almost every sentence you wrote contains a potential reason for struggling with reaching orgasm.
you are somewhat inexperienced concerning sex
you state you might be impatient
your sex drive is low now
you are frustrated
direct cl!toral stim seems too intense
youve been on meds
you claim you are a prude, so you have inhibitions
you wont masturbate
any one of these might hurt a womans chances. taken together, its not hard to believe you are having problems.
im not saying you are wrong... some of these are situational, such as being inexperienced... some are your own doing, such as refusal to self stimulate.
you need to be more patient, understand your body better, be willing to fail and enjoy making love for what it is and what it can be (not that im minimizing the release youll have with an orgasm), and give it time.
the meds alone could hurt this. the mental frustration causes a cycle where failure to hit the big O causes more frustration and more difficulty.
if i know anything about pleasing my partner, its due to patience, open communication, and education.
that you wont self stim is disappointing. until you know your own body, you cannot expect your partner to understand it. while most men can hit orgasm through some version of "push, pull, repeat"... its just hasnt been my experience that women can be grouped all together into one "do this, then this" category. sure, cl!toral stim is often a key player, but some like more pressure, some softer, some feel "g spot" stimulation, some dont, and there are a number of other errogenous zones that a woman may or may not respond to... meaning each woman needs to find her own zones... not to mention that the potentially most important errogenous zone is the mind. i can do all the "right" things that my partner likes and desires... if her mind cannot be lost in the moment, nothing may work.
i posted once about what things id do to ensure my partner hits orgasm in this thread.
http://www.askmehelpdesk.com/adult-s...tml#post906239
now, understand this is what works for my partner...and there are a lot of details left out... i know how she wants to be kissed and touched... but the part about getting her body relaxed and in the moment... not just wanting sex, but being ready for it, sensitized to it... took a long time for me to understand. traditional "foreplay" (kissing, petting, necking) in my opinion just doesnt do the job alone. there can be mental issues at play too.
buy and read "she comes first" (amazon.com, barnes and noble, etc)... a good book about oral stim and overall how the female body responds to stimulation. its not a dirty book. its not a disgusting read. oral done "poorly" to what your needs are can do nothing. done well, in touch with what you might like, can be great alone or as a precursor to intercourse.
also, look for books on massage or sensual touch. not hard to find these, and his taking a little time to sensitize your skin can make a difference.
also positions can make a difference. you on top puts more pressure where you need it without being too much, most likely. my partner cannot hit orgasm in the missionary position. not with me. not anyone before me. it just isnt the right position and stimulation for her. on top, with a "rowing" motion, forward and back, is much better for her, or other side positions where she may need to self stim during intercourse... these can all work for her while missionary doesnt.
so.. you need to be patient, you need to educate, you need to talk, and you need to believe it can happen. it takes work sometimes. the great news is once you get a "win" your body responds by "believing" it can happen again, and your body begins to anticipate that imprinted path... meaning your body will have heightened sensitivity, "knowing" that the path hes taking to pleasure you and where it leads. instead of frustration begetting more frustration, positive anticipation will further allow you to let go and lose yourself, which again heightens your experience.
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