My boyfriend never seem to find me sexy anymore. We've been together for 4 year and I don't expect it to be like when we first meet. But he never seems interested in me. Even when I make an effort (which I admit may be less than I should) Im a pretty open girlfriend and have tried dressing up for him but he would rather play with his mates on Xbox even when I stood in just heels and underwear in front of him. I myself am a bisexual so I offered to try a 3sum with another girl. But when I say let have a look to see if there are any girls out there that we both like again acts like he's not that interested. I feel like he thinks sex is a chore with me. He goes to strip clubs some time if he's away with work and looks at porn. Which is fine with me but he acts is that they turn him on way more than I ever could. I can understand 4 years living together there's not much he hasn't seen. I know that he never has to see these girls when there ill or looking tired it's the fantasy .But I also caught him on some dating websites (adult friend finder/f buddy.com and a bunch more) the other day which he lied about and said he was just look and he would never chat or meet any of these girls then turn out he had been at least talking to girls on them. He says that as far as went and I believe him but he just never makes me feel sexy enough for him. In the past my boyfriends have loved that I want to try new things or explore their fantasies .he never seems that keen Im not big headed but I know Im a pretty girl size 8 good butt small boobs (cant have everything we want) .other men seen more interested in me than he does. Any suggestions??

I wouldn't stand for him going to strip clubs or looking at porn. I don't let my boyfriend do it. Especially if your boyfriend doesn't want to have sex with you or even think your sexy. I would sit him down and talk to him. Your biggest mistake was to bring up the whole 3 sum thing cause even though your like that he might want it but on the other hand he might feel like you want it more than he does or he's scared he's going to hurt you. I've even seen it that the guy leaves his girlfriend for the other girl. Its bad!
About the dating sites you NEED to sit him down and talk to him about it and tell him you feel. And then you need to sit him down and tell him that you have feelings like how your not sexy enough for him. Communication is everything. My advice is to you also is that if he continues to be on those sites then you need to leave. Usually when a man is on there means he wants to move on... but who knows he might be trying to find another girl to have a 3sum with. That's why you need to talk to him... but get him to tell the truth and if he's not trying to find another girl to do that just talking to them and stuff I suggest you leave before he cheats on you and hurts you. That's my opinion.

Hard to say... guys like to see the female body... we are very visual. Watching porn etc are harmless diversions... I'll agree the dating websites is not right... thre is so much free porn out there... including amateurs photos why deal with dating sites.

Don't put it on yourself. If you take care of yourself big boobs or not really don't matter. Small ones have a charm of their own.

My wife's an A... I've dated up to Double D cups in the past.. Yeah I like big ones... but I like small ones too, and like I said... they have their own charm. And a nice butt... hmmmmmm I love a nice butt.

Keep in mind the initial fresh meat excitement wears off the first year or two... may even bottom out for a few and builds back to something fairly consistent for even decades...

I've been married for 19, yeah I love to see a nice female body... my wife even points out the outstanding breasts I miss to me. She knows I'm happy with her... but I'm a man... and men appreciate a good looking woman when they see one.

Remember we all rarely have the same libido at the same time... if we find a life partner with one that's close to our own... we are lucky. If not just hope its close enough to deal with.

I'm willing to bet there is another factor in play here you might not have considered yet. Does he have a job... how stable is that job... is it physically demanding... does he worry about getting laid off?

Has he even had a physical lately... maybe an onset of Diabetes or high blood pressure... depression. Lots of possible things here to consider.

But to reiterate, I'm not comfortable with the dating site thing. Too much can happen there... and really... you don't get to see that much in the way of photos.

Threesomes can be a dangerous thing... for some it works... others is can destroy an already shaky relationship. Yes I've had a couple bi-sexual girlfriends in the past... and they brought in other women they knew very well... in my case the relationships went sour over unrelated problems.

Talking is always a good thing... as Synnen loves to say."...if you can't talk...why are you sleeping with them."

I don't like the fact that he was looking at a dating website.

I doubt he would like it either if YOU did.

Are there other things gong on in his life right now? Stressful things?

Have you asked him what he does like to do in the bedroom?

I really don't think I would bring another woman into the mix... That's just me though. It can work for some couples, and some times it can't.

I would suggest talking to him about your concerns. Ask him NICELY to turn off the Xbox and speak to you about this.

When someone says "...but he just never makes me feel sexy enough for him," I have to wonder what it would take for the person to feel 'sexy enough'. More important than how he sees you is how you see yourself. It is always nice to get positive feedback from the person you care about, but it should be a mirror for how you feel about yourself. Don't let his actions or lack of them cause you to question how you feel about yourself.

It sounds as though he doesn't want to put the effort that is needed into keeping up the sexual aspect of the relationship. How is his work? Is there a lot stress or long hours to where he is looking to runaway from reality and not deal with 'home life'? How is the rest of the relationship? Does he make any effort in other areas to keep up the relationship or show affection?

I will be honest that for me the dating sites and the lying about them would cause a lot of damage to the trust in the relationship. You don't say how you 'caught' him or found out about the interaction, but I think for you the trust was already in jeopardy. Does he understand how much damage he has done?