Okay... (here is a little background) My boyfriend and I don't get to see eachother as much anymore than when we first started our relationship. i lived in the same town as him, but at the beginning of april, I moved an hour away for college. I visit him every weekend (friday morning to sunday night) and he comes to visit me every wednesday. We have an amazing sex life. We do some crazy things... lots of advanced positions.... lots of tying up... things like that. We are also crazy mad in love. He is the most perfect man for me and he tells me that I am perfect for him and the only one for him. We even talk about getting married, having kids and growing old together.

Well... last weekend while i was using his computer to check my email.... i clicked on the address box to type in yahoo.... and i clicked the wrong address that was already in the history... and it was porn... So, then i looked in his history... and he watches soooo much porn. There were so many different sites... like glory holes and asians and housewifes... and crap like that.

I haven't brought it up to him because i don't know if its that big of a deal. I love him so much and he loves me... but after seeing that he views porn... i am really ashamed in myself almost. I feel like im not good enough for him. I feel as if he is cheating on me. It makes me very upset... and it hurts so much. If i am the only one for him... why does he insist on watching porn, especially if we have a great sex life? I don't understand... and its driving me insane.

I don't know what to do. I am afraid to talk to him but i know i need to. I just don't know what to say.

Help.

letmetellu

Ask him why he does look a porn, Get his answer and if it is not a good enough answer for you to accept him looking then explain to him how it makes you feel. I am not sure this will make him stop but it will probably make him hide the fact from you that he is still looking and you will not like that either. Then you might have to understand that it is just something that some guys do. He may feel a need to look at it as he masturbates. Now if he tells you he does not masturbate then dump him because if he will lie to you about that he will lie about anything.

brazygirl08

A lot of men look at porn... I mean I don't think he does it because you are bad. Maybe he just misses you Talk to him about it, tell him what happened and how you found it

snapdragon

ok, i love this, because i just went through a very similar situation. I found porn on our computer a while back and it disgusted me so much that i came to him with the problem and i think i did it wrong and he started to hide it. we got rid of the computer for almost a year and we just got it again recently. well come to find he had some sites that i ran across one day and i decided to bring it up in a different way this time. i sat down with him on the couch and said "Ok if you get to please yourself when i'm in the shower or at work then i have a request for you.I want you to invite me in sometime and i would like you to have sex with me at least three times a week". now it seems the only time he looks at the stuff is when I can't have sex with him for female reasons. not only did what i say please him, i don't get mad when i find a few sites on the computer because i don't feel like i'm being replaced and we have more sex. I think the key is don't make him feel bad about it because then instead of stopping, he'll just hide it from you. and i also had to come to the realization that guys just have to look at that crap. unfortunately they all have some pervert in them.

1badchoice

Men are very visually stimulated. And they think of sex on average once every 2 seconds (read somewhere..can't remember where). The thing is..........yes he looks at porn. He is not cheating, asking you to do things you don't want. He is using this as an outlet to the sexual feelings he has when your not around. You might try joining him on some of this. If your not comfortable.........that's fine. Just don't box him in. He will only be forced to lie, hide, sneak, cause mistrust. This porn is another form of fantasy. Most young, healthy men masturbate daily. It is a drive to them like women get a drive for a child. Not always the easiest to explain but shouldn't be punished. Don't over-react.

lilvegangrl

Thanks, all of you guys have good points. He pretty much does hide it from me in my eyes... if he is viewing it while i am away, i guess he is just trying to release himself. He has never looked/watched porn with me there. He hasn't even brought it up.

Its just the fact that he tells me that he loves me and im the only one he has eyes for and wants to be with... but when i think of men viewing porn, i think that they are visualizing that they are there... I could be wrong, but it hurts me a lot.

It could also be that i have had trust issues in the past. My exboyfriend and I broke up because he was cheating on me the whole time with his exgirlfriend. It was a really messy situation. I had no clue it was going on at all until she messaged me to let me know.

I trust my current boyfriend more than i have trusted anyone... but i am still not to the point of complete trust. Do you think that him viewing porn is affecting me because of my issues with my last boyfriend?

sky_is_grey

This is actually quite simple. Guys do like porn, its a way for them to fantasize and to reach orgasm their own way. You see, porn to a guy is just a way to release when they are (usually) all alone. It's hardly ever used to replace someone. I wouldn't worry about it one bit, he doesn't ask you to watch it with him or make you dress up the women in the videos and pictures, so really its a personal thing.

I wouldn't be too hard on him about it. You can mention that you now know that he watches porn, but I'd just mention also that you can understand WHY he watches porn, and, that if there's something in the porn that he is particuarly interested in, you can likely make that happen as well...he will LOVE that.

All in all, usually porn for a guy is just a personal and selfish (in a good way) of reaching orgasm by themselves. Its not quite as healthy as just using his imagination to masturbate to. But all guys do masturbate and they actually enjoy it because there usually isn't anyone there to judge him, he can just be himself and enjoy. Don't worry about it, I guarantee his feelings are no diferent for you.

smoothy

Guys are visual, they like porn. Like 99% of guys anyway. Don't sweat it unless he can't get it up for you without extra stimulation then he has an issue.

kyrazbak

Its quite normal for you to be jelous.. You want to feel like you are the only one that he looks at in a sexual way... However, like Smoothy said most guys are visual... Act like you didnt see it on his computer... Start off by maybe looking at porn with him and see what he thinks of that...You may enjoy it to... If its totally not your thing and you are against it and are offended by it, then talk with him...

xglamorousx

i live with my boyfriend, and we are very sexually active, but the thing is when i went to go out the one night he asked me what the code was to unlock the adult channels on the satellite, they are blocked due to small children and the remote control dont mix.. i felt verrrrrrrrry oddly about this, because i think, if he is to masturbate, why not think of me..so we got into an argument and i ended up giving him the code anyways. i couldnt sleep and i didnt feel i was sexy to him, so i solved my own problem..heres how i did it.. the easiest way to solve the problem is.. record yourself doing things for him or take pictures ...at least he is thinking of you and ull be able to rest easier. it worked for me.. <3 not to mention we feel much more comfortable with each other & if your in love, you shouldnt be ashamed for any reason to do anything for someone else..especially if your farther away than in the past.