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Hi i am 20 years old and my boyfirend and i have been going out for a year now but i know i fake my orgasims with him when we have sex. what should i do? i want to feel having my orgasim soo bad even though i only herd from my friends how it feels i never felt it. there was this one time when we went at the beach an had sex on the sand an that was the only time i think i was really close to having my orgasim. but it never happened. i get wet really fast but i just never come i dont knwo why? please help me....each time i fake my orgsim i feel really bad when i am done because i am unsatisfied but cant say because i dont knwo what i am supposed to feel or even do to get one and at the same time i dont want to make my partner dissapointed that he did not please me.... please help..
First of all many women fake the O ...this is not unusual...I need to know...are you faking it because he is not the best when it comes to sex?...if so tell him ...you need more...most men will love the challenge...
I've been married for 11 years and still have yet to have an organism with my husband. No need to fake having one, it's just some women don't accomplish them. You can go to the gynocolgist and talk to them about methods to help.
Start first by figuring out what you like. This is best done when he's not around. This should obviously be a clitoral orgasm since cervical are WAY harder to achieve. Then, have him help you once. Or, if he can't figure it out or touch you just right, then do it to yourself while he is inside you. A little re-positioning might be necessary. I recommend the spoon position for this sort of activity because he can get a first hand look of what is expected of him.
If you want to achieve cervical, you may need a little help. Some guys just can't reach. Stuff a couple of pillows under your butt to lift everything closer to him. Interestingly enough, too much moisture can actually make things difficult on the guy (can anyone say Catch 22?). I still haven't figured out how to deal with the too much moisture issue except to finish the woman off in a way other than intercourse.
If he cannot manage to give you an orgasm during intercourse, learn to play until you climax and then let him penetrate you. That way you'll both be happy, just at different times.
Oh, and ladies...don't fake. It's like cheating. You may get away with it for a long time but you'll get caught. When you do, it hurts and negates all that has happened in the past. Trust me, a guy would rather have a goal than be lied to.
Intimacy is a lot more than screwing..... A LOT more. As a matter of fact, screwing is the mechanics. Intimacy happens in the brain. Guys can get off without intimacy. Ladies can't. Well, most of 'em anyway.
Do you know how I know, that you're not intimate with your bf? Because he doesn't know what's going on with you. If you can't open up to him (and I don't mean open up that way), then you're never going to learn how to orgasm.
AND, if you continue to conceal yourself from him, worse things will happen to your relationship than simply not getting off. The other side of that coin, is once you do reveal yourself, you'll orgasm your head off.
Picture some Hunk...handsome...with the muscles in the places ...that you can say... I liken that...and sweat hits your forehead...mouth starts to watery for something juicy...think about the action ...yell to him...tell him where it's hurts...so that he will do it again...big O is coming...get into your head...then you can handle his...
For me personally, giving a woman pleasure is as much (if not more) a part of making love as receiving it ... If my woman was not having an orgasm I would want her to tell me so that we could try whatever it takes for her to have one ... I'm dating a woman that hardly ever has an orgasm because of being abused during her childhood ... Sometimes when we make love (and I say make love because for me it's not just about intercourse) she has an orgasm but sometimes she fakes it and now I've gotten to the point where I 's don't even know when it's real or not ... I would love for her to be honest with me and tell me when it's real ... I don't mind if she doesn't have an orgasm ... She doesn't have to pretend ... Not knowing just makes a man doubt everything he does with a woman ... Be honest with your man SexyChick ... He'll appreciate it more and in the long run so will you
heres the thing... guys and girls are just structured differently.
with most guys you could find their major errogenous zone wearing oven mitts in the dark. right??? i mean its right there. done deal.
a woman, in my limited experience, is more complicated. a lot of talk goes to the c1itoris, but even that isnt the same one to the next. i can count probably eight major errogenous zones in my partner. ears, neck, breast, lips, c1itoral, labia, anal, g spot. and then there is mental. various stim at different times is key with her.
dated one girl who absolutely love hard stim of her c1it... could really get her off almost all the time. just when i thought i was king and knew it all, the next partner HATED strong c1itoral stim... only liked very light, oral stim until she was ready for more direct.
so... my point is, well a few points.
first, can you get yourself off? if not, try harder, more often, or different things. if you dont know what pleases you, how can you help your partner? get over it, and get off. and remember, its not just physical. if my partner isnt mentally ready, all the "right moves" wont lead to anything.
second, once you know what you like, help your partner. different positions can help. my partner just cant ever get off in the missionary position. she likes it, but it doesnt push her over the edge. on top, she has more control and can get there easier. and then theres another position that is just money for me and gets her there from time to time with multiple stim.
so... the point is you shouldnt fake it. you might need to do some work to figure it out. do the work. your guy most likely really wants to please you. with my partner, we often take "turns"... as in ill focus exclusively on her, and then she on me... sometimes it works out for both of us... but not always. the sensations i like arent always the best for her. the sooner you can talk to your partner about this, the sooner youll be satisfied.
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