I have being going out with my boyfriend for about 9 months and we have being having sex for about 5 months. My boyfriend always asks if I feel anything after we've had sex, but I always say it feels nice being so close to someone, and that I enjoy giving him pleasure. He say's that all his friends girlfriends orgasm, but I know that a lot of my (girl) friends fake it because they think the guy will like them more. I have heard that most females don't orgasm until their in their late 20's, is that true?

Any suggestions, or positions; most helpful, in the hope of a orgasm!

Well your girl friends are thinking wrong. Ive never heard that the guy will like you more because they orgasm. I suppose a man himself get pleasure out of seeing the girl orgasm but nothing about liking them more.
Also about having an orgasm in their late 20's is rubbish too.

Personally I think women orgasm during oral sex not full intercourse.

Are you getting oral sex before intercourse?

There are people I know, I won't say who. That does orgasm together at the same time. Yes, during intercourse. There is relaxation and foreplay. If there is no foreplay then chanches are there will be no orgasm. Also, A big percentage of women only orgasm through stimulation of the cliterous which usually only happens with the help of fingers.

Joe

What Jesushelpers76 is saying is correct.
And besides the finger - there's the tongue ;)

I enjoy oral sex, but I think its just a bit icky. I mite try a vibrator!
I don't mind giving oral , but I find the taste of sperm pretty rank.

Why do think its abit icky?
Esp if he enjoys giving you oral sex, then just enjoy even more so yourself :)

I don't like the taste of sperm either, that's yukky.

Hi, diane,
At 64 yrs old, I've had my share of sexual experiences!
Not having an orgasm until after the late 20's is not true.
If you are not having one with this boyfriend, then maybe it's time to move on. If he is this "experienced" with the ladies sexually, then he should know what to do for you to have one, too!
If you wish to try, then just relax. Relaxing is the best way, because having an orgasm is in the mind. Sex is a "mind thing". If you aren't ready, then it won't happen, most of the time, for you.
My own personal feelings is that your relationship with your boyfriend has to get much better before you will be happy with it. He is not as experienced as he says he is!
Talk with him, relax, and just let yourself go, not worrying about it. It will happen for you, and I do wish you the best.

there's no one rule fits all. And no, you don't need to be carded/ID'd to get an orgasm.

and a guy might have his ego boosted thinking he's getting you off. Wait for the deflation if he finds you are faking it. Better to be real... give him a chance to figure it out. Give some suggestions. Try some things. if he thinks what he is doing is getting you off he will do it again next time.

finding out what can self stim you to orgasm can help.

I dated one girl who could practically orgasm in tight pants. It was sooooo easy to get her to climax, and yes, I know girls can fake it. This girl would never have stayed in a relationship where sex was unsatisfying. Intercouse could almost always get her off w the right position and stimulations. She liked oral enough, but intercourse was her thing.

another who could never get off orally (uncomfortable w the idea mentally), but would w intercourse some of the time, not all of the time, not none of the time. Hey, you get into the baseball hall of fame bating 30%. =) she also was strongly aroused by g spot, whether self or mate's fingers.

another who can get off most of the time orally unless her mind just isn't in it. Some of the time w intercourse, not as much as shed like. Never w g spot stim the way the other was. Never w strong cl_t stim the way the first one was. More often when she was on top.

so there's a lot to mess around with.

and what stim the guy doesn't always (sometimes never) stim the girl. The one position that is an absolute guarantee to get me over the edge is one of the least likely positions to get my girl over. Flippin irony.

so don't accept that you cannot have an orgasm. Also, don't put a ton of pressure on the situ. Explore for fun and find what feels good. If your guy isn't a gracious lover and willing to help you, well, not very healthy then.

Oh... and yeah, I'm a guy so I'm biased. But the oral sex / sperm taste thing was brought up in this thread so one guys opinion -

Had a discussion once in college with about 15 girls and me, the only guy in the room (friends w about half of them and dating one), about oral sex and they all wanted the know the difference in sensation when finished off in hand versus mouth.

All I could say was a great bj ending in hand was almost always outdone by a mediocre bj ending in mouth. The sensation is much more intense in the latter. Similar to the decrease in stim by withdrawl in intercourse just before climax.

I'm not saying you SHOULD do one or the other or neither. And I'm not saying ending in hand is bad in any way. And ill bet diff guys like diff things. There's other things you can do while oral that can really help. Just an fyi, since finishing orally in mouth was mentioned.

KP2171 sorry didn't the grip of what your saying.
Correct me if I'm wrong - so a guy (well most guys) would prefer it if their partner would swallow? Instead of pulling out before they came or spitting?

faking it = big no no!!

If you don't work with your boyfriend, how do you expect him to ever get it right? Every woman is going to react to things differently. I had a girlfriend like kp not to long ago... you just look at her the right way and she will orgasm! On the other hand, my current girlfriend is a bit more difficult. But you need to open the lines of communication... don't be afraid to give him a hand.

However, if you don't know what you like yet, then its time to take matters into your own hands... you mentioned getting a vibrator. Great idea! You need to learn your body first... if YOU don't know what you like, how can you expect someone else to? If you don't have a vibrator, use your God-given tools for the job. You just need to start getting comfortable having orgasms. Make it s daily thing... eventually, you will be able to conrtol your ability to have one easily.

You need to be comfortable in your own mind, too. You can't be worried or scared or nervous or anything like that... all those emotions will kill your chances.


