anyone read SHE COMES FIRST?

kp2171 · #1 Oct 6, 2007, 05:13 AM

just curious if anyone here has also read She Comes First: A Thinking Man's Guide to Pleasuring a Woman?

like most sexual/sensual "help" books, it isnt a "perfect" one-method-for-all recipe that teaches a man how to pleasure a woman orally, but its not a bad little read and gets you thinking.

my partner stumbled across it in a big box store with me a couple of months ago. she then teased me with the question early on in the writing "did you know the clitoris has eighteen parts...can you identify them?" knowing damn well this would irritate me. no... not in my anatomy, physiology, nor my developmental embryology class did they ever identify eighteen parts of the clitoris. what a hell of a lab practical that wouldve been.

anyway... its holds to the belief that ive had for a long time... if you want a woman to reach orgasm, oral sex is often the best bet... doesnt mean intercourse is dropped, it means oral first, then intercourse or other depending on your mood, wants, etc...and he spends the first half of the book telling you why you should think this way, what it can do for you and your partner... isnt until halfway through that you get into the physical aspects... granted, you need to be aware of the mental process for this, but i think he takes a little long to try to convince you its a good idea...

...and while, again, i dont think there is any perfect recipe, even one woman can want different things at different times, i think its worth a look at. when a woman reads some of the book and looks at you and says "this guy knows how to go down... read chapter 23 and on"... you take notice.

we've had good success with oral stim, but im not so closed minded that im not willing to learn about how to make things better in the bedroom.

one note... while i think it might be good for anyone of any experience to read, i worry it might make a newcomer intimidated when he gets into the general "routine" that he thinks works best. there are a lot of errogenous zones he refers to, and the newcomer might be too intimidated to really experience the moment or be thinking too hard that they might ignore their partners cues.

but again, knowledge is good. i think it got my partner thinking about what we do that works and what we could do to make things better.

the next book he wrote is "he comes next"... we havent had a chance to scope that one out yet, but im guessing itll probably get a look at and if its interesting will be added to our "library" of sensual/sexual reads.

anyway... the question still is "anybody here read it"?

self_lnflicted_hell · Oct 6, 2007, 05:17 AM

Nope, never even heard of it but I'll tell you what, I'm definitely going to look into getting my SO a copy!!! He's in need of some serious help in the "were in this relationship TOGETHER" department!! LOL

kp2171 · Oct 6, 2007, 05:30 AM

i think it can be hard for a guy to open up his mind to the wholeness of what "good sex" means. id like to think ive always been a "giving" partner, but hopefully i give more and better now than before... and that takes time and communication and a mindset open to admitting you arent above sexual education.

one problem i had early on was i had a partner who was really, really easy to get off. it was like money in the bank... and no, i do not think she just faked it. this girl loved sex and she was blessed physically with an ability to easily reach orgasm with some "simple" stim. i thought i had the midas touch. tongue. whatever. =)

my partner now is much more "complicated"... needs very different stim. if i did to her what worked on the other girl, shed smack me on the head. she needs much more subtle, delicate, deliberate work... except for when she wants it harder... so i have to read her cues much more closely... what worked last time to bring her to a monster orgasm might go absolutely nowhere the next if i cant read whats working.

so yeah, check it out. like i said, its not a sex bible. we have probably a couple dozen books about sensuality and sexuality and they all have their flaws and they all have something to give.

think we got ours on half.com or amazon.

kp2171 · Oct 17, 2007, 05:13 PM

nobody?

Ash123 · Oct 17, 2007, 08:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by self_lnflicted_hell

Nope, never even heard of it but I'll tell you what, I'm definitely going to look into getting my SO a copy!!! He's in need of some serious help in the "were in this relationship TOGETHER" department!! LOL

Sorry to change the subject, but Self-Inflicted....I am not sure why, but i just don't believe you are with the right guy. I feel like you do love him but deep down are fighting a lot of conflicts about where your life is going...i'd listen to those inner voices sometimes...

just my 2 cents....

maryJane159 · Nov 21, 2007, 08:23 AM

I have read it, I love books and i came across it, ive actually read both, it def. strikes my interest. Def. read "he comes next" I read that first and then found the other book, i would recommend them to anyone. Exspecially if you want to know what men are thinking with their "head"



At Ask Me Help Desk you can ask questions in any topic and have them answered for free by our experts. To ask questions or participate in answering them you must register for a free account. By registering you will be able to: Get free answers from experts in any of our 300+ topics. Accept money for answers that you provide. Communicate privately with other members (PM). See fewer ads. Sign Up!