I am not a virgin [[obviously]] and when I have sex I don't feel anything. It just thrusts in me. Its in and I get wet but I don't get pleasure out of it. And if I get wet its not for long. Am I numb down there or is something wrong with me. The partner is perfectly fine. The foreplay is fine. I just don't feel it. No orgasm. No nothing. All I feel is the thrust and that's it. What's wrong?

Are you otherwise healthy? A trip to the ob-gyn may be helpful... but in all other cases, there's a good chance that you're just not emotionally into the sex. Does the foreplay turn you on enough that you want to have sex?

I feel fine during the foreplay I mean there is so much kissing it gets boring and my mouth feels dead. And when the sex comes I'm fine I get ready we use protection or he pulls outs but still I feel nothing like I said thrusting and full but there is nothing. He is fine he does his things and tries to help me and I fake for his benefit but I have never told him I don't feel anything. Could it be him or is it me?

I have a feeling that you just get plain bored during sex... not enough passion possibly? It should be fun + exciting for the both of you... and pleasurable as well.

How old are you? How long have you been sexually active? Have you always felt this way or was sex ever good?

The only way to fix this is to talk to your partner. Have you tried masturbation, if so, do you get pleasure out of that. You have to talk to your partner, let him know that this isn't working for you, if he really cares about you he'll understand, then both of you can find a way to work this out. Or you can continue faking it and be miserable.

On a more serious note, I noticed that you said that sometimes he uses protection and sometimes he pulls out, do you want a baby? If not, then don't rely on the pull out method, it doesn't work as a form of birth control. Always use protection, if you are sure that he does not have a sexually transmitted disease than go on the pill, otherwise you might have a big surprise in nine months.

Good luck.

Well, this may seem like a weird question but, how big is he down there? Let's just say there was this girl, and she had sex with this guy who was 10+ inches in length. This girl felt nothing good. It just felt like someone was jabbing a stick into her bladder. If he is ample down there, this may be your problem. Also, the emotional part can have something to do with it. I have always said that sex is about the moment, the passion, the lust and the love. If you aren't into it, you won't feel anything.

Well, maybe you just need to find the right type of foreplay and the right timing.
This is always important, if the two of you want to really enjoy eachothers bodies.
Stress, eating, and exercise are all a key factor in any type of sexual relationship,
If you're not happy entirely, then darling you're not going to enjoy it. Yes you still get wet from sex, even if you don't enjoy it. Men mistake this as a sign, that you're enjoying what they are doing. You need to let him know, and find ways of getting aroused. Foreplay is an option, watching porn, masturbating, or even watching a gay flick might do the job. Your hubby may find this repulsive, but at this stage it is all about you becoming aroused and excited, so you can enjoy the sex you're about to have. Some women find gay flicks a turn on, because its not girl on girl type, but men on men. Something totally different in sexual arousals. Try some of these methods and get back to me... might have more suggestions later.

What about oral sex? Have you ever have an orgasm during oral sex?

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Originally Posted by Altenweg

How old are you? How long have you been sexually active? Have you always felt this way or was sex ever good?

The only way to fix this is to talk to your partner. Have you tried masturbation, if so, do you get pleasure out of that. You have to talk to your partner, let him know that this isn't working for you, if he really cares about you he'll understand, then both of you can find a way to work this out. Or you can continue faking it and be miserable.

On a more serious note, I noticed that you said that sometimes he uses protection and sometimes he pulls out, do you want a baby? If not, then don't rely on the pull out method, it doesn't work as a form of birth control. Always use protection, if you are sure that he does not have a sexually transmitted disease than go on the pill, otherwise you might have a big surprise in nine months.

Good luck.

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Masturbation doesnot do anything for me either it is just ehh

And my partner is huge down there or even small it honestly just feels like a stick not like the hard uncomfortable way but like in out in out I just feel the pressure in my stomache/bladder.

I'm honestly sick of this feeling or lack there of.

And I also don't orgasm off oral sex either.

I don't even think I have ever had a orgasm.

Because it has been happening since I lost my virginity.

[[i don't like oral]]

Maybe it's time to visit the doctor, there could be a simple medical reason that you are feeling like this. It's worth looking in to, you're to young to be this turned off by sex.

Have you ever had a complete physical? I'd definitely make an appointment.

Jeez... a lot of women prefer clitoral stimulation as opposed to penetration. Just put a vibrator on your c.lit during sex.

If you don't feel anything in your sex organs during intercourse, then, there is a problem in your brain... you are either severely sexually repressed, suffering depression, not turned on by this man(or men), other psychological impairment from religion/culture... and lots of other stuff.

How to start building some passion and break down the walls of repression? Well, I think your first stop must be a physician where you can get examined and get a referral to a *good* therapist. You need to talk about your sexuality and related matters.

If I were you, I would stop having this pleasureless sex and get on the road to recovery.
Don't make your present reactions more entrenched.

Best wishes to you in the future.

Further to the comments made by Choux : do you know that you can learn how to control muscles around the vagina and provide a male (and yourself) more feeling during penetration? It increases the pleasure with both partners! :p + :p
Just find a sexual therapist near you for more information.
.

I just recently had sex and tried my best to live up to all this advice but still same old feeling... it was horrible. It got to the point where I gave up.


I'm destined to be forever numb.

Can I ask how old you are? It sounds cliché and it may sound like it was made up by adults discouraging kids from having sex, but really... there's a certain age in which you "learn" to enjoy sex...

I say this because one of my exes lost her virginity at 14... and our sex life was... ehh... she just didn't get too into it... while my other ex, who lost her virginity at 20... was a wildcat.

Well honestly I'm fairly young and lost my virginity at the same age as your ex 14 and even though that was a LONG time ago and I have had sex times after this I still have the same plain feeling. Nothing good.

I think I might just take a long break from sex for a while and figure out what I want and like because maybe I am just not easily aroused. Well anyway I am going to thiink about whether I am going to continue having sex and if not ill take a break and maybe ill find someone worth the time and sexual strength