Please help..Im 25 years old and totally in love with my boyfriend in everyway...everything is perfect exept the fact that he never wants sex...he never initiates it either...he works nights and 16 hour days so I know hes tierd most of the time...however I only ask or try to have sex when I know hes a bit rested and still hes not too ready! What do I do?? I know hes attracted...he does get an errection all the time...hes all over me with kisses and hugs...he went to the dr and got tested and he does have a low sex drive...but come on hes only 30 years old...what can I do? I don't want to leave him...I know hes not gay because I have seen him act sexual before ...really onto me ...but thats sooo rare...he never goes down on me either...help

thanks

milankanilu

i think u both need some space....i mean u guys can go for some kind of holiday.....take rest and make him fresh....it will help him to gain his interest as well as confident.....

bones3

thanks

dbean

Your situation sounds EXACTLY like mine which I posted about here:

http://www.askmehelpdesk.com/adult-s...tml#post334709

except it sounds like we are even younger than you guys. This scares me. I don't want things to be this way forever. I'm sorry I don't have an answer for you- I wish I did. It just makes me feel better that there are other girls facing the same problems because everyone I ask for advice is baffled.

bones3

Hang in there if hes really worth it...By the way has he been tested at the dr? My boyfriend has had some blood tests done and they found that he has a low testostorone count which means there is something wrong that drs are trying to look into...it may be hes pituatory gland so they are running more tests...keep in touch and I will let you know what happens

mrgoal522

i can tell u my advise from me being a guy, but always remember every ones different, in my experience i have fallin for girls before and held off sex.... even tho sex is great there where past relationships where sex ruined my relationship it just goes down hill from there so maybe hes afriad for the same reason ( i may be wrong just thought id say what i have done as a guy )

dbean

He hasn't been to a doctor, but I've talked about it with him before. I think he's scared to face it. Please do let me know what happens. I wish I knew if it was emotional or physical- maybe it's both. How did you get your guy to see a doctor? Was he embarrased or was he okay with it?

dbean

How long did you hold out? Me and bones3 are both in quite long term relationships. This is sort of what I thought my guy was doing at first, but it's been over 3 years. If he's not comfortable opening up to me sexually by now, there's something wrong. We HAVE had really great sexual experiences which I know we both enjoy. He always says he WANTS to have sex but I think by now its a combo of the pressure to perform because it's become such a sensitive subject and possibly a physical/mental issue. Both of us have come to avoiding it at this point.

my2229

Is your relation based on sex?? If he don't want to then you should honor his request ans he should do for you.. Maybe sex ruined a prior relationship and now he wants to wait to be sure this one is the right one. Be patient if you really love him.

EnglishRose

I also have a simular problem. He went to the drs but they said he was fine. Our relationship is defo not based on sex. We are taking it slowly working on the problem.