My girlfriend and I have been dating for close to eight months now. And the relationships as a whole is great. We share a lot of interests but still have enough difference to keep things exciting and allow for space when needed. The only thing is, she doesn't seem to want to ever have sex with me. On that rare occassion when we do (3-4) times a month, it is very good. However, 99 % of the sex that we have it is always initiated by me, there by always leaving me to question whether or not she actually wanted to.

Now we have tryed to have open discussions on it (one aspect of our relationship we value most "communication") but every time it comes up it never seems to have a resolution. I feel as though she doesn't think that it is affecting our relationship. That is not to say that I am one of these guys that would dump my girl just because she didn't have sex with me. No, I am merely just stating that it is causing frustration for me i.e. "sexual frustration." This frustration over the past months has caused me to put less effort into being romantic and engaging with her in the daily things we enjoy together. I know that this is frustrating to her and causes wonder. I really try to do things that I feel could "sweep her off her feet" and I have ideas, fortunately I am a hopeless romantic and believe in it. I want to take her places and show her the world. Unfortunately this hopeless romantic has a fairly strong sex drive. I don't know what to do. I would love any real advice that could help. Why Doesn't My Girlfriend Seem To Want To Have Sex With Me?

oneguyinohio

She probably values other things more than "doing it"

Life isn't like the movies where the women want it all the time... at least not all women.

Don't take it so personally. Different people just have different sex drives.

Choux

At your young age, what you have there is a friend, not a girlfriend. The definition of a girlfriend(wife) is that she is the woman you have sex with and share orgasmic pleasure as well as being your friend.

Why are you putting up with this situation? Do you watch porn? Are porn and masturbation your sex life? IF so, you should go for therapy immediately!

kp2171

what the hell... you are being told to get therapy for porn????

ok.

whatever.

NOTHING in your post suggests this. but ok... what the hell ever.

you get what you settle for. no... it is not chivilrous to wonder whether you will be getting laid enough to justify the relationship.

theres more to a relationship than sex... then again, sex is one of the best parts of a relationship. how many people say "gee... i just had too many orgasms"...????

but the kicker is this... you need to talk to her, try to find some middle ground... after that, if you choose to be with her, you choose to live this life.

you dont get to choose to be with her AND whine about a lack of sex.

i am not being hard on you... just making you face the truth. talk it out. let her know what you need. listen to what she needs. after that, if its not a good fit but you choose to stay, its all on you.

simoneaugie

Relationships require give and take, as well as acceptance. She may not be the partner for you. Usually, when women are sharing the same estatic, orgasmic experience as you, they're eager for more. Women who do not want sex do not usually initiate it. Women who do not want to have sex, probably don't orgasm while you're around.

That's not a failure on either of your parts. It is simply a lack of experience. The experience can be gained together. You can read about female anatomy and orgasmic response. Educate yourself.

There's this very old song that I had a tape of in college. I can't remember who the band was, but I always started laughing when they sang the chorus:

"I know a little, I know a little, I know a little 'bout love, and baby I can guess the rest."

Yeah, right, y'idiot. There's so much to learn. Please don't guess.

psychman09

Im curious as to why or how you got that porn and masturbation are my sex life? And therapy? hmmmm...sounds like you lack an understanding of what I was trying to say. As for being "Webster" I am aware of what a girlfriend is. I may only be in my 20's but have shared in loss, love, passion and will only continue to learn more. She is my friend, my best friend.

Choux

Sorry, I was too blunt talking to you. I didn't take time to make a longer answer about BOTH of you and your sexual situation which I see as possibly complex.

Please accept my apology,

psychman09

I liked what you had to say, straight to the point and no sugar coat. And agreed, after a certain point it clearly will be on me to settle or choose not to be with her. However there is much in the relationship that deserves to be explored and seen through. She could be the one. I have never had a better friend. I may just have to open her to new things, who knows. Thank you though for responding.

psychman09

Accepted.