Okay here's my question. I just found out that my husband has always been into adult sex sites like fling.com where he's "chatting" with women there. Now he claims he only talks about the weather general stuff like that. Please, cut the F#$#$$% S@#$!!! I am really not that stupid. anyhow he claims it's no different than chatting on msn with his friends. He doesn't see that there is anything wrong with this, yet I feel that I've been cheated on. He never told me or showed me these sites. He even had a profile which he erased as soon as I found out. I said well if it's no big deal, than why did you erase it. He states because I made him mad. I claims I was snooping around on him. When actually I found out completely by accident. I was shocked as hell. I knew he sometimes downloaded porn when I wasn't home, however I just assumed that all guys looked at porn and I didn't think it was a problem. So here's my essential question, is chatting with actual people on adult porn sites any different than just looking at magazines or movies? Do all men do this? I didn't think it was right doing it in a marriage (the chatting that is). Please I would love in put from men and women who have different views on this topic?

kepi

Smoothy, talking to a person of ANY gender about a possible encounter (sexual) is bad....

Also: When online, you never know WHO you're talking to. The person can claim to be whoever they want to claim they are.

Andreas_111

It is not bad to watch porn if a man wants to, since he is faithful to you. If he is not faithful then you have a problem

smoothy

True...In this context I assumed it was with a member of the opposite sex however (or someone he believed to be). But yes I agree with what you said as well.

Watching porn is fine....adult chatrooms are not. The difference is human interaction.

shatteredsoul

Might?? Definitely it's an issue. Why else would he have kept it to himself?? No, not every guy goes on sex chat sites, or even views porn. I think if you knew he was doing this and you were comfortable, it would be one thing. I don't think hooking up like that on line is appropriate for anyone who is married because it is a betrayal to your relationship. He isn't just viewing things, he is using it to connect with others and to be mutually satisfied, so to speak. It is awful to find out something like that and I don't think you should take this matter lightly. My friend went through this and found out he went even further to meet with one of the people he met on these online sex chat rooms. They are now divorced. The relationship has changed and you need to seek some help for the both of you. Have you considered maybe this has become an addiction for him? I hope you find a way to get through this, I think making him feel accountable for his actions and understanding your feelings is critical for you to get past it.

smoothy

I agree, would he like it if she secretly chatted with guys online. I wouldn't give a hoot if my wife watches porn...we do that together and have no problems...but neither of us chat in any sort of chatrooms.