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Well, first of all, i would like to thank you for reading my post and giving me some advise on this matter. My problem is, i have a bf of 4 yrs.
We love each other very much. The thing is, we'd only have sex once a month or so though we're staying together. He claims that his tired most of the time due to work. He used to have a gf who has double D or E cup and she's very tiny in size. During the first year of our relationship, he did laughed about me being "FLAT" and he meant it because he has only seen big breasts women. I was hurt, but i wasn't insecure of my body as i'm tall and slender.
He apologized upon his act that night and he came out honest about how his sexual life with his EX has been e.g thrilling staircase and the number of times perdays of sex they'd have.
I appreciate his honesty but sex was never good. He loves me very much and always praises me. We'd argue and i would give out words like how terrible his sex were and why can't he do it like how he does his ex.
It's been yrs now. We're never disloyal but i feel uncomfortable whenever i'm doing it with him. I've always been very open towards him about what position i dislike but he has always just DO it for the sake of doing it.
I'm never insecure about my looks but when it comes to being with him, i felt that the scar would never go away as i'm always thinking about the moment of him saying "you're FLAT just like other FLATS nearby our living area..hahaha..yours really compact! UNLIKE what i've seen".
We'd fake it and we KNOW we're faking it. I'd find porn cd's of his with busty girls. I can't enjoy intimate moments with him ever because of those TRUE experience and jokes he used to make of me, no matter how many times he's said sorry.
Do guys really NOT want it just because they are really tired? or are we just too hurt of our arguments? or is he just hiding the fact that he likes fuller women? We plan our futures together but i fear that one day we might cheat when we're married JUST because we're TIRED..? we have no other issues other than being in bed....
Well, first of all, i would like to thank you for reading my post and giving me some advise on this matter. My problem is, i have a bf of 4 yrs.
We love each other very much. The thing is, we'd only have sex once a month or so though we're staying together. He claims that his tired most of the time due to work. He used to have a gf who has double D or E cup and she's very tiny in size. During the first year of our relationship, he did laughed about me being "FLAT" and he meant it because he has only seen big breasts women. I was hurt, but i wasn't insecure of my body as i'm tall and slender.
He apologized upon his act that night and he came out honest about how his sexual life with his EX has been e.g thrilling staircase and the number of times perdays of sex they'd have.
I appreciate his honesty but sex was never good. He loves me very much and always praises me. We'd argue and i would give out words like how terrible his sex were and why can't he do it like how he does his ex.
It's been yrs now. We're never disloyal but i feel uncomfortable whenever i'm doing it with him. I've always been very open towards him about what position i dislike but he has always just DO it for the sake of doing it.
I'm never insecure about my looks but when it comes to being with him, i felt that the scar would never go away as i'm always thinking about the moment of him saying "you're FLAT just like other FLATS nearby our living area..hahaha..yours really compact! UNLIKE what i've seen".
We'd fake it and we KNOW we're faking it. I'd find porn cd's of his with busty girls. I can't enjoy intimate moments with him ever because of those TRUE experience and jokes he used to make of me, no matter how many times he's said sorry.
Do guys really NOT want it just because they are really tired? or are we just too hurt of our arguments? or is he just hiding the fact that he likes fuller women? We plan our futures together but i fear that one day we might cheat when we're married JUST because we're TIRED..? we have no other issues other than being in bed....
I love what you had in purple. On your question, why don't you talk to him? Ask why he likes bustier women. Don't be afraid. Jump in and fix it, or break up. If he denies the cds, show them to him.
Men often say stupid things, and often men say it, forget about it and go on with life. yes really. He was a jerk for saying some of that, but he did, at this point, you have to either forgive and go on, or leave him,
The fact he is there means he wants to be. Counseling may help if you want to make it work.
Men seem to fall into categories (maybe women do too) -- some guys go for sports, some for cars, some for women, and some for various combinations of those. Also, some guys get turned on by women's rear ends, some love big breasts, some love legs, and some go for combinations.
What bothers me more than anything is his rudeness to you. Is his body totally perfect? What if you laughed at and made fun of his hairyness or his acne-scarred back or his receding hairline? If anything, he should treat you like a queen and buy clothes to dress you like one because you can wear anything and still look good--horizontal stripes or huge florals or wild prints. If you had big breasts, by the time you're in your 40s, or even before, they would begin to sag--and I'll bet that wouldn't please him at all.
Maybe it's time to find something "wrong" with him and pick on him about it. Oh, but then you've fallen down to his level. Better not.
Better idea -- Maybe it's time to move on and find a guy who will appreciate you for the lovely lady you are.
It's been four years....and the relationship has really deteriorated into a sexual hell. Sexual hell means the whole relationship sucks, don't kid yourself.
Life....it's about learning lessons and finding out how we can be really happy as we can be by living, learning, and growing. How miserable everyone would be if we had the same personalities and activities as we had when we were teenagers.
You guys aren't married...move on. Dare to ditch unhappiness.
I agree with the counseling. I've been married for 17 years and we rarely go a day without sex much less a month. He was an azz to make the flat chested comment. Unless you were really stuffing your bra he knew this when he met you. Its wrong to bring it up now if he is that shallow.
My wife is small chested, and trust me while I do like large breasts as well they have their own advantages. Such as old man gravity doesn't play his cruel tricks as you age like he will with a well endowed woman.
Personally I see a lot of issues (His issues, not yours), many of them haven't been vocalized. Get counseling for him or with him as a couple or send him packing.
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