At Ask Me Help Desk you can ask questions in any topic and have them
answered for free by our experts. To ask questions or participate in
answering them you must register for a free account. By registering you
will be able to:
Get free answers from experts in any of our 300+
topics.
My situation is a little different because I don't believe my boyfriend has an addiction. I want to know what it is though. I've caught my boyfriend on two different occasions looking at porn and he knows how upset I am about the whole porn thing and he promised he would not do it again. My problem now is that I found out he subscribed to a live porn site where you interact with couples and singles and tell them what to do and they do it. He says it wasn't all the time I am home a lot so I know he doesn't have that many instances to do it but his reasoning on it is that he just likes watching people have sex. I told him if it was that innocent why didn't he tell me about it and now take it too a personal level. I feel he cheated. I do want to forgive him because I know he's truly sorry but how many times will it take for me to believe him when he promised twice before and did it a third time and even worse this time. Please I need some advice because I want to get over this but don't know how.
This appears to be an addiction ( i know you dont agree). Find out what he wants, if its sex then have more often, it keeps urge to watch porn at bay
I dont think he has cheated on you, its just that habit making him watch porn...
isabella1, My situation is a little different because I don't believe my boyfriend has an addiction. I want to know what it is though. I've caught my boyfriend on two different occasions looking at porn and he knows how upset I am about the whole porn thing and he promised he would not do it again.
Sounds like mommy will punish her child for being bad. Not a good setting for dialog.
Quote:
My problem now is that I found out he subscribed to a live porn site where you interact with couples and singles and tell them what to do and they do it.
Wow, The toys they have today amazes me. All we had were Playboy and Hustler.
Quote:
He says it wasn't all the time I am home a lot so I know he doesn't have that many instances to do it but his reasoning on it is that he just likes watching people have sex.
Young guys love it!!!
Quote:
I told him if it was that innocent why didn't he tell me about it and now take it too a personal level.
Knowing you don't like it and he does, he thought he could keep it from you and not upset you, but you "caught" him.
Quote:
I feel he cheated.
No he didn't! But you feel that way, and there is the rub.
Quote:
I do want to forgive him because I know he's truly sorry
Sorry for being caught, and upsetting you but that cheating thing is a stretch. That's your problem to deal with not his. He doesn't think he's cheating, I can assure you. A man engaging his fantasy, and curiosity is NOT cheating on you. OKAY!!!
Quote:
but how many times will it take for me to believe him when he promised twice before and did it a third time and even worse this time.
A very unreasonable promise he made to assuage your feelings, and keep you from being upset. Where was the honest dialog and compromise adults make who love and understand each other?? The fact he has to hide what he does is a testament that your position has no compromise and is that fair. By the way you weren't supposed to catch him.
Quote:
Please I need some advice because I want to get over this but don't know how.
How about some honest talking and listening and giving him some privacy and stop catching him like a little kid. Talk about how you feel and understand how he feels, respect each other and understand your issues and compromise where you both can be happy. Telling some one don't do this, is almost a guarantee they will do it. Don't think I'm putting the problem all on you as he has to learn to express how he really feels about things and not just go along with whatever you say only to turn around and do it anyway. I guess it was easier to say yes dear than get into a conflict, which is the heart of your problem. Talk and listen to each other, without judgements the solution to this problem. Compromise will bond you.
Isabella You can not make someone be or have the morals and values that you choose. You must let him make his own choices, without fear of being reprimanded by you, give him the freedom to be who he is and to do what he wants to do. This is truly loving someone. Then it is up to you to decide, if you want to be married, to the real him, not the one that you have created. peace
i just had this problem with my bf.. and he said the only reason he watched it once without me is because he likes the fantasy of the girls dressing up and playing role reversal and was to embarrassed to ask me if id try it with him..
Ask him what he find so fasinating about porn, and how you could turn him on just as much as the girls in porn.
peace
Linear Mode
