Hi, I'm 20 years old and I think I am confused about my sexuality. Its began when I was 17, a close friend of mine told me she was gay and all of a sudden I started to question myself whether I was or not. I always feel threatened when I see other pretty girls however as I get to know them the barriers fade and they might as well just be my sister as I have three. I get really low about it but im not sure if i suffer with depression also. I have a boyfriend at the moment and was in a two year relationship with a male not so long ago. I really enjoy having sexual intercourse with my boyfriend and I've had a few male partners n enjoyed it with most of them but ya know yourself not everybody is compatible in bed. Ive spoken to a few people about it even my gay friend and somehow gay people are very good at knowing if people are gay or not and she strongly believes im not, but why cant I stop obsessing about it, sometimes I almost feel sick when I see another girl. Another thing that I obsess about is why don't I fancy every male I see eventhough not everybody does and you cant really fancy someone till you know them. When these emotions take over n I get really low this when I notice I couldn't be bothered with men but I couldn't be bothered wit my family or friends at these times either. I just feel like I need some answers, I dread going to places where I know theres going to be loads of girls and its just a nightmare at this stage, the thoughts are taking over my whole life and I just need some help. (Sorry about the long message)

Ash123

No need to worry.

You sound NORMAL and actually....heterosexual.

Women often connect well with the same sex, and unlike men, easily appreciate another woman's body - and maybe envy it too. And a lot of guys your age are wankers right now.
And fairly mediocre on bed....

If you were gay it would not be much of a debate...it would be an emotional pull that made men not even stack up.


Be well. Be safe.

A

plonak

Ok so you get threatened by pretty girls when you're around them, why does that make you think you're gay, it sounds like the opposite to me.. you seem to be making a problem out of nothing. Of course you can't look at every man and think he's attractive, let me tell you i think there are some ugly dudes out there and that doesn't make me gay.. it's normal to have somewhat of an attraction to the same sex.. Like if you look at a girl and you can tell that she's pretty, and may even subconsciously admire her.. or in your case you're threatened by her.. ask yourself.. do you have sexual urges when you look at a girl?? doesn't seem to me that you do..

Stop worrying so much... i really think that you are building this all in your head. maybe you need to address your depression.. i don't think this is the real cause of your depression, it might be something deeper

Xrayman

No one is completely hetro 100% no one is completely Homo 100% we are humans with varying degrees of attraction to/from the opposite sex. This does not mean you are lesbian/bisexual or anything you are you and I think you may be bi-gendered (you feel attracted to some of the opposite sex-maybe not to the point of physical want for sex with them, and you feel the same towards your own sex-that's bi-gendered)

unless you feel this intense feeling of sexual attraction-for physical sex, with both sexes, then you are what we commonly refer to as Bisexual.

Bigender - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Oh and i forgot, if you were truly lesbian-you would not be asking us here-YOU WOULD KNOW from a very young age, not 17.

Choux

I thought about your question for a long time and tried to read between the lines as well as reading what you have to say.

This is my opinion...take it or leave it.

Anyway, I have read many articles about how it takes this generation longer to mature than it took, for example, when I was a girl your age. What I'm trying to say is that you are 20, but you are struggling with issues that we faced when we were 13 years old. I think you are a bit immature emotionally and mentally, and that is hampering your ability to deal with questions and situations in your life. (I assume you are a student?)

Not only are you a bit immature, but you are overwhelmed with sexual experience with boys and not all of it was pleasant. In addition, you are impressionable, *very impressionable*....that is influenced by your peers, your girlfriends. Best friend is gay, maybe you're gay!

I think you need to do things to develop your strength of character and confidence. That would be build a well-rounded life. I'll make a couple of suggestions.

1. Volunteer your time where people need help, people *not* like you.
2. Join a cycling club and get a lot of cycling exercise every week.
3. Get a part time job as a waitress in a busy restaurant. Develops mental strength.

I also think you should go celibate for a while.

Have a *balanced life*, a busy life and give yourself time to mature as a person.


REally really best wishes in the coming year,

melodie

If you were gay, how would you feel about it?

Handyman2007

I am sorry but I disagree 100% with this response.
Have you ever felt as if you were physically atracted to your gay friend or even other women? If not, you are hetero.

Jesushelper76

I think that you need some counseling. Just because you mentioned there are times you do not want to be around anybody. There could be slight depression here, but the only way to find out for sure is to talk to somebody. Would not hurt.

I really do not think your gay, your a normal person. Worrying about things way too much then you should be. Honestly no need to worry.

RESPONSE TO HANDYMAN,

Your way off base in your response.