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Hoping I can get some advice, I've been dating my girlfriend for almost a year now, and every other aspect of our relationship is dead on, we click almost on every level. That being said, there is one aspect of our relationship we don't have, a sex life. We have no intimacy at all beyond kissing and cuddling. We are both in our 20's, and she herself is still a virgin. I have been talking to her about this, though I haven't been pressuring her, but I can only wait so long before I know I myself am not going to care anymore and that will be the end of us, but I don't want that. When we talk about having sex, she doesnt seem to know the reason as to why she doesnt want it herself. I am not sure if its just her being a virgin shes scared, or if there simply is no sex drive (limbido) there. A few times when we have been making out I've tried to innocently see if I could advance a little, and all that happens is she moves my hands away and says no. I've been sitting on the side lines for almost a year now hoping she'd get more confortable and curious and want to engage in sex, but that doesnt seem to be working, is there anything I can do to help our relationship develop a healthy sex life?
She's too old to be maintaining her virginity. She runs the *risk* of being a sexually dysfunctional or whatever.
Get her an expensive gift and take her on a great weekend getaway. A place where you can go hiking, or play tennis, go sailing on a lake.....just show her a good time.
Since you are going to be sleeping in the same bed, have a rose and a condom ready for her pillow....the stage is set....(or whatever seduction you want to use). Remember, if she really is a virgin, it's going to hurt her most likely...perhaps, she should have pne delicious drink, with alcohol, to cut the pain?
I'm serious...she is 23....time to experiment with sex or *risk* becoming dysfunctional.
The situation isn't going to get any better than this guy; she cares for him, and he is considerate of her. Time to grow up.
I'm serious...she is 23....time to experiment with sex or *risk* becoming dysfunctional.
The situation isn't going to get any better than this guy; she cares for him, and he is considerate of her. Time to grow up.
I will disagree on so many fronts. 23 year old virgins may not be the in thing, but she is free to be celibate, if she chooses, or the right guy comes along, and to think this is the only chance that she will ever have is NUTSY BOZO!!!! We all know she can kick this guy to the curb, and get someone else before you can blink, so why should she be in a hurry to do something just to do it??? Could she be taking her time, and finding out about her partner of a year?? Thats what I think is going on. She may be thinking further ahead, and is more prudent than this guy wants. He is already ready to quit, because he can't get what he wants, so maybe she is waiting for the one who wants more than just some physical relationship.
How many have we seen on this forum, who have mistaken sex, for love, and when it fizzled they were confused????
Duh! She had been dating him for a **YEAR**...she really likes him. Time for her to grow up.
Thats what he says, but that doesn't equate to sex, or anything else physical. Sex is not a given here, just because its been a year. Not ready is not ready.
i think the comments on here are quite harsh, a lad in his twentys lasting a year with a girl he wants to shag the brains out of is doing well. it shows patience and love to stick with her. i mean by all means do push her she will come round or ask her outright when she thinks she will be ready, sounds harsh but perhaps shes not as keen on you as you are on her, but give the poor lad some credit he must be ready for some good sex after a year. i gave into my boyrfriend after 2 months and at the time it was a mistake we had a break as i was not ready but i missed him we tried again and now both of us put the effort in concerning sex
Or he can move on himself, if its that big a deal. As a mature man, I develop the love and trust, and when she is ready it will happen. Not everyone has that "gotta have it now mentality". If she means more than just a romp in the hay.
He doesn't even know what the problem is, so where is the communications????
i think the comments on here are quite harsh, a lad in his twentys lasting a year with a girl he wants to shag the brains out of is doing well. it shows patience and love to stick with her. i mean by all means do push her she will come round or ask her outright when she thinks she will be ready, sounds harsh but perhaps shes not as keen on you as you are on her, but give the poor lad some credit he must be ready for some good sex after a year. i gave into my boyrfriend after 2 months and at the time it was a mistake we had a break as i was not ready but i missed him we tried again and now both of us put the effort in concerning sex
I can agree with you, as you did admit it was a mistake at first and maybe his g/f doesn't want that same mistake, but not to be personal, were you a virgin, at the time??
You go a lot slower if your a man who is dating a virgin, at least thats what I always thought.
Maybe thats the whole problem, he never had a virgin before!!!
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