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I'm gay and I have always wondered if it is really my choice. Like I have never felt 'straight' just gay. So I am wondering if anyone has heard of it being in you DNA or anything like that. Any advice would be helpful!!
Oh, I see where you're going now, LOL! Of course, I made the decision to act upon my gay tendencies. Just as you handle your dinky when you please, or have sex with your wife. People have gay sex because they're gay. However, being gay, having gay thoughts, tendencies and desires is not a choice.
You made a choice to follow those thoughts rather that the other thoughts....you then became aclimated to that way of thinking.
Not really any different that someome who stays with an abuser long enough to think its what everyone deals with...
People can get used to a lot of things. Ever see a habitual liar that honestly believes what they tell others? Even one without a real mental illness? I have. People by their very nature tend to aclimate to their enviroment. And see that as the norm, the average. There are many, many examples that can be given....what is considered beautiful in one location can be grossly different in another part of the world. Enviroment and what one percieves in their own sliver of it.
Choice...well, if I followed my gut....I'd be banging any woman I think is attractive...assuming she'd let me, trust me to this minute I'd like to do just that. But I made a choice to be faithful to my wife. A choice I made and a choice I assume responsibility for taking.
I have a preference for skinny women....now is that intended to be a slight against the more curvey ones? Not at all, my perception of beauty is colored by the enviroment I chose to be in...and it reflects in my choices. I've run with different crowds growing up....so I understand how peoples viewpoints can vary dramatically over time. From their enviroment.
But like I said....I don't care if someone is gay or not. I judge my friends by who they are....not who they sleep with.
There is no *evidence* one way or another about this topic.
Smoothy, I have to say your logic isn't working on this one. Either you CHOSE, and made a conscious choice, to be heterosexual, or you were wired that way. I mean, were you FORCED to have heterosexual sex?
Personally, I don't think it's a choice. Who the heck would CHOOSE to be outcast from some portions of society? Who would CHOOSE to have to deal with attitudes like "I did the right thing and married someone of the opposite gender because I was raised with and have morals".
Seriously?
Gay people either weren't raised right or don't have morals? Really?
I agree with you, Smoothy, that too many people don't take responsibility for their actions. But you cannot seriously think that EVERY single thing that EVERY single person deals with is a product of their choices. If that's the case, then NO ONE should EVER have a birth defect, disease, broken limb, car accident, no job, or hangnail except because they CHOSE to.
You made a choice to follow those thoughts rather that the other thoughts....you then became aclimated to that way of thinking..
So you had gay thoughts as a young adult/teenager? You thought about dating/having sex with another boy? I'd like to hear you admit this, frankly, because the ONLY men I've ever met that admit this are either gay or bisexual.
If you didn't think about having sex with a guy---why would you assume that homosexual people had thoughts about the opposite sex at all?
So you had gay thoughts as a young adult/teenager? You thought about dating/having sex with another boy? I'd like to hear you admit this, frankly, because the ONLY men I've ever met that admit this are either gay or bisexual.
If you didn't think about having sex with a guy---why would you assume that homosexual people had thoughts about the opposite sex at all?
Has the thought ever crossed my mind in my life?
I'll admit to yeah. Have I ever acted on it....no....I made that choice. And I'll bet there are a LOT of people out there who if they were really honest with themselves would admit to it as well.
People who don't act on impulse....and people can and do get used to a lot of things......I'm not inviting a polital discussion, its out of place for this forum...but a good and extreme example being the People living in North Korea...they are used to the situation....dealt with it so long its normal for them. In fact many would be willing to fight and die to keep it. Yet how many will admit they really wouldn't collectively change the situation that it couldn't be done?
Look at the situations people are accustomed to anyplace....look at the people who aceept abuse as part of life.....because they chose to be that way long enough it became the norm for them.
Choices have effects down the road...many times in ways nobody would guess. Like I said...lifestyle, and far more. Otherwise the world would be homogenous and not as diverse as it is.
And again I'll state........I'm NOT a member of the burn them at the stake crowd.
I have gay relatives, and gay friends. Every single one of them said the same thing to me. Why would I want to choose to be this way. My cousins boyfriends parents think it is a "phase" he is going through. He is 32 he has been dating my cousin since they were 20. That is one hell of a phase.
I know my cousin dated 1 girl in high school and I asked him was he ever turned on by her. He said imagine making out with your friend Chad and I made this grossed out face he said now you know how I feel when I made out with her. IT IS NOT A CHOICE.
32....hmmmm generation Y clearly in the blame everything else era that started in the late 70's.
People tried it...liked it...it became the norm for them. Big deal. I'm not faulting their gayness, hell I wish them a happy life. I'm faulting people who blame their choices on other things.
I suppose nothing else they do is a choice either...drug use, bad habits, the circle of friends they have.
If they don't enjoy it then why are they doing it I ask?
I mean people aren't born with nose studs and facial tattoos....but some people do it anyway. They made the choice. They stick with it because they enjoy it.
You have no choice with your hair color...or eye color...how tall you are, but other actions such as who you choose to sleep with, and your weight are factors in the lifestyle you choose. You know what...I need to lose 20 lbs.....its not genetics....I wasn't born this way. Its because I am overly fond of junk food, and my lifestyle doesn't have me physically active enough to burn those extra calories. Its my choices that resulted in it.
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