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Hi,
My girlfriend and I have had a great sex life for the three years we've been dating. She always wanted it at least 1-2 times a day, we would always watch porn together, everything was great! If anyone ever turned it down, it was me. Well she has recently became pregnant and now she says she has no sex drive, now I'm lucky if I can get it once every other week.
One of the hardest parts about this, is she says she don't want me to masturbate at all, and I'm no longer allowed to look at porn. She says that if I do either of those, it makes her feel like shes not good enough. I tried to explain to her that its kind of hard to go from having sex ALL THE TIME to lucky if I can get it twice a month, but she don't seem to care. I almost feel like I'm back in school, and have to hide somewhere to pleasure myself a little.
Maybe you could compromise and while she doesn't want to have sex, she could be there when you masturbate? So that she knows that it's HER you're thinking of?
No, unfortunately their is no one. She talks to a friend of hers about it, but her friend completely agrees with her. Her friend is pretty much the only one she will take advice from other than me. Since her friend is on her side, that means what I say pretty much don't matter.
She has asked me one time if I had masturbated at all, and I'm not going to lie about it, so I told her yes, she got mad at me, and we argued about it for two days.
She's pregant, so shes got all sorts of Homronal changes making her act weird...however expecting you to abstain even from masturbation since SHE isn't feeling horny isn't right in my mind. That said if she isn't feeling like it, thats fine...but no reason to demand you not vist Rosie Palmer and her 5 sisters when you need release. It would be wrong to expect her to put out when she doesn't want to on the other hand.
If you masterbate, do not tell her. Do not let masterbation become an addiction either.
She is completely irrational and you need to expect that during pregnancy. For my wife and I personally as soon as we found out she was pregnant it all stopped. ALL OF IT. THE WHOLE 9 MONTHS BUDDY.
It might have been hard but both of us realize it was safer not to for my wife and during her pregnancy because of health reasons.
To demand for you never to masterbate is a sin.
Oh, and even though she says that to you. I want to here and now bet a million bucks that she has masterbated and have not told you about it.
I completely agree, I told her if she don't want it, I don't want to make her. As it is, the rare days she does actually say "lets have sex" its like shes just lying there off in her own little world. I've heard her tell her friend that she only does it as often as she does because she feels bad for me.
To Jesushelper - I do, do it without telling her, but I'm not a liar. If she asks me again, I'm going to tell her the truth. I guess I was just more hoping for someone to help with a good argument to her to make her understand that all guys do it, and that there is nothing wrong with it. I still love her just as much as I always have (I wish just saying that would be enough)
A guy (a normal one anyway) is going to masturbate if a willing woman isn't present. Whatever you do don't tell her at least you aren't sleeping around because you don't need THAT thought bouncing around in her cranium for 9 months. Just tell her you NEED to get off and if she isn't feeling up to it then you understand and need to do it yourself. But don't be sarcastic when you say it.
I've been in her shoes, though, and I understand where she's coming from. She feels fat, ugly, icky, and unattractive. No matter what you tell her, she's probably not going to feel any different. Plus, at least with MY pregnancy, everything internalized. I was never in the mood either. My whole body just kind of turned any sexual urges off.
To expect the same from you, though, is completely unfair. YOU don't have hormones whacking up your system making it pretty easy to forget about sex. And, if you're like the guys I've known in love with their pregnant wives...the changes in her body are actually VERY attractive to you.
No argument is going to work unless you can get her to understand that you can't just turn off sexual urges. MAYBE you can get her to understand that SHE still turns you on, and it's driving you crazy that she doesn't have the sex drive she used to. You don't want to force yourself on her, or make her feel obliged, but you need some sort of relief.
Could you go along for doctor's visits and bring up the concern of lack of sex drive there?
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