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Home > Family & People > Adult Sexuality   »   How can you tell is someone only uses you for sex?

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Old Oct 27, 2009, 02:52 AM
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How can you tell is someone only uses you for sex?

I'm really confused and upset, The guy i love i'm not with anymore but do still have sex with is driving me crazy. I re think everything over and over and try to see the good but all i get are negative thoughts in the end. This is the guy i want to marry someday and he says the same to me. He says all kinds of sweet things, but sometimes i think i'm just getting played.
How come he can say all these amazing things but not be my "boyfriend"? Sometimes i think he hates when i even speak yet if were hanging out he'll keep asking me whats wrong if i don't (cause im always talkative) Well today, after having a bad weekend with some other guy i talked to him, he was asking why i bailed on him sunday..and i really couldnt give an answer so he assumed i have a new bf and got really jealous. kept questioning saying f**k him and he hopes he dies and wanting to know their name. I don't really have a boyfriend so i told him over again i didnt. Finally we got off that subject and the first thing to come out of his mouth is sexual.
It just seems like if it's not drama the only thing he wants to talk about it sex. Not how i'm really doing...it makes me sad =/

I made a joke saying "jeez it's hard to beleive i'm the only person you have sex with since your always so horney." And he claims he doesnt like hooking up with random hoes cause its akward and embarassing.

He also says he just gets really turned on when he thinks about me

So what is he just using me since he's obv too insecure to hook up with anyone else?
Or does he keep coming back to me cause he loves me and likes being close to me? I really wish i could know whats really going on but this is life and we really don't know much.

I also want to state that a few months ago he got upset thinking i was using HIM for sex. So idk what that means either.

(sorry if this is confusing and might not make sense...i havent slept for over 24 hours and am anxious and paranoid)
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Old Oct 27, 2009, 05:27 AM   #2  
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Ages please......it helps a great deal.

a youger guy is far more inclined to say or do anything JUST to get in your pants than an older guy is.
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Old Oct 27, 2009, 05:44 AM   #3  
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Quote:
Originally Posted by itsamor View Post
I'm really confused and upset, The guy i love i'm not with anymore but do still have sex with is driving me crazy. I re think everything over and over and try to see the good but all i get are negative thoughts in the end. This is the guy i want to marry someday and he says the same to me. He says all kinds of sweet things, but sometimes i think i'm just getting played.
How come he can say all these amazing things but not be my "boyfriend"? Sometimes i think he hates when i even speak yet if were hanging out he'll keep asking me whats wrong if i don't (cause im always talkative) Well today, after having a bad weekend with some other guy i talked to him, he was asking why i bailed on him sunday..and i really couldnt give an answer so he assumed i have a new bf and got really jealous. kept questioning saying f**k him and he hopes he dies and wanting to know their name. I don't really have a boyfriend so i told him over again i didnt. Finally we got off that subject and the first thing to come out of his mouth is sexual.
It just seems like if it's not drama the only thing he wants to talk about it sex. Not how i'm really doing...it makes me sad =/

I made a joke saying "jeez it's hard to beleive i'm the only person you have sex with since your always so horney." And he claims he doesnt like hooking up with random hoes cause its akward and embarassing.

He also says he just gets really turned on when he thinks about me

So what is he just using me since he's obv too insecure to hook up with anyone else?
Or does he keep coming back to me cause he loves me and likes being close to me? I really wish i could know whats really going on but this is life and we really don't know much.

I also want to state that a few months ago he got upset thinking i was using HIM for sex. So idk what that means either.

(sorry if this is confusing and might not make sense...i havent slept for over 24 hours and am anxious and paranoid)
You're being played. Period. This guy is using you for sex. You will never marry him. Move on and find somebody decent.
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Old Nov 1, 2009, 02:19 PM   #4  
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Wow I am in your shoes! I mean I have been off and on with my guy, and one time we broke up and my ex came over but stayed for five minutes and I went to go see the guy I was with off and on. My ex and I werent even in the same room it was WAY awkward. But to say the least I hid it from him because I knew he would leave me. But now we are broken up AGAIN. I love him to DEATH and I want to marry him. We still hang out everyday and when his friends call to see what he is doing he goes I'm with my girl. It makes me feel good but then i ask what he wants and he says he still needs to think. yet he talks to other girls i caught him pretty much having sex over texting and yet he leaves me for this?! And he has hung out with other girls. But yet we still have sex i still give him oral pleasure. But now i have gave it up and said if you dont wanna be with me then i am done. I love you but i cant do it.
My advice to you is the same. Find a decent guy. because that is what I am doing. Mine just got out of jail because he was so drunk we were fighting and he walked into the wrong house and got shot! and his friends called me and asked how he was and he got pissed at me not them. Just move on. Its all you can do.
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Old Nov 1, 2009, 11:56 PM   #5  
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Sorry, but it just all sounds REALLY dysfunctional.

Why do you even let this guy play with your head?

You love him but you're not together, but you have sex, but he's jealous of other guys .... huh??

If he loved you and wanted to be close to you he'd be with you. If he loved you and wanted to be close to you he'd treat you with respect.

He's using you for sex and you're allowing it. Why would he hook up with anyone else when you're ready and waiting?

Get your head together and give him the boot. This isn't love.
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Old Nov 2, 2009, 01:21 AM   #6  
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Chances are, that if you feel like you are being used, you are.

Don't put all your faith into a broken vessel.

What sticks in my mind is when asked about sex with other women, he responded " I don't like sex with RANDOM HOES" Does this mean he considers you a FAMILIAR HOE ?

If he doesn't treat you with respect, cut him off, and find someone who will.

Never take less than what you feel you deserve.
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Old Nov 2, 2009, 06:03 AM   #7  
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You are getting played....almost any youger guy will sleep with any remotely attractive women if she lets him. He doesn't have to love you, he doesn't even have to like you.

I'd put as much distance between this guy and yourself as you can....you can end up with an std (like Herpes or AID'S) or pregnant by a guy that is nothing more than a booty call.
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