first of all, i'm not againts porn, i do watch it too. my bf does it also. problem for me is when he watches it right next to me, in my own bed, while i'm asleep. i've seen a dozen of times porn sites, and clips of sexy dressed women, in my computer browsing history. i've confronted him once i woke up in the middle of the night and he was on his side of a bed with a bunch of porn going on. i've told him i do not want him to watch it while he's with me in my bed. he can watch it at his place when i'm not there. otherwise we'll watch it together. he became defensive but promised it won't happend again and he'll reduce the amout of watching it.

since the trust was already low in our relationship, thanks to his mistakes, i needed him not to break this promise. just today, right after he woke me up to have sex, and we had it, i found out he watched it again. i confronted him again and he said it was just a few sites, no biggy. i've told him it's about the trust and all, and he just said i'm overreacting. he could've deleted the history but he didn't wanna hide it from me. he said he didn't actually watched it, he just crossed over them in a few minutes.

i'm sick of this. we've been together for 2 years and he still does the things that he knows they annoy me. is this a valid reason for a breakup? and should i do it, even though i love him and he says he's trying and is sorry.

help please. is he an addict? he says we have a great sex and there's no lack of it.

liz28

If your going keep arguing over him watching porn then maybe you need to find someone else. You have a problem with him watching it at your house while your asleep but he keeps doing it anyway. Look at it this way, at least he isn't out cheating on you. You have to decide what you want to do and if this relationship is worth having.

If he admitted he is addicted to porn then maybe he can join a support group but it is going take time and won't happen over night.

Gemini54

Well it's not like you're saying don't watch porn - you're saying don't watch it while you're in bed with me. I think that's reasonable. You could be saying don't smoke while you're in bed with me and that would be entirely reasonable as well.

First of all, if he can't control his porn viewing to the point where he has to watch it in bed while you're asleep, then he's got an issue. Secondly, if he is specifically doing something that you've asked him not to do because it bothers you, then that's the real problem. He's not listening and putting his 'need' for porn ahead of your very reasonable request not to watch it while you're both in bed.

He says he's sorry and he's really trying - well ask him to prove it. Get rid of the lap top. Put it in a another room. Bed is for sleeping and real sex. Get his personal porn out into another room.

You say you can't trust him and that he annoys you but the sex is great. Clearly there are other issues as well.

I guess ultimately you need to decide - which is more important, trust or good sex?

pfanatic

long story short. he broke a promise, the one he's already broken. he just forgot about it. what's behind the promise is not important for now.
however i can't trust him after that. it's been two weeks without sex and it's the longest time in two yeras we hadn't have any. i just can't as i don't find him that attractive anymore. left alone i do have a sex drive.
he told me he can't even masturbate anymore and he's always had a very high sex drive. must be we're both feeling guilty.
should we "force" love making? maybe things'll get better like that. for the last half month it feels like we're friends and there's a distance between us. any suggestions please?

bluerose

Do nothing. Each take some time to yourselves, think about what you really want from a relationship and make some serious decisions about what you both want to happen here. Trust is needed. Lack of trust is time and energy wasting.

pfanatic

long story short. he broke a promise, the one he's already broken. he just forgot about it. what's behind the promise is not important for now.
however i can't trust him after that. it's been two weeks without sex and it's the longest time in two yeras we hadn't have any. i just can't as i don't find him that attractive anymore. left alone i do have a sex drive.
he told me he can't even masturbate anymore and he's always had a very high sex drive. must be we're both feeling guilty.
should we "force" love making? maybe things'll get better like that. for the last half month it feels like we're friends and there's a distance between us. any suggestions please?
(i'm sorry i've posted this in a wrong topic before).

Synnen

What kind of relationship do you have if you don't have trust?

What's the point in trying to force sex, when that's the ONE place a woman usually NEEDS trust in order to relax enough to enjoy it?

bigblack

Perhaps you guys could find a better way to communicate rather than punish each other with the 'no sex' punishment. Sounds like you wanted to teach him a lesson and now you're both suffering and turning a problem into a much larger problem. I think you both should sit down and talk about what's really bothering you before 'forcing' sex on each other ... that big elephant in the room can't hide behind the curtains.

talaniman

If you can't work together to rebuild the trust, whats the point in the relationship period?

Without other details into the problem, any advice is a shot in the dark, but even if you can't forget this breach in trust, and forgive and work to get beyond this, the relationship is over whether you have sex, or not.

Better start talking honestly, right now.

ohsohappy

You've already posted this question once in the Adult Sexuality Forum.
Please keep posts on the same topic together.
They will peobably either be combined or one will be removed.

Anyway, I wish you the best of luck on figuring out your situation.