My boyfriend admitted to me that he likes to wear women's clothes. He even showed me his box full of women's clothes and shoes that he has had since he was younger. I was shocked and I said for him to get rid of it. We left it at a donations bin for a second hand store. Have I done the right thing? Now he seems all depressed and upset at me for making him get rid of it... I don't know what to do

Instead of getting angry or upset have you asked him why he enjoys wearing women's clothes? Is it a question of dress up, going out while wearing women's clothing, masturbating while wearing women's clothing?

Ask him.

Hello Phoenix:

Yes, you did the WRONG thing. If you want to fix it, buy him a beautiful gold lame' top and some matching Botticelli shoes.

excon

I think you have appointed yourself judge, jury and executioner by exploiting his feelings, trampling all over them, and taking away something that was personal, and private.

People have collections of things, that make them, simply put- happy. He feels good wearing female clothing and shoes, enjoys dressing up. He is lucky to have something that makes him feel good about himself, that is harmless, and has been a comfort and pleasure to him for many years.

Who do you think you are, to rob somebody of all of that.

The plus side of all of this is that you have had second thoughts about what you have done. You over reacted in a selfish way, and you are now seeing how you hurt him.

I agree with excon, and I hope you heed some advice, apologize for what you have done, and make it right.

Thank you all for your answers. I do realise that I was wrong and I am going to try and fix it. It only happened last night so I was still in shock and I do love him no matter what.

I still think she has to ask some questions - he doesn't need to answer but I think she has to ask.

I once had a b/f who liked wearing women's knickers, when I found this out to begin with I thought OMG what a pervert.

However after giving it more thought I decided OK if that's his kink I can cope with that, so I told him what I had discovered, he didn't bat an eyelid.

However as time went by I was noticing items of my own clothing and lingerie were missing or couldn't be found. Turns out he had been pinching them to wear for his dressing up. Not the el cheapos either my monroe collections plus my little black dresses, (mortal sin)

No problem you may think, however, Im 5foot 1inch and 8 stones, he was 6ft 6in and 22stones or thereabouts.! eeek, they were lycra that's how he could fit into them.

With discovering this I dumped him. His wearing women's clothes wasn't the issues, wearing mine was.

If you agree with your partner wearing women's clothes which he will continue to do with or without you knowing,(possibly) then sit down and talk it through with him as with all issues in life you'll need to set boundaries, such as he doesn't wear your clothes unless you don't mind, and of course assuming he's not 14 stones heavier than you, that did stretch the boundaries. Literally.

Just talk to him about it, calmly and quietly, no need to make something big of it, I know it's a strange feeling when you find out, but its not the end of the world. Just set boundaries. Good Luck.

Im hoping he's not a sugar plum fairy, like my ex was.

I would wonder when and why and hope I could understand it.

Seems harmless enough... I would be interested in finding out the reasons. I think.

Does he wear your clothes? I have to say it seems odd, but I would be shocked if I saw my husband in my clothes! He's a big guy. Good Luck

My concern is the "why." Maybe it's harmless. Maybe it's not. Maybe he's embarrassed. Maybe he's not.

All we really know is that the OP became upset, boyfriend dumped the clothing. That doesn't mean he won't buy more or that his behavior simply won't go underground.

I would not be interested in a relationship with this type of mystery involved in it. I don't think this would be a problem for me if it's in the privary of the home, in the bedroom. That's between two consent adults. However, if he's doing the grocery shopping dressed as a woman, that would be a problem for me.

Even though I have never personally felt the need, or desire, to dress in women's clothes, I will defend his right to do so.

I have to ask, who are you to MAKE him do anything?

This is his secret practice, and he confided in you with it. He isn't going to stop doing it, I hope you realize that fact. Now he is just going to have to go shopping again, and HIDE it from you.

This is his choice. If you can't deal with it, then maybe it won't be the clothes he throws out next time.

Different strokes for different folks.

I never actually saw my ex b/f in women's clothes but I counjured up some pretty vivid images, and to be honest those images whilst only in my imagination were not the images one really wants to experience as being what they deem the b/f to look like.

It's a tough call and one that really does need a lot of serious thought. I did ask my ex why he liked wearing women's things, his reply was that they felt good next to his skin.

However with the many numerous materials used in making mens attire today, that would be somewhat of a feeble excuse to my mind.

Also with my ex wearing my clothing and lingerie I actually felt violated.

Had he kept it private and not used my clothing etc, I would not have minded in the least, however he went over the line when he stole my stuff for his use.

It won't be easy so really think it all through, and set boundaries.

Hello:

I've been known to wear my girlfriends panties on my head. Is that the same thing?

excon

Instead of getting angry or upset on him you should've asked him why he enjoys wearing women's clothes?
This way you'll not hurt his feelings. I'ma guy and I llove to get dressed in a silk gown satin bras,panties.. satin skirts.. Cause I feel more freedom as compared to those pants or other thingz..

And tell me one thing.. you girls have the freedom to wear anything.. and if we guys wear something girly, you guyz are not able to bear that.. tell me is this a crime to get comfortable.

God says wear that thing in which you are most comfortable, not go according to the human desired wear..

If you have some thoughts mail me at >Removed<
Ty!. :)

Yes, I have a thought. Where did God say that? Private message to you? The Bible? Something else?

You DO have the freedom to wear anything you choose. I have the freedom to wear anything I choose. There are things I do not wear outside my home because I feel they are inappropriate. Everyone also has the freedom to decide what is appropriate.

I'm a female and I have no idea why anyone who didn't have to wear a bra would choose to wear one. Same with pantyhose.

The only reason you see this as weird is because society has pasted the image that men wearing women's clothing is weird. As soon as people start talking about men wearing dresses everyone always starts to think of transvestites and this is not always the case. Now let's take women as the example here. Back however many hundreds of years ago it would have been considered strange, socially unacceptable, weird and all other demeaning words if a women wanted to wear pants. Nowadays most women wear pants almost every second day. Now talking from experience, I liked to wear dresses, skirts, etc but I never wanted to be a women. I just enjoyed wearing that kind of clothing. So when it comes down to it, it's society that deems this as a strange occurrence and we need to change this image. Cause sometimes guys just want to wear skirts

I'm with Judy on this---wear whatever you want, but why in the world you'd want to wear pantyhose or a bra is beyond me. I won't stop you. When women first started wearing pants, it was scandalous. You're going to have to deal with the scandalous phase of men wearing dresses, and you'll have to go through the same thing those women did: most of the opposite sex thinks that you are weird and/or not attractive.

I am a male to female transgender and have been wearing women clothes for years. What I don't understand is why can women wear men's clothes and it is not a problem. Heaven forbid a man to go in women's clothes,he will be ridiculed all the way back and forth. Why is that?

This has been closed for almost a year. No one will read this unless they have posted here previously and are advised that you have added this post.

Why not open this topic as a discussion in another forum?

Start with your contention that women wear men's clothes and go from there.

My ex did the same thing to me - it didn't change anything as far as the crossdressing - just went out and bought more outfits. The resentment on both sides never went away though. Getting him some new clothes might be a good start but you need to decide if you can take the crossdressing - its not going to go away and if your going to keep throwing it away every time (as happened to me) - don't think its ever going to work.