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    vp8612's Avatar
    vp8612 Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Feb 1, 2007, 01:38 AM
    My boyfriend never wants to have sex
    My boyfriend and I have been dating for about 10 months now, and in the last month, it appears he never wants to have sex. I have a very strong sex drive, and would love to have sex everyday! Recently, I have been getting really upset with him, because I don't understand what has changed, if maybe he is unhappy or what. Its really been causing us problems in the last two weeks. So I decided I would back off, but he sends me mixed messages. Like he will intiate contact with me, but then stop, or say he doesn't want to have sex. And I get mad because I don't know what he really wants to do! I have even mentioned to him about contacting my doctor to see if their was a medicine to decease my sex drive, and he asked why would I do that. (I have been on birth control now for 5 years, so I don't think that will help decrease my sex drive!) He says his sex drive is just as strong as mine but we just like having sex at different times of the day. But the thing is I don't mind having sex anytime during the day, which I have told him this but he has to intiate it for me to know, since I am normally busy with school and work. Also, I wanted to add, after reading some of the post similar to mine, he hardly ever watches porn. Actually, I have never found porn. But he does like the hot chicks on TV in bathing suits.

    One thing that has changed in our relationship is how much we see of each other. Before December 2006, he worked 2nd shift about 45 minutes from where I live. So when he got off work, he come over and spent the night with me, then I would have to get up and go to class. Now we live together and have more of the same schedule, so we only go about 3-5 hours a day without being with each other.

    Well, that's about everything. Hopefully, you got an overview of what I am going through and can offer advice or thoughts on the situation.
    blondieinCAN's Avatar
    blondieinCAN Posts: 73, Reputation: 4
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    #2

    Feb 1, 2007, 01:51 AM
    I don't know why you added that you two spend/dont spend time together... do you think it involves the sex issue? Maybe he is getting too comfortable and maybe the spark is gone? So sex is less frequent? I was on birth control (depo shot) and it lessened my sex drive... a lot! And I was a sex addict too! Try it if you haven't already!
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
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    #3

    Feb 1, 2007, 06:11 AM
    An honest talk is the thing to do as he may take meds or be tired from work or the hot sex has cooled for a time and its time for more talking to get on the same page. It takes more than just physical love to make a relationship, and people have different drives. 10 months is not a lot of time together and maybe your just finding things out about each other. This happens when the relationship moves to fast. COMMUNICATE more and screw less.
    fhanya's Avatar
    fhanya Posts: 5, Reputation: 2
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    #4

    Feb 4, 2007, 03:56 PM
    I'm going threw the same thing but my boyfriend act like nothing is wrong he says he wants to have sex but we don't he knows the problem we have sex when I argue or get mad or depressed then he will initiate sex if I don't say nothing I don't get nothing and I feel bad to argue about sex I feel a man that lives with a woman should keep each other happy in and out the bedroom I'm glad I'm not the onlyone going threw this I really need to leave mine I've asked him to move out he won't he say he loves me but he's not satisfying me I get depressed its not worth it its plenty men out their who will treat us better

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