Hi
I wonder if any one can advise me.
I have a new boyfriend.
I am 46 and he is 54
There is a lot of chemistry between us, but he does not reach an orgasm.
I have never been with anyone this age and I wondered if it is normal?
What can I do to help?
Can anyone give me any insight to this age group?
Is there a norm?

He hasn't said anything, but I would like to be able to help him as I believed that
even at his age men can have an active sesual life.

thanks,

letmetellu

Men are different, some 30 year old guys have trouble reaching an orgasm, and also some fifty-four year old men have the same problem.
Has he never in his life had an orgasm? Does he have an orgasm when he masturbates? have you ever given him a hand job and made him have an orgasm. Have you ever given him oral sex and made him have an orgasm.
Knowing the answer to these questions would give me an idea about what his problem might be. It could be that he is just one of those people that has to have more fore play and more friction to get to the point of having an orgasm. It could be some kind of medications he is taking although medications usually affect the erection more that it does the orgasm.
Until I hear some of your answers I would just say try harder to get him more excited before the point of entering you, and then continue up with your body motions.

ramblinguy

I'm in my 50s and am dating a gal several years younger. Sex has been amazing. From the start we have communicated what we are open to . What you describe can happen. If he knew you were ok with him taking care of things in the end. and he thought you were fine with this he might find that exciting and in time the problem will probably just go away. No pressure! Communication is a wonderful thing.

melodie

He's tired.

Credendovidis

Hello dinkle82,

I'm many years your friend's senior in age, and I can tell you that with rising age these problems simply start occuring. You do not specify the particular reason(s) for him to fail reaching an orgasm. Nor do you indicate if you can climax during sex with him.

There are many reasons for this problem :
- it can be due to him losing an erection or sufficient pressure for a full erection (Viagra !)
- it can be a result of fatigue and/or lack of energy.
- it can be the result of psychological pressure due to the new relation.
- it can even be the way in which you participate (or the lack thereof).

Your question seems to indicate that you assume that an orgasm is a "must". Just as it is not an "absolute" requirement for a female, neither is it for a male of his age. The pleasure of sex is in the sharing. Not in the few seconds of orgasm.

An active sexual life depends on the relation between two or more people. Reaching an orgasm is nice, but not essential at higher age. Your friend may have problems, but the fact that he hasn't said anything about it, but still seems to enjoy sex with you, seems not to indicate that there is a problem, and I doubt that he requires any help in this matter.

Of course you can discuss it with him. But make sure to let him know that even without him climaxing you enjoy the sex with him.

As at any age : communication between partners is essential. Also in sex. Talk about everything in a supportive way, instead of complaining. Indicate what you like, what you need. And ask him what you can do, and how you can help for him to climax. (Doggies, blowjob , or you sit on top and do most of the work, etc.)

Just enjoy what you have together, and don't create a problem where none seems to be !

Synnen

The OP hasn't been back in OVER a year.

Closed.