Hi

To start with, I have to be honest and say that I am young. I'm not quite and adult in terms of age, but I am decades beyond my age in maturity. I would appreciate adult consideration on this problem.

My girlfriend is the same age as I am and we have been together for over two years. She has always been able to talk about sexual acts and fantasies, but she has problems with even wanting them. Any time that I try to put her in the mood (i.e backrubs, showers, etc.) I either fail to interest her, or, we start foreplay but then she stops after about 8- 10 minutes. I understand that sex isn't always an essential part of everyone's life, but I am a very sexual person ( Not piggishly so) and she seems to have no interest. Never once has she initiated any kind of sexual endeavour and she VERY rarely "talks dirty". She insists that I am "smokin' hot" and I feel the same way about her. She even displays jealousy when other girls show interest in me. She also does very little to initiate physical conact, like cuddling, for example. However, when the jealousy kicks in and I am around other girls who are unmistakably flirting with me, she suddenly is hanging off my shoulder and every word.

I know she loves me deeply, because when we had a fight and broke up two years ago, she got depressed and spent a lot of time alone. She constantly uses excuses such as her period and fatigue to avoid my direct demands for a more physical relationship. I am starting to get depressed and rude with her in my frustration.

I thought another important factor might be that I am currently undergoing treatment for Hodgkins lymphoma cancer ( Which is a non aggressive cancer and 100% curable) and I have lost my hair. She assures me that she still finds me attractive, but I have doubts.

Before you attribute my problem to the cancer and hair loss, you should know that this has gone since the end of our first four months together. Any advice that you can lend would be greatly appreciated.

Thank you!

Also, any tips you might have on how to keep her interested and enjoy sex and foreplay would be appreciated.

How old are you in numbers?

She's either shy or your better off just friends. If she is not really interested then understand she may see you more as just a friend. You decide. Also if she is still a virgin, then leave her be! She may not won't to run into something rashly and good on her if that is so. Just accept that she may or may not love you, but if you are still in your teens then don't take too much to heart if you split. Teenage romance rarely lasts longer than a few years and is normally hormone fuelled.

Also by being rash and rude to her for denying you sex, then you need to conclude that you are extremely immature about the whole situation, and if she was my daughter, then I wouldn't look at you twice as suitable for her.

Keesha, we NEED to know his age before we can answer.

You MUST be at least 18 years of age to get advice on the ADULT sexuality boards.

Please be aware that there are liability issues involved---would you want someone giving advice on sex to your 13 year old daughter? The liability issues, by the way, may affect YOU, not just AMHD.

PLEASE do not answer until we have an age.

Apologies Synnen, wasn't aware of that. Won't happen again. At least I got one thing clear though!