He's finding sex on the internet

airamait · #1 Oct 24, 2009, 04:20 AM

Help
My Partner of over 2 years has stunned me ..... I've just found out he has been advertising for women on the internet for casual sex and it has been going on for years. He is 55 and in a very senior position at work.
Our relationship up until this point has been wonderful .... we thoroughly enjoy each others company, the same likes and dislikes, we both love travelling.
I feel like someone had stabbed me ..... I feel hollow
What do I do ?

redhed35 · Oct 24, 2009, 04:27 AM

my first concern would be for your health.

go get a full check up,including all S.T.I's and S.T.D's.

if he has been doing this for years,your relationship was not as perfect or wonderful as you thought.

have you confronted him about this?

did he give you an explaination?

stevetcg · Oct 24, 2009, 08:42 AM

You leave him. Plain and simple. Its clear that you are more into him than he is you. So thats it... keep being a doormat or leave... up to you.

bronzebabe · Oct 24, 2009, 02:01 PM

I agree with the others. Get checked for STD's. Then, you tell him what you know, and you get rid of him. He has some severe problems, tho it's certain he doesn't see that- or care. He is doing some dangerous things. And, you don't need to be there.

Gemini54 · Oct 24, 2009, 05:11 PM

Clearly this man is not as wonderful as he seems and has had a secret life which he has managed to keep completely secret from you.

His behavior is deception and cheating of the highest order.

He is a liar and a cheat and does not deserve even the smallest consideration. Your physical and emotional well-being were always at risk with someone that behaves like this - look at how you're feeling now! Sadly, your relationship has been flawed and essentially doomed from the start.

I'm not surprised you feel eviscerated (anyone would), but the first thing you have to do is protect yourself and cease all contact with this man.

jmjoseph · Oct 24, 2009, 05:42 PM

Your relationship, that you thought was so wonderful, has all been a lie. The whole time you two were together he was meeting strangers for sex? This shouldn't be a hard decision for you. However, I know that you are heartbroken. This has got to be one of the most devastating episodes that you've ever had. I truly feel for you.

I hope you follow redhed35's advice to get checked. There's no telling what kind of people answer such requests. Has he been a patron of prostitutes also?

How did you find out about this? Were you suspicious? Did he come clean?

The big question is, are you willing to make a change? Can you leave him? Could you ever forgive him? Or are you going to wonder when he is late from work, that he's up to it again.

If you do let him get away with this, you would be handing him a "cheat anytime I want for free" card.

Don't go through this alone. Find someone you can confide in, like a friend or family member.

The most important thing is, do not blame yourself, or allow him to try to put this off on you for anything he says you did, or didn't do. You are a victim. Remember that. All you are guilty of is putting your trust in someone who gave you their word to be faithful to you. How dare he crush you with behavior like this?

You will get over this. The world is full of men that know how to treat a lady.

May GOD give you strength and peace.



At Ask Me Help Desk you can ask questions in any topic and have them answered for free by our experts. To ask questions or participate in answering them you must register for a free account. By registering you will be able to: Get free answers from experts in any of our 300+ topics. Accept money for answers that you provide. Communicate privately with other members (PM). See fewer ads. Sign Up!