Hasband is loosing interest in sex

kavita_kalra2003 · #1 May 12, 2007, 10:56 PM

My hubby has a touring job,but when he happens to be in home 7-10 days a month he does not show much interest in sex.
he was very aggressive in past 1-2 years back. when comes from trips but now at only 33 of age, he just sleeps tired not asks for sex. I need to initiate & continuously encrage him for getting sex otherwise he does not feel interested for even a month. Can any one suggest for incresing his interest in sex

kepi · May 13, 2007, 12:09 AM

You know, when women are in their prime, men are...not. So it could be that. I would suggest you welcome him in a sexy outfit and see where that takes you.

Ash123 · May 13, 2007, 09:27 AM

I hope he does not have a GF.

If not, like many relationships, if it is true love then there should be respect in and out of the bedroom and he should be more attentive. it's ok to be tired, but it sounds like he's done with sex...many longterm realtionships suffer from "cooling" if you do not have time alone to be intimate and communicate. consider a weekend away once a month...your relationship has danger signs (i bet there's more to this than you have told as well) and it's time to go into action.

NowWhat · May 14, 2007, 07:58 AM

Alot of men go through this. They can't stay "up" as long - their drive is lower than it used to be, etc. And they get very embarassed or ashamed of this.

Stress can be a factor as well. If he is stressed out in his job he will get tired and just want to "forget" the day.

Try talking to him about this and see what is going on.

kepi · May 14, 2007, 01:31 PM

Once again, COMMUNICATION!

You should be undestanding but at the same time not let this just go on. You deserve to be happy, and not just emotionally.

smoothy · May 15, 2007, 08:12 AM

Stress can do this to a guy. Frequent travel for work can be stressful. Like was mentioned. Talk find out whats up with him, if he honestly isn't stressing maybe its time to see a doctor. That can be symptoms of other problems that should be attended to. Like high blood pressure, diabetes, etc.

cely05819 · May 15, 2007, 01:01 PM

I am wife number 3 so when my hubby and I got together he already two children and we then had two children together. With 4 kids in the house (the youngest ones wanting to always sleep in our bed) it was really hard. He was exhausted from work and after being with kids all day a little adult activity is all I wanted.

It finally came down to me sitting him down and saying "Look, you've got to give me something!" It doesn't have to be romantic, we don't have to cuddle afterward, it doesn't even need to be conventional sex, oral is good, watch me masturbate for you, anything!" He didn't really seem to get it at first but I persisted. I told him that I know he loves me and that he desires me he just wasn't showing it. So, after the kids went to bed, I would sit on the couch and talk dirty to him and start trying to get him going, when he would say he was too tired I would just say 'OK' but I'm going to keep going without you. After sitting there just watching me put on a show a couple times his sleepy attitude seemed to fade away :-) It took some time. He was going through a phase I guess. Ever since I showed him that I am a sexual woman who wants and needs to be touched he has been ever so attentive. Even when he's tired he'll bend me over the kitchen the counter for a quickie if that's all he has the energy for.

We still don't have our bed all to ourselves yet but when the youngins go to bed the rest of the house is ours, the laundry room, the dining room, the living room, the kitchen, even the backyard!

Good luck

suezq74 · May 15, 2007, 02:53 PM

Don't want to stir the pot, but are you sure he is not getting it somewhere else???

littleme · Jul 31, 2008, 12:40 PM

just adding my voice to some of the others here : it could be that he is just tired from what sounds like a stressfull job: try to spice things up by dressing up, massaging him, giving him a shower....(use your imagination) and see where that takes you :-)
i dont think he is getting it from somwhere else because, from my experience, when that happens men tend to cover it up by being extra attentive to their wives...
just try to make him see that you have sexual needs too and i think he will get over this phase...good luck!



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