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kevinjacquee09 · Apr 17, 2009, 04:11 PM

I am deployed its our first deployment together and my wife is really lonely and really deprived from sex just like me and she asked me if she could have sex with another man just to take the edge off. I told her no and my reasons are that it would not stop I don't think what is just once going to do other than just do more frustration to the issue. What are some suggestions?

Alty · Apr 17, 2009, 04:14 PM

Tell her to buy a vibrator!

Are you kidding me? You're deployed and all she can think of is how she's missing out on sex? Wow, she's a sweetheart!

Marriage is more then just sex, it's commitment too. If she can't even keep her pants on while you're gone fighting for your country, then she needs help.

Good luck and stay safe.

bronzebabe · Apr 17, 2009, 