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Does my girlfriend just have no sex drive at all?

Asked Jul 4, 2008, 04:36 PM — 35 Answers
Hoping I can get some advice, I've been dating my girlfriend for almost a year now, and every other aspect of our relationship is dead on, we click almost on every level. That being said, there is one aspect of our relationship we don't have, a sex life. We have no intimacy at all beyond kissing and cuddling. We are both in our 20's, and she herself is still a virgin. I have been talking to her about this, though I haven't been pressuring her, but I can only wait so long before I know I myself am not going to care anymore and that will be the end of us, but I don't want that. When we talk about having sex, she doesn't seem to know the reason as to why she doesn't want it herself. I am not sure if its just her being a virgin she's scared, or if there simply is no sex drive (limbido) there. A few times when we have been making out I've tried to innocently see if I could advance a little, and all that happens is she moves my hands away and says no. I've been sitting on the side lines for almost a year now hoping she'd get more confortable and curious and want to engage in sex, but that doesn't seem to be working, is there anything I can do to help our relationship develop a healthy sex life?
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35 Answers
talaniman's Avatar
talaniman Posts: 44,329, Reputation: 50356
Senior Family & People Expert
  
#21

Jul 7, 2008, 08:34 AM
Quote:
I think you should apologize for the red box.
You made it personal with your reddie so you first! We can debate all day, but why take it personal? I have never attacked you, that's your opinion also.
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smoothy's Avatar
smoothy Posts: 15,494, Reputation: 10703
Uber Member
  
#22

Jul 7, 2008, 10:02 AM
Deal with it. Not all women want to or are willing to be someone's booty call until the ring is on the finger. Maybe she see's something you aren't recognising.

Respect her wishes or find a new girl friend/ concubine.

Just because she won't put out now doesn't mean she won't make a great wife or be great in bed after you are married.
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Choux's Avatar
Choux Posts: 3,053, Reputation: 2479
Ultra Member
  
#23

Jul 7, 2008, 12:22 PM
****ADULTS DATING for a YEAR****

Time to take the relationship to another level.
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talaniman's Avatar
talaniman Posts: 44,329, Reputation: 50356
Senior Family & People Expert
  
#24

Jul 7, 2008, 12:28 PM
Quote:
Time to take the relationship to another level.
Thats up to them BOTH!
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amber55's Avatar
amber55 Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
New Member
  
#25

Jul 7, 2008, 12:32 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by thatguy2007
Hoping I can get some advice, I've been dating my girlfriend for almost a year now, and every other aspect of our relationship is dead on, we click almost on every level. That being said, there is one aspect of our relationship we don't have, a sex life. We have no intimacy at all beyond kissing and cuddling. We are both in our 20's, and she herself is still a virgin. I have been talking to her about this, though I haven't been pressuring her, but I can only wait so long before I know I myself am not going to care anymore and that will be the end of us, but I don't want that. When we talk about having sex, she doesn't seem to know the reason as to why she doesn't want it herself. I am not sure if its just her being a virgin she's scared, or if there simply is no sex drive (limbido) there. A few times when we have been making out I've tried to innocently see if I could advance a little, and all that happens is she moves my hands away and says no. I've been sitting on the side lines for almost a year now hoping she'd get more confortable and curious and want to engage in sex, but that doesn't seem to be working, is there anything I can do to help our relationship develop a healthy sex life?
Time. She isn't ready and you have to respect her for that. If you are the one, how special will that be? Be patient..
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Choux's Avatar
Choux Posts: 3,053, Reputation: 2479
Ultra Member
  
#26

Jul 7, 2008, 12:35 PM
**HE ASKED FOR THE ADVICE**....correct, **HE** has to put the *quality moves* on this ADULT woman....if she wants to be seduced AFTER THIS LONG YEAR OF COURTSHIP, she will accept his invitation.

Viva l'amour!

Apology, please, tallyman.
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Choux's Avatar
Choux Posts: 3,053, Reputation: 2479
Ultra Member
  
#27

Jul 7, 2008, 12:39 PM
Talaniman disagrees: What lousy advice to young people, "grow up and give it up," that's shameful.

This is what you are to apologize for.
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smoothy's Avatar
smoothy Posts: 15,494, Reputation: 10703
Uber Member
  
#28

Jul 7, 2008, 01:05 PM
How many date rapes have been atributed to a guy that thinks a woman can be persuaded into putting out when she obviously isn't ready to?

Thats more the point. They may both be adults but if they both don't want to do this its a gnats hair from being a rape. I'm not saying this is the case, but if the guy doesn't take a step back when the woman says no it can happen all to easily.
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Choux's Avatar
Choux Posts: 3,053, Reputation: 2479
Ultra Member
  
#29

Jul 7, 2008, 01:43 PM
Sex is implied when going on a weekend trip with a man....if she doesn't want to have sex, she won't go!

Smoky, this is not your discussion.
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talaniman's Avatar
talaniman Posts: 44,329, Reputation: 50356
Senior Family & People Expert
  
#30

Jul 7, 2008, 01:51 PM
Quote:
Choux]**HE ASKED FOR THE ADVICE**....correct,
Correct
Quote:
**HE** has to put the *quality moves* on this ADULT woman
Where is that written?
Quote:
...if she wants to be seduced AFTER THIS LONG YEAR OF COURTSHIP, she will accept his invitation.
Which she hasn't!
Quote:
Viva l'amour!
Que sera, sera!
Quote:
Apology, please, tallyman.
I don't think so!
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