I know there are similar questions, but I kind of felt my circumstances were new.. My BF and I have been together just over 2 years. We have been through many ups and downs. For a long time I suffered identity issues and depression and anxiety. When I met my BF I was stuck in a world of image.. I was a bikini model in calendars, pageants, etc etc and I was very sure of myself. I had also recently before I met my BF been making a lot of money through nude photoshoots for porn magazines.. and it's going to sound stupid but they were quite tasteful..
My BF didn't know about the porn when we met, I guess I kind of felt it was my own thing but I thought he may not respect me as much if he knew. Time passed and the lie was getting old.. and it was harder and harder to tell him. Until one day he saw me on the cover of a magazine... then he started to buy everything he could and subscribed to one magazine I would be in.
I was not actively doing the shoots after about 1 month of being together.. I couldn't bear it. But the shoots I had done previously had not been published yet, so I guess he thought I was still doing them.
Anyway, we worked hard to get through this total mistrust. And the problem I now face is his new job...
You see, he works for a large fashion label, and his position involves being present on photo-shoots and as an art-director he has a lot of input into what is done. Obviously what he does is not porn, but a lot of this label's fashion is bikinis and swimwear. Like any girl, I guess I feel insecure. I gave up all of my modelling when I met my BF and focused on study and my other professional career..
Lately my BF has seemed really sad. I have asked him what about and he says he doesn't know - he just doesn't like himself and where he is heading. I asked if that was also with 'us' and he said he doesn't know... We haven't had any intimacy for about a month now, around about the time that I had a huge mental breakdown, and had to see a doctor and start medication.
I have also discovered nude images of really beautiful women on his external hard drive hidden in folders.. They are not full-on porn, but kind of like what I used to do... only these women are like victoria's secret models.. I am not sure what to do.. I feel as though I am not sexy enough or something, or maybe I have become too needy, or with being not too mentally stable I feel maybe he feels like a father figure rather than a BF now...
Help...

Obviously, he feels down cause of your past.

Remember, guys have feelings too =/~ it's disrespectful to label males as "creatures that should not cry." If I was your boyfriend, I'd feel down too cause it's too much to handle. Your past... is really bad~

I don't agree with hjpan. I mean your past and the fact you didn't say anything in the beginning might have been hard and the trust issue then would have been hard. But I mean you guys have been together over 2 years now so there has to be some trust because without trust there is no love. The whole mental thing, I think was you or him making it worse then what it was. I mean if you are hot yourself and was making a name for yourself before you quit then apparently you was attractive and quite beautiful. Feeling insecure is normal for anyone but you have to keep the faith in him and the trust. Maybe his mental breakdown is what is bringing you down and making you feel nuts. I would try doing relationship counseling or something if he won't tell you anything he has to tell someone. You have to try to get him to spill his guts. I'm the same way. Bottled up for so long I explode and I still don't want to talk to anyone. But I'm learning if I talk and ge it off my chest it really does help. I hope anything that I said gives you an idea.

Sounds like he is suffering from depression and there is a good chance its not about your porn modeling at all. Its possible it might be related or triggered it but I think its as likely that it is unrelated.

Counseling is a good idea. Some people pull out of it on their own, others need help.

Don't overthink anything about his pictures. Guys like seeing naked women. It has zero to do with how hot you are or not.

Look at Christy Brinkly. She's still damn hot at her age and look? See what I mean. Unrelated there. A guy who can't look at any woman but one has an obsession.

Notice I said looking. Looking does not make you a player.