please read this, i need your help

im 18 and so is my boyfriend iv been with him for 10 months and for about 5 months hes telling me hes not ready to commit and isnt sure he wants a relationship.and at points hes said he wants to feel he can do stuff with other women should the situation arise.but then he changes hes mind. he hasnt said this in ages though so im not sure if that is an issue now. any way hes still not 100 percent in the relationship and sometimes is still not sure if he wants to be in one . i know he loves me. also for a few months now are sex life has been bad, it used be really good and he always wnted it. said it was a big part of his life. now he says he doesnt realy feel like sex though he still wanks and looks at porn, and about a month ago he told me that he doesnt find me sexually attractive ( im not ugly and have done some modeling) , i feel so ugly now and so self concious i have to take my makeup off in the dark and put it on the morning before he wakes up. hes always got other pics off girls as wallpapers on his pc and that, and once when i did give him head he asked if it was ok for him to watch porn at the same time, i wouldnt have a problem with this except he must be fantizing about them instead of me, and this makes me uncomfortable. iv tryed hard to make him feel attracted to me again and its not like i dont make an effort every time i see him. when i try to innitiate sex he turns me down but still has a wank later.

i just need some help in how to deal with it coz im not going to leave him. i need to feel attrctive again and be comfortable about him fantazing over other women instead of just ignoring him ann feeling betrayed hurt and unable to satisfy him. ( by the way i am adventures with him in bed).
also how can i want him to have sex again and be more excited about out relationship.
what should i do about it all

please wb thank you

Ash123

What do you want in life?
It's not going to happen where you are and every day you stay you get further from it.

LEAVE and show some self respect or stay and frankly you will loose your friends...and your online sympathy. I know you came on here to find a waay to solve this, but he has bad character and that is NOT Solvable.

What happened to you growing up that would make you endure this?
Ask yourself that and then see if you are a strong girl or a weak one.

He is betting you are weak. So far, he is right.

I am betting you have something surprisingly strong in you, that's why you are on this site. You know what you have to do.

**But you are not a prisoner.
Can you imagine being locked up against your will??? Well, it happens everyday all around the world. You are lucky - you can run away.

Don't forget that....and don't make yourself a victim.

I am rooting for you!!

Now, let's see who's right?

If it's him, then so be it.

SO, from now on, don't allow yourself to be too pathetic.
it may be why he treats you like a dog.
your next boyfriend will respect you more...

Maricruz

Ash is right...if you keep letting him treat you this way, he will continue doing so.

Why do you want to have sex with someone who was told you that you are not sexually atractive to him? Just so he doesn't leave? He is NOT worth it. I am not a prude by any means, but I truly believe that sex needs to happen between people who care for each other at some level, and I'll say it again - no one who really cares for you will tell you that you are sexually unattractive. And anyone who would rather watch porn than enjoy a physicial relationship with someone has some serious issues.

Many years ago when I was about your age, I had a boyfriend who flat out told me I danced like an idiot - in front of my family -, that I didn't dress right. He had me do his physics project for him while he watched soccer on T.V. (got an 100% - never thanked me). He was my first, he was good in the sack (or so I thought at the time), so I was blinded... luckily I had two very good friends who told me what a jerk he was and took the blinders off by telling me he'd slept with his cousin and was bragging to the guys about it. I dumped him. When I told my family at Sunday dinner, I got a standing ovation. Everyone said they were trying to figure out a way to get me to break up with him, but knew that if they did, I'd just be more stubborn.

So some of us have been where you are and don't want to see you go through what we went through. You are worth waaaay more than you give yourself credit for.

12345help

umm well ur all be very happy to knew that , i tried to talk to him about my insecites and as i suspected it lead to him telling me that we cant fix the relationship coz he cant help how we feels - not wanting to be commited , and now weve broke up
i gues i know it was always going to happen just tried to prolong it as much as possible
il try move on wid my life tho he wants to be friends so that will be hard.
i just fink i dont want to move on incase he decideds he wants me back and during the time apart il do something to jepidise that,
i know i should move on though
i will try
any way im going to try and keep smiling and not let him know how much this is hurting me
thank for all your advice before
il make sure i keep posting on this site
thank you

novacaine69

hun i can relate to this and i know exactly how you are feeling.
its easy for people to say leave him and i know sex is a big thing in a relationship at our age, however after being in a two year relationship previous ive learnt that sex isnt everything and yes u do have low self esteem but its those moments when your oput together watching the tv together cooking together thats what pulls me through. even though i still pester him for sex, just follow your head more than your heart. hope it works out for you

Synnen

Closed for dates.