 | |
| Browse | Ask | Answer | Search | Join/Login | |
Apparently "friend" is code for "I want a BJ!"
Asked Jul 16, 2008, 01:08 AM
—
19 Answers I had this friend when I was 16, we were introduced and hung out a few times and I was more attracted to one of his friends than him but he was such a pathetic but sweet and funny guy that before I really thought about it I wanted to be nice right back and knowing from what the friend who introduced us said I ended up giving him a BJ even though I wasn't sexually attracted to him. Cue 6 months of drinking and partying and we ended up in some weird reality where I had sex with him repeatedly - kinky sex - and for the most part it was fun, his style of doing things doesn't really compliment mine... And then he had to go away. But now he's back, and for the last months he's been emailing me and calling me and saying he "just wants to be my friend" and "he's always there for me and willing to listen" and I actually for a minute took him seriously, almost - and then in as blunt a way as possible I asked him what he meant by "friend" and what he REALLY wanted and left my side open... And turns out what he wants is to buy me things and have sex with me. And it's been 2 years or more since I've had sex, since a crappy relationship with an even bigger loser who didn't even have sweetness and humor on his side... And I can't help but think, "been there and done that" with this guy. Presents aren't enough to sway me, though enough libations might be... And my question is, how do I tell someone so persistent who could and would happily spread viscious rumors about me if I don't have sex with him - to go away!? I'm generally not good at saying no, because people never respect my no! |
19 Answers
| ||||
| Hello BBC  I never thought I would say this to anyone, as I am rather open and free on sex myself, but from what you wrote I can only conclude that you have little respect for yourself. I am not some religious freak who insists that sex is there only for marriage. But it surely should be related to at least a firm friendship and mutual respect for each other. If you have a physical need for sex, and a vibrator is not enough for you, well, yes, go ahead and have sex with this guy. It is your body, and from me you may do with it whatever you want. But what will that do between your ears? Your self respect seems already rather low. You want to make that even lower? What will be next? Don't end up like so many with "one beer in the pub, and I'll drop my pants". Do not "sell" yourself. Not for money, not for favors, not for presents. Have sex if you need it, and - preferably - if it is a natural activity between you and a lover. Any other way is actually nothing more than renting out your vagina for gain. You know what I mean with that, I am sure .... Till you have a permanent partner and children, the most important person in your life should be YOU. Once you have these, that may change. But for now put yourself tops on your list of priorities. And take it from there .... AND LEARN TO SAY NO ! All the best with you ! | ||||
| |
| ||||
| The quote you really mean is "friends with benifits" Thats slang for sex with no commitments with someone you know.... Keep in mind these days sex carries the risk of AIDS as you can never know what they had done for at least 5 years previously or who those people were with etc......see how that balloons pretty quickly? Personally I would recommend you save it for a real committed relationship and not be a booty call. | ||||
| |
| ||||
| Bee, Come on now, bee, you have written the script of your sexual life so far, and you have made a mess of it. You can't feel sorry for yourself for the lousy male relationships you get yourself into! Time to turn your life around so you can get what you *really want*--love, caring, kindness...not all the heartbreak that goes with the carefree sl*t personna you tried on when you were just a baby of 16! Just don't see this guy. Good luck to you in the future. There is love and caring out there for the *right you*. | ||||
| |
| ||||
| You said you went two years without because you realize where it gets you so why melt for this guy that you obviously know you aren't all that interested in. You are going to have to say NO and mean it sooner or later so start now! | ||||
| |
| ||||
| People don't respect your "no" because you don't. No is no and stick by it when you mean it. Why engaged in sexual acts with someone you don't like. He don't even sound like a friend and you only mean one thing to him. It should have not happen when you was 16 and how old was he by the way? Never do nothing you don't want and if your force, get the law involved. I'm pretty sure he done told someone about the sexual deeds your did and now your afraid if you see no he will tell. That's going be hard but you have to face the things you did and if possible try to move. Never be pressure by anyone to do something you don't. I have gone out with guys and on the first date they have tried to or ask me for sex, I simply said no and that was the end of that. I have male friends and never had any sought of sexual contact with them so male friends don't equal a blow job. People will only do what you allow them to do so therefore for you to be a stronger person seek help now while your still young. This can help build your self-esteem, self-worth, and make a sound decision. | ||||
| |
| ||||
| "and my question is, how do I tell someone so persistent who could and would happily spread viscious rumors about me if I don't have sex with him - to go away!? " How old is this guy? I would tell him to leave me alone, and if he insisted on bothering me I would contact the police and see if I could get him for harassment...if they can't be of help and he spreads rumors about you just laugh them off or make him look like a fool by saying things like yeah I might still be interested if he weren't so boring in bed, if his weenie wasn't so small, if his willy wouldn't wilt, if he wasn't a one minute man etc ....blackmail me into sex I don't think so....like the others said respect yourself and stand up for yourself, take care of you. | ||||
| |
| ||||
| Let him start as many rumours as he wants-say no NO and NO until he gets the message. Move on and dump the loser forever. You deserve a better sexual life with a partner chosen by YOU. | ||||
| |
| ||||
| Quote:
You've all made great points, thank you so much. I don't want to be a slut and I do deserve better, so I emailed him with a very direct "no I'm not interested now or ever." and deleted the account, and I won't be taking his calls. I think my main weakness was forgetting that I've yet to expierence what I REALLY want - which is a kind, loving, respectful relationship with someone I'm over-the-moon in love with and it's way more important that I keep working on being the type of person who deserves that. I can't put into words how much I appreciate such straight and honest answers. | ||||
| |
| ||||
| So he could possibly be a sexual predator...depending on the age for consent in your area. | ||||
| |
Not your question? Ask your question View similar questions
| Thread Tools | Search this Thread |
Check out some similar questions!
Intertherm Electric Furnace Blower works in "on" not in "auto" [ 6 Answers ]
I have an Intertherm Electric Furnace E2EB-015AH. I came home from work last night, turned the heat on and it didn't work as advertised. I could hear the relays clicking occasionally so I investigated a little and found the elements are heating up and cycling, the relay inside the thermostat cycles...
Music from the documentary "napoli corner" or "maradona in naples" [ 4 Answers ]
I'm looking for an opera song that is shown in the beginning of the football(soccer) documentary "napoli corner" or "maradona in naples",it is probably sang by luciano pavarottibut I don't really know,please tell me the artist's name and the song's name,thank you.:) :confused:
Oscar De La Hoya "Golden Boy" vs Floyd "Money" Mayweather Part 2 [ 1 Answers ]
Who would win between these 2. Oscar De La Hoya "Golden Boy" vs Floyd "Money" Mayweather Part 2 My vote is for Oscar to win this time by unanamous decision.
Honda accord 2000 6 cyl " the light "check" is on" [ 1 Answers ]
My honda accord 2000 6 cyl. With 101000k miles is was with the light "check" on. I took To a non-honda mechanic and he erased it. The computer said that the code is PO700, and the mechanic said that it needs to have the "transmission rebuilt", and the price ranges from $ 1500.00 - 1600.00. ...
View more Adult Sexuality questions Search
