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I just want to know how possible it is for a gay guy to go straight because i have this friend who is actually my best friend and we both go way back from school and now we work together...we do practically everything together; work, party, gym, tennis, you name it, except sleep together. He has been claiming to be interested in me during those years we've been friends but its almost as if his gears changes time to time..so like some times he shows his interest in me and other times it goes back to just being friends. this has gone on for years but ive always had my suspicions that he had this gay thing to him which he always denied when i asked him. ive seen the way he behaves with other gay guys and most of his guy friends are gay...he enjoys flirting with them and a few occasions ive seen him go back to his room with them even though he said that they just wanted to spend the night because they were tired. right now he's started back on that same trend where he's really getting emotional and all about me and he wants to be with me. I am confused. I'm beginning to have these feelings for him that i never thought i would feel and i dont know what to do....he gets mad when he sees others guys interested in me and right now he's being very cold as a result of that...for a few weeks now we have not been as close as we've always been and hardly even communicating....what do you think?do you think he can change?
Yes, he can change; make sure you don't. Find out what it is about women that he dislikes. Why is it that he isn't attracted to them. Then, when the time is right, go deeper. Was he abused as a child?
I'm actually female......i know that he's been asking me to be with him for a long time but like i said he gets into different modes now and then...like when he brought it up in the past i was dating someone else and i told him that i couldn't be with him in that way and that we have such a great friendship that i can almost see him as a brother to me and maybe turning this into a relationship might change everything. now after so long im finally feelin that way for him because i am no longer in a relationship for over a year....Personally i dont know how long he's gonna take to get back to himself....but im trying really hard to speak to him but he duzn't want to come out and speak much about it...he gives me that cold shoulder allt he time and it hurts me.....one thing he's always said before that once he gets hurt once he duz not turn back...and he got really mad that he saw me having lunch wiht just a friend of mine just casually.....not like we had something going me and him but funny how he reacted towards that...he got really jealous....what do you think i can do to bring him back?any suggestions?
i dont think he was ever abused as a child but if ever he never spoke about it.....everytime i ask him when we go out why is it that he only flirts with guys and not females...he says that he duz but i just dont see it....but he's covering up and i can read right thru him.
I'm actually female......i know that he's been asking me to be with him for a long time but like i said he gets into different modes now and then...like when he brought it up in the past i was dating someone else and i told him that i couldn't be with him in that way and that we have such a great friendship that i can almost see him as a brother to me and maybe turning this into a relationship might change everything. now after so long im finally feelin that way for him because i am no longer in a relationship for over a year....Personally i dont know how long he's gonna take to get back to himself....but im trying really hard to speak to him but he duzn't want to come out and speak much about it...he gives me that cold shoulder allt he time and it hurts me.....one thing he's always said before that once he gets hurt once he duz not turn back...and he got really mad that he saw me having lunch wiht just a friend of mine just casually.....not like we had something going me and him but funny how he reacted towards that...he got really jealous....what do you think i can do to bring him back?any suggestions?
Thank you for critical confirmation that you are female--that changes my initial impression; my apologies.
He sounds like he wants to be with you. Like sGt. HarDKorE said, he may be bi, however.
You are now sounding as though you are having feelings for him. If so, then perhaps you need to give the relationship a try after all. HOWEVER I strongly recommend playing the "do you have an attraction to men?" card in a gentle manner first. If it is something you don't want in your relationship, you need and deserve the answer.
he's bisexual from his behaviour with you, can you live with that if you were in a relationship with him-there is a good chance he would want to be with men even if he was with you.
we are both the same age 25, he's just a few months older.....we get along so very well...we share everything together except maybe what he's been hiding away from me....i am willing to give this a try even tho i have my suspicions but he refuses to communicate with me now since this happened....i try very hard to get him to come out to speak and to atleast be himsefl again but he's making it very hard...and it hurts me...he hardly speaks to me now...we play tennis together most days and he hardly utters a word....this is so not like him...i was hoping that he wudve gotten over this eventually but its been about 4weeks already since he's behaviour has changed...do you think he will come out of it eventually even tho it takes him longer than i wudve thought? or do you think he's just created this wall where he's decided that he duzn't want to do this anymore....? i am confused, i dont know what to think and im afraid after all this years it took me to feel this way that he's pulling back now...
i definitely want to give it a try now but one thing i do know is that if we have to do this i woudlnt' be happy if he also wants to be with other guys as well..do you think there's a possibility he can change...do you think there's anythign i can do to help him come out of this mode that he is in and anythign i can do to help him from being gay? i may be askin for the impossibles but i would like to know the opinion of others on this.