Oh, and did I hear someone say that if he can't get it done that maybe its time to move on?? Good god, no! Geez... give the poor guy a break! Just because he hasn't been able to give his girlfriend an orgasm yet doesn't mean he should be kicked to the curb!

Many women will agree with you there. I've noticed during some talk sessions that women think that the taste and consistency varies when guys drink alcohol, even eat different things. Some said that it tasted so much like Ajax scouring powder it made them gag. (Sorry guys, but we still love you anway... )

And, let's not talk about the mind-altering drugs some take.

To avoid the dissapointment during an otherwise wonderful tet-a-tet, try using a condom when doing this, it will make you feel better and both of you will still have fun.

WOW, I just got some new smileys! Like my new car?

(not a tale... trust me! It really works!! )

Oh Diane, Diane, Diane !

If you and your boyfriend are " having sex " - No wonder you haven't had an orgasm.

"Making love" on the other hand, takes all day, all evening and hopefully - all night.

As a male of the species of more years than I like to admit ( if 62 is higher than 21 - Why do I still think I'm 18?? Lol) - forget the BJ's and swallowings etc etc ad nausium. Orgasm is exactly the wrong word and attitude.

The proper term - when you think carefully about it is "climax". It is the culmination of a (possibly working) day apart - thinking about each other. The "love making" begins with your first kiss and carries on throughout the evening - whether in a dance hall, restaurant , concert , art gallery - wherever - you should be "flirting" with each other all night long - building up those feelings. "Maybe's" and "Promises", "Possiblies" and "Definites", "I wills" and "I mights".

The main pre-occupation of the male should be being able to hold back his orgasm until his partner is ready as well - and if he can hold back long enough for a female "multple orgasm" - he is getting the idea.

"Love making" is not "giving her 6 inches" - it is giving himself - as she should be giving to him - it is not essentially a physical act but a total physical and mental act.

The BJ's and oral sex are not "foreplay" - the foreplay is what you should have been doing all evening - oral sex can be or is part of the build up to the final "CLIMAX" - and forget about swallowing - the only way to climax is to be - (excuse the vernacular) "Balls Deep" and trying to get deeper and hanging on to each other for dear life. - and if he's done the job right - there is no way he is going to get out until she has finished with him. What is known in the animal kingdom as being "dog knotted" - here in parts of the UK as being "Fanny clamped" and medically known as "vaginismus".

So the final word is the climax is not something you chase - it is something that catches up with you -- AND HOW

The final, final word - Have fun! - It is after all the best Fun you can have without laughing - though even this is allowed.

You should talk to him about what you like and dislike.
If you don't now what you like or dislike you need to do a little self exploration.
It will make you and him happier.

BUT -- remember it is NOT a competition or quiz - make this part of the foreplay - if you don't try it - how are you going to know if you like it!

On a side note as far as the taste of semen:Slightly sweet due to fructose. The taste of semen tends to change slightly from person to person. The diet greatly effects the taste and smell of semen.More importantly Chlamydia, gonorrhea, HIV and non gonococcal urethritis can all be transmitted through semen, so use a condom to contain the semen or be sure of your partners sexual health status.

as a father of a naughty, curious, and busy two year old, I guess my wife and I are just having sex and chasing orgasms. =)

ah well.

I certainly agree about the metal states that complement and heighten the sexual experience... it is certainly better the more you can get mentally "lost"... but like I said... sometimes a little hurried, imperfect, and not completely romantic sex can get you through the night.

and to those who think those are just the words of another guy being a guy, well... there are reasons my wife wakes me up at 4:30am, when the house is still, the baby is asleep, and for a while at least, we can be together.

make love, have sex, climax, orgasm. Fail. Succeed. Try again. And again.

our favorite saying, when we are desperately trying to divert the baby and get some time alone:

"even false hope is still hope"

sometimes it works out in spite of you.

Lol, I was only able to read a couple of the remarks in this forum, but I have to say! ;) I was a bit of a late bloomer.. I don't know if there's any truth to that! But I was 26 or 27 when I first had the big O. And Im just going to be frank and to the point, try it under running water like the bathtub! That's how I had my first and from then on brainsex(SEX) was a breeze. Also I don't know if anyone told you, a woman on top is best thing for the big.. O
Another thing us late bloomers have our multipal orgasims, I guess good things do come from those who wait. Gl

Ok, I have just read all of the above posts and to be quite honest some are good and some not so much however I hop this will help.

Yes I am a guy and oh my god my girlfriend has loads of orgasms (no she doesn't fake - she will tell me if I am not doing it for her).

Start with the foreplay - not necessarily oral sex because you don't always need that, depending whether you like hard core or soft gentle its up to you but get yourself on top of him. Don't do the bouncing up and down thing because that will do it for him not you.

What you need to do is make sure you are naked so he can see your body, hold his chest and pull and push your body forward and backwards. If the sensations starts to go away, stop for a minute and then carry on. Tell him (yes tell him- men love being dominated) to push his pelvis up and touch your body at the same time.

Keep going forward and backwards for a while and eventually you will feel funny and BINGO - you have an orgasm.

REMEMBER - don't have the orgasm in mind because then you are trying to achieve something just let your body relax and close your eyes and focus on the movement and sensation.

I know this sounds weird coming from a guy but both my girlfriend and I are quite verbal about sex and we talk about everything good and bad.

It might not work every time, but the best way to know if you are ready to get on top is if the breathing is intense and fast because that sets the mood, making some noises works because that turns him on just as much.

Hope this helps!!