At Ask Me Help Desk you can ask questions in any topic and have them
answered for free by our experts. To ask questions or participate in
answering them you must register for a free account. By registering you
will be able to:
Get free answers from experts in any of our 300+
topics.
Anybody over 55, how does this match up against your own experience and your impression of your contemporaries?
Anybody between 35 and 55, do you hope and expect to maintain your current level of sexual activity into your golden years?
Anybody under 35, does this interest you at all?
I'm 61, been married to my current wife for 21 years. We stopped having sex three years ago, a combination of emotional estrangement, lack of desire, vaginal dryness and erectile dysfunction. I miss it terribly, and it doesn't make me feel better to know that many people my age and even much older still have decent sex lives. Don't get me wrong, I'm happy for them, but I do feel kind of sorry for myself. Is that immature of me?
Excerpts:
Quote:
The nationally representative survey of more than 3,000 U.S. adults ages 57 to 85 found that more than half to three-quarters of those questioned remain sexually active, with a significant proportion engaging in frequent and varied sexual behavior.
Quote:
"This study paints a portrait of this aspect of older Americans' lives that suggests a previously uncharacterized vitality and interest in sexuality," agreed Georgeanne E. Patmios of the National Institute on Aging, the primary funder of the study. "This has not perhaps been fully appreciated."
Quote:
"We found people to be grateful to have an opportunity to discuss these issues," said Lindau, noting that researchers achieved an unusually high 75 percent response rate from those they approached. "The topics we were asking about resonated with people. Many said they had never had a chance to talk to anyone about these issues, not even a spouse or their physicians."
Quote:
"Our findings indicate that when it comes to sexual activity, older people are really just younger people later in life," Lindau said "There's no reason to believe they give up the basic human desire for love and intimacy and the kind of pleasure that comes from intimate relationships."
Quote:
Among those who remained sexually active, nearly half reported at least one sexual problem. Forty-three percent of women reported a lack of sexual desire, 39 percent of women reported vaginal dryness, and 37 percent of men reported problems achieving an erection.
I agree that you're not immature. I think you're confusing that with envy.
And as for your "combination of" list, you have the ability to change them all, if you want to.
The most difficult perhaps would be the emotional estrangement. There your partner will need to come along with you to in order to delinquish that feeling.
That's my take. I just turned fifty, so I could be wrong. I'll know more when I get old.
But I read that link - good reading for the over-the-hill gang!
And as for your "combination of" list, you have the ability to change them all, if you want to.
The most difficult perhaps would be the emotional estrangement. There your partner will need to come along with you to in order to delinquish that feeling.
Well, yeah, and she'd kind of have to be on board as far as lack of desire and vaginal dryness is concerned as well. When I brought up seeing a doctor about my ED, she said, "Don't bother, I haven't been interested in years." She seems glad to be free of the burden of it. I can't help but wonder just how many years she did it without interest, but I haven't asked her. You'd think I would have known, but apparently, I was oblivious. I take it as an opportunity to reexamine both my assumptions and my inferences--about myself, about her, about sex, and about love.
I can't help but wonder just how many years she did it without interest, but I haven't asked her
I am only 53 and my wife is fifty one, and we both have changed, for sure. Its probably more important now, than when we were younger, to be willing to express ourselves to each other, in an honest way. Even then, solutions are not always forthcoming.
Quote:
reexamine both my assumptions and my inferences--about myself, about her, about sex, and about love.
An atmosphere where she is free to express herself, would certainly help. Only then can you get a feel as to her true feelings. Without knowing her true feelings, any examination will be one sided.
Linear Mode
