Being forced to gain weight

I have been with my boyfriend for over ten years now and I really love him. The prolem is he wants me to gain a major amount of wieght. He wants me to be 180lbs and I'm only 5"3'. I really don't want to its a really crappy situation because I have the pressure from the media to be thin and from my boyfriend to be fat. I just feel ugly all together. I wish I could just be whatever I want and have someone just love me. My boyfriend makes me eat till I almost vomit and I hate him inside for it. I would and could never do it but I sometimes think of stabbing him in the neck. He tells me that I'm to skinny all the time and that other girls are so hot. I'm not overly skinny either, he just has a strong prefence. Its making me misrable. I find myself lying about what I eat to make it sound like more so I don't get scolded or guilt tripped. I can't order the food l I like beuase he will complain that it "doesnt have enough calories." I have tried talking to him about it over and over. He just makes me feel as if I'm being vian and stupid, he says "i know best". Imi just being selfish or super vain. I don't know if I should feel guity or angry. I know I feel a whole spectrum of exstream feelings. Sometimes I think I should just give up. Advice or someone to talk to would be very apperciated.
Thank you for your time.