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TC303 · Apr 25, 2011, 12:03 PM

Me and my boyfriend have a pretty good relationship. We get along great with minimal fighting etc... We are young and like to party a lot and Its been an ongoing issue that he is only excited about sex when were drunk and/or on recreational substances. Obviously sex is more likely to happen when under the influence of drugs and alcohol but I would like to have sex on a regular basis otherwise! I have tried everything. Slinking around in revealing outfits, being suggestive over texts calls notes etc.. Sending dirty pics to put it on his mind for later but when it comes down to it have to practically beg and usually get rejected. Not only do I have needs but this also hurts myself esteem.
The second that a drop of alcohol or other substances enter his system he can't keep his hands off me! Were adults and have jobs and cannot be drinking etc just to keep a decent sex life! I need to figure out what's going on the rest of the time. Is it me? Am I not attractive To him sexually unless he's impaired? Maybe he has a testosterone level issue? I'm not sure... Any advice

CravenMorhead · Apr 25, 2011, 12:44 PM

Ask him? Honestly. It sounds like you have done everything but talk to him about this. Communication is key.

IF you can't talk about sex, you shouldn't be having it.
-- Synnen

HazelEyes94 · May 3, 2011, 04:01 PM

Well, personally I think that maybe there isn't anything wrong with you. May he feels a kind of way about himself and he hides it behind liquor. Maybe he has low self esteem or may just not enough to poke out his chest and say "Come here baby, we're having sex tonight" so I agree with CravenMorhea, because communication really is key.

TC303 · May 3, 2011, 04:20 PM

I agree. I did talk to him the other night about my concerns. We've talked before but he said he didn't realize just how strongly I felt about it. As it turns out, he does have some self esteem issues. He used to be a personal trainer and since getting out of that field he's not in the shape that he used to be in. I understand where he's coming from completely. Im the same way myself. He also has knee issues and gets tired and sore during his work day. Since our talk he has made more effort to work through the tiredness and become more intimate. I have made more effort in taking the role of initiating sex. Hopefully everything will work out OK!