Basically I'm 19 and a virgin, wanting to wait until marriage for full intercourse but I'm exploring my sexuality. I recently got fingered by a guy and the first time I did with him a few weeks before this it was fine, it just hurt a little, naturally. The second time it hurt a lot and I started to bleed a bit after. Is that meant to happen? And if so is it because he went too deep? Has it got something to do with the hymen? A few hours later and I'm still sore, is that meant to happen?

I DO apologise about the intense description but too shy to ask anyone I know! Any help would be much appreciated.

He went to deep and broke your hymen or he could have scratched your insides

It sounds as if he broke the hymen.

Thanks for these responses!
He wasn't very gentle so think he may have scratched something inside, I wasn't bleeding too heavily and not for long either, just noticed streaks on tissue.

Wouldn't he have to have gone VERY deep? Or no?

Tell him to cut his nails! It could have been he broke it possibly, or just scratched you which sucks a lot (just the thought of it freaks me out personally) and it's better to be safe and ask him to cut his nails just in case.

More an interjection than an answer, and this advice applies to many women. Before you start letting a guy get in there, get in there yourself. Figure out what you like and what feels good, the communicate that to any partners.

Thanks for these answers, they're really great

I agree that it sounds like he stretched if not 'broke' your hymen.

I hope this is a boyfriend and not someone you are just playing sex games with. I say this because of the trust factor. IF you don't want to lose your virginity any time soon, then you have to trust that your partner will respect your boundaries and listen to you. If this male was being rougher than you wanted or trying to break your hymen with his fingers (not knowing what he is doing will only go so far as an excuse for causing you pain), then you may want to rethink who you are experimenting with.

Be careful. Fingernails can scratch and cause infections. Hands can also transmit disease from one person to another. So clean hands and well-groomed fingernails are advisable. Also, make certain that neither of you touch his penis then your vagina especially after he ejaculates.

I am going to suggest you get a vibrator or dildo (they don't vibrate, etc.) to play with.

We are kind of seeing each other, I don't know how better to put it. He's waiting as well so it's all mutual. I think he just had no idea what he was doing because he seemed so clueless so thought fast and hard was the way to go loool I tried to direct him but I guess it wasn't getting through.
Yes, I made sure he was clean first - he had a shower! Lol
Yeah after he came we pretty much stopped haha. Erm I hope he hasn't broken it, I doubt he has, taking everything into account.

Thanks again guys, any more advice... keep them coming!

Dildo? I don't want to go that far with anything... *covers face*

Thanks for the help though, really great advice

Make sure he washes his hands right before... you could end up with a UTI or yeast infection if his hands are crusty enough and you are susceptible enough.

You can get a LOT of bacteria on your hands and still LOOK clean.

Second what has been said about fingernails... but will add some guys skin can be rough or dry depending on the time of year and what sort of work he does... if any. Skin cream can help if that's the case.

Hope you change your mind about vibes. In time, you probably will.

Please self explore. There is no one perfect answer for what works, and my early experience, as a man, was frustrating. The first girl I performed oral on, a girl I dated for years, never, ever reached orgasm. I was "doing it wrong" but didn't know why or what or how. Some years later, it was opposite. I could confidently work with a woman to find what she liked, needed, desired.

A different girl I later dated and fingered, after using manual stim to get another previous love off successfully, feigned pleasure but really... she was just massaging my ego.

I'm all for being proactive when it comes to sex, or damn near anything else. Education is great. Read. And read more. And talk about it. Think about it. Try things out. Ultimately, I've had the great pleasure of knowing some wonderful women who demanded what they needed... and they knew this only by trial and error and time and trust.

So... the best sex happens in between your ears. When you can mentally release and really relax and feel what you are feeling without barriers or concerns... it really amps up the moment.

I remember the very first time a lover self stimulated while in bed with me. From your response above, I know you aren't ready for this. Still shy. But I can tell you... it was so intense. So amazing. To kiss at a lovers neck while she was pleasuring herself manually... unbelievable.

I hope you get to that place. Not necessarily that exact place... but to a place where you are comfortable with your own body, your need to explore it, your need to direct your lover, and your willingness to both make mistakes and demand more for yourself.

Glad you posted. Keep at it. It takes work.

Didn't you feel inadequate or a spare part when she was doing all those things to herself?
You're right, I'm not confident enough. Maybe with a bit of time/practice things will change. Thanks for the advice! It's helpful coming from a guy.. =)

Nope. And I suppose that's just experience that makes me comfortable...

Part of my comfort came from a relationship where the woman could have an orgasm every time, all the time, if she self stimulated while I was inside her. Every time. Now... I suppose one could say "why am i not enough"... well, look at the anatomy.

The cl!toris has twice the innervation as the penis and is placed away from the primary point of stimulation... which can be good when considering hyperstimulation can be painful for some... but also bad because some simply will not get the physical stim they need or want.

So there was an unsure moment that first time she reached down with her fingers and got off while I was inside her... mostly a feeling of "am i supposed to be seeing this" type reaction. Like the first time a lover just walked around naked in front of you like its no big deal. That movement from inexperience and some inhibition to comfort with ones own body and others as well. But that "odd" moment was absolutely displaced by seeing her have a great orgasm.

Likewise, the first time I self stimulated while she was next to me I simply woke up aroused, asked her to kiss at my neck and ears, and "problem solved" while she was next to me. In that case, she was interested in helping, but probably not ready for sex at that moment mentally, so instead of stopping me she was glad to play along in a supporting role.

So... expect a moment here and there as you take some leaps where you are a little insecure. Unsure.

All I know is you miss 100% of the shots you never take. So... sometimes be willing to be a little uncomfortable. If it doesn't feel right, you can stop. If it doesn't go as you wish, you can not do it again. You don't need to beat yourself up about simple mistakes.

We get embarrassed. We have successes and "failures". It's a part of the process... and the discovery can really be a fun part of it.

Get this book and read it. Amazon.com: She Comes First: The Thinking Man's Guide to Pleasuring a Woman (9780060538255): Ian Kerner: Books

Not the bible of sex. A few controversial parts concerning sexual anatomical theory... but if some of the ideas open your thinking and some of the steps help you with sex and sensuality, then its not a waste of time spend reading. I mention this book all the time because it was an important book for me during a relationship where we were doing OK sexually, but sometimes its was stalling out for her and we needed to explore some. Needed some sublte changes and approaches to a few things. Its an easy read that explores a few ideas that should be thought about and talked about.

I have a good friend who is a refugee from burundi. He might like some cheesecake. But he has never had cheesecake. He doestn know it exists. He knows about other foods, but not cheesecake. So... unless I tell him about it, show him it, and unless he tries it, he's not going to know whether he likes it.

That's a simplification, I know. There are "moral walls" and comfort zones (some concerning safety) with sex and sexuality... but the less I get in my own way, the more I get to understand myself and my choices.

And I choose cheesecake. ;)

Brilliant contribution! Thank you!