I have been dating my boyfriend for almost 9 months and I can not orgasm. Whether if it is actually intercourse or oral rubbing the . Both feel extraordinarily good but then it gets to one amazing place and won't go any higher to actually climax. My boyfriend stays hard (sorry for that very vivid image but I can't think another way to say it) and lasts as long as I need normally, but it never just happens. I thought maybe it is a mind thing and I just need to let go but I feel like I am relaxed and not scared or embarrassed about it. I feel like I should be climaxing but it just isn't happening ever. Could there be something else besides a mind controlling thing wrong with me? Thanks to anyone willing to say something about this.

ashley0716

I doubt anything is physically wrong with you, a lot of it is mental, you are trying to hard. Just relax and enjoy being close and intimate with your man, and it will come, but forcing it makes it so much harder. Try throwing some toys in there, maybe a "ring" or a vibrator.

barbiegirll

I hate this and it makes my boyfriend like he sucks and he definetly doesn't. Maybe it is just all in my head. This sucks!

ashley0716

Girl this is NORMAL!!! You are stressing about it. Seriously, try clitoral stimulation with a vibrator, it doesn't mean your man can't perform. But getting a girl off is a difficult task. How long have you been "active"?

barbiegirll

Yeah, I probably am stressing. I think too much and worry too much. Um, he is my first and him and I have been active for about 3 months.

ashley0716

ok, I was active for FOUR YEARS before I discovered how to get myself off....so stop sweating it! you guys haven't learned each other's bodies perfectly yet. Hell I've been married for four years and I still don't know each and everything my husband does and doesn't like. This is part of the fun. Be open, tell him what turns you on and what turns you off. You gotta have a healthy sex life. Get creative. There is nothing embarrassing about going to a novelty store and picking out some toys, they keep things steamy and spicy in the bedroom! Hope this helps!

barbiegirll

Thank you very much. That kind of took a lot off my shoulders. Now maybe I won't worry so much about it. Thank you so much again

ashley0716

oh and there isn't anything wrong with faking it a little to boost his ego, but make it believable. I faked it for the longest time because I too thought something might be wrong with me and I knew my hubby's ego would be damaged. but fake it smart!

barbiegirll

Well I don't know about you but even though I haven't actually climaxed it still feels extremely amazing with the feeling as it is happening and how we are so close and things. I don't know how to fake it or I would just to make him feel better

ashley0716

Well if you are enjoying it a great deal, I see no need to fake it anyway.....don't worry, eventually it will happen and when it does, you won't be able to get enough of it.