First time swallowing

I have NEVER ever wanted to swallow or spit. All my close friends KNOW and make jokes about how I only give head on my guys birthday or on a holiday and that I would never allow to enter my mouth. However, I'm now in a relationship with a guy I really love and want to please. He loves everything about me and proves it all the time. There's nothing he wouldn't do to me. He eats me out, licks my underarms and much more. I call him my " dirty boy". I told him that I feel bad because I want to swallow but I just don't feel that I can do it. I told him just thinking about it makes me feel like I'm going to throw up so what if I try it and actually vomit. ? I would just die!

So latey he has been working on getting me to swallow and I've been doing every thing to try to talk myself into it and just go for it. I've read about it, watched videos and done visualization exercises. I knew that I would need to be heavily sedated with a drug to even try it for the first time. So he gets us some cryptno (Which I never do either. The last time I smoked pot was back in the 80's). After we smoked it I felt more than ever like I wanted to try it last night, so I did......

I read about how it would or could taste and how if it got on a certain area of your tongue it could taste bitter or sweet but I decided to go with the deeo throat method so it would just shoot down my throat and I wouldn't really taste it.

So during the act, he shot a load and at first I didn't even realize it had happened but as soon as he shot the first load and was starting with another one, I immediately threw up. Like I mean seriously vomited everywhere. I was so humiliated.

He loved the fact that I just swallowed. He was so into it that I don't even think he even realized at that point that I just threw up. He was saying ohhh don't stop... So I started sucking again but then stopped cause I was so embarrassed about what had just happened.

Then if that wasn't enough for him, ( you know those men who you give an inch but they want a mile) he moved on the other side of the bed and said " come here baby, come do it again." So like an idiot, trying to please him... I come try it again but this time I really threw up everywhere. I was so high... And we both were laughing and it was just so embarassing on my end. We took a shower, change dthe sheets and then went to bed.

He had to go to work today so he was already gone when I woke up but I am really so upset about it and embarrassed about it that I don't even know what to say or how to face him this afternoon. He did call me a few minutes ago and says he can't wait until tonight.

He can't wait until tonight? What does that mean? Now I'm really scared. He said he's so happy because now he knows I can actually do it... Again, is he not thinking about how I vomited not once but twice because of it last night?

Please help. I really want to be able to do it (without vomiting) ... And I know I still have some phychological issues to work on ( I think it's because I was raised Catholic) but I don't know what to do.... Has this ever happened to anyone else or is this just me?


Thanks,
Y