I know this is probably pretty normal, but having been raised Catholic, I just have to ask because I was always told that thinking it is as much a sin as doing it (and spent many a weekend saying repeated "Hail Marys" in penance for whatever sin I did in thought, but not deed):

Should I feel guilty because I often close my eyes and imagine I'm having sex with a stranger when making love to my husband of 24 years?

Nothing against his lovemaking, as hubby knows all the right buttons to push to get my motor purring, but I often feel guilty about having to picture someone else's hand doing the touching to get my mind to follow along with the physical enjoyment. If I don't get my mind to follow along, the physical enjoyment will often end prematurely - and after 24 years of almost daily sex, hubby often doesn't finish for a long time.

Simply put, if I don't cheat in my mind, I'm left with pain after sex instead of pleasure, but if I do cheat, I have a guilty conscience to ruin the afterglow. So do I stop picturing strangers, or start with the "Hail Marys"?

Or am I just weird to ask such a stupid question at my age?

jrb252000

I don't think it is a bad thing to have a fantasy as long as you don't act on it. 24 years is a long time to be with someone. I don't know if maybe you can try to spice things up somehow.

keenabena

Not one Hail Mary can take any thoughts away. and i doubt saying them will make you feel better. You have to understand you have a conscience and most of us ignore it . IF its not there, tell you husband and talk to him about change or what turns you on and you' ll be surpised that a lil change would be better, and then you can fantize about him in the day time and come home to the reality. Thats Y most peolpe are so unhappy beacuse they try to make fantasy's real and there just that a fantasy. Make reality a fantasy and then the fatasy is made real. No disapointment that way.

smoothy

Everyone has fantasies....most of us keep them as fantasies. Thats not saying you can't talk about them. But he has to be open minded enough to talk with you and not see it as an opportunity to take jabs at you.

eustress89

I don't think it is considered cheating to just fantasize about someone else. I am sure your husband has done it before, so don't feel guilty. You have been with him for a long time and you just need to fantasize in order to keep the sex life alive. That is totally fine.

saraispiel19

hey i'm mαrried okαy-- fαntαsies αre fine! i'm pretty sure the hubby hαs them too

αs long αs you don't αct on it or tell him αbout it [umm thαt'll hurt him αnd leαd him to think you wαnt to or αlreαdy did...]

try not to mαke it αn obession though k.. like oggoling αt every single piece of mαn meαt you see--hαhα boundries tiggerellα boundries... just think αbout it .. how would you like your husbαnd to think of αnother womαn..whαt do you think is okαy for him to fαntαsize.. then thαts your αnswer

good luck to yα girlie<3

SpawnOfAzazel

Fantasies are healthy so as long as they're not acted upon in such a way that would harm someone. Maybe you can spice things up by doing a little role playing with your hubby, and save the Hail Marys for when you really need to use them.

ramblinguy

Fantasies are normal. Meant to be enjoyed, but not necessarily shared by talking about them.

statictable

A healthy, normal fantacy and shared by the majority. Enjoy

smoothy

Some fantasies can be shared with a partner you can trust and find a way to act on them in a manner thats fine with both of you. Can be a great way to spice things up in the sack.

I'm not catholic but my wife is.