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I've been wondering as of late if my hubby is gay..we have been through a lot and I've been trying to figure out where this tension is coming from. He used to want sex everyday..not a problem cuz its always good but then he would complain its not enough..WHAT! Then he lost interest, stopped making advances. He spends more time cuddling his privates than he does me. He loved for me to strap one on for him..so much that I became concerned! It was about me bangin him. Then I started to see little things..the way he walks, runs and makes love. Its quick and selfish on his part. Not like before. He walks kinda girly he likes to wear cut off shirts and no belt in public/work. Its like he loves to show off his pecker trail to all the dudes at work..and btw they all make gay cracks to eachother. His mother/grandmother were begining to worry that he would nvr marry. He's very manly in other respects..he's a good handyman, he's into cars and he's great with the kids.(I'm expecting our 5th child. 3 from my previous marriage) I can't even think of all I want to say..feel like im rambling.he gets lit up whenever he talks about a particular buddy..who when ge comes to visit he will NVR come inside! This guy, since I've been around has nvr had a girlfriend.(I've been with my hubby for over 3 yrs.). His grandma has even made a statment about our 2yr.old.."wouldn't it be aomthin if this one turns out to be gay!?" what does that mean!?!?! Help me! I need some direction. I dnt wnt to live a lie. I stay home..I do it all from lunch,dishes dwn to mow the lawn..Idnt wnt to be the one who is here for convenience rather than love..I love him deeply.. What do I do?
the first thing you need to do is stop placing so much stock in stereotypes. contrary to popular belief, you CANNOT usually tell if someone is gay just by looking at them or the things they're interested in.
liking anal sex doesn't make him gay. the male g-spot is actually stimulated by anal sex.
guys making gay jokes to each other rarely means that they're gay. it usually means they have some fear or resentment of gay man.
his friend not coming in, or having a girlfriend in the time you've known him, doesn't make them a couple. it could be that kids make him uncomfortable. a lot of guys, especially when they get past their mid-20's, don't really have what women would consider relationships. it doesn't make them gay, it just means they're not the type that's cut out for settling down and having a family,. women at that age are usually looking for someone to have a serious relationship with so they can settle down and have a family, so the men avoid getting into relationships.
how old is he? you said his family thought he was never going to get married, which makes me think he's older. is it possible he's hit a mid-life crisis? keep in mind that men can go through that anywhere from 30 onward. the change in dress could be mirroring how younger guys are dressing, by sagging his pants. (oh, and sagging his pants would change the way he walks.) his selfishness in bed also fits in with a mid-life crisis. having another kid could also help cause a mid-life crisis. it makes it that much more apparent that he is now settled down and 'stuck.'
have you talked to him about it? you don't have to ask him if he's gay. just talk to him about how the way he's treating you and how his behavior has changed is making you feel. until you actually sit down and have a conversation you're just going to keep wondering and worrying.
as far as your son goes; ignore his grandma. he's two years old. he doesn't even know what sex is, let alone sexuality. if he ends up being gay when he's older, then he's gay when he's older. if you spend the next 16 years of his life watching for signs that he's gay and waiting for him to come out, you'll drive yourself insane.
even the second point isn't always a sure way of telling. they could be bi, or just happen to like sex with members of the same sex without having to be physically attracted to them. it's also possible to be straight and have feelings for that ONE person, who happens to be the sex as you.
You wouldn't be straight (known as hetero) if you had any gay feelings......that by definition would make you bi-curious unless you acted on them, then you would be bisexual if you did.
Thats one of those things that you are or aren't.....no real grey area there.
But its still purely speculation unless caught in the act or they openly admited to it.
Hiowever cracking gay jokes or gay cracks isn't normal between straight guys.....if anything they would be making the rude type of gay jokes. Straight guys amoung themselves generally tend to be Uber Macho.....the alpha male thing. At least amoung all the straight guys I've met in my nearly 48 years on this planet.
Now with that said.....the dude with the biggest schlong...does tend to strut around but its a Alpha male thing again...not that the other dudes even want to see it or anything (most don't, the straight ones anyway). Hard to express that in terms women would understand since its a guy thing. Women have their own particular way of doing much the same thing...usually breast related. But straight guys tend to be far more homophobic than straight women are when amoung themselves, particularly friends.
You wouldn't be straight (known as hetero) if you had any gay feelings......that by definition would make you bi-curious unless you acted on them, then you would be bisexual if you did.
Thats one of those things that you are or aren't.....no real grey area there.
But its still purely speculation unless caught in the act or they openly admited to it.
Hiowever cracking gay jokes or gay cracks isn't normal between straight guys.....if anything they would be making the rude type of gay jokes. Straight guys amoung themselves generally tend to be Uber Macho.....the alpha male thing. At least amoung all the straight guys I've met in my nearly 48 years on this planet.
Now with that said.....the dude with the biggest schlong...does tend to strut around but its a Alpha male thing again...not that the other dudes even waht to see it or anything. Hard to express that in terms women would understand since its a guy thing. Women have their own particular way of doing much the same thing...usually breast related.
i see you go by the kinsey scale. sexuality is judged by actions. it has become a bit outdated in recent years.
i see you go by the kinsey scale. sexuality is judged by actions. it has become a bit outdated in recent years.
Possibly....but by any means you decide to arrive at the answer...you still get to the same answer.
If you eliminate the purely asexual people (rare), and Hermaphrodites (How would you group someone with both parts anyway? also rare), you have three groups...THe Heterosexuals, the Homosexuals and the Bisexuals.
Now there is room to argue when fantasy comes into play (as in concious thoughts vs unconcious dreams).....but actions are clear to define.
I'm of the school you define people by their actions. Nobody really knows what a another person might think, but they do know what they do.
Cutoff shirts went out of fashion among macho guys in the 70's....definately wishy-washy there. Definately effiminant these days...ripped off sleeves is fine....but midriff baring is a no-no in the macho crowd.
but the OP needs to be careful about overanalyzing things too.....if you look hard enough for something convinced its there evenually you will find it even if it doesn't exist.
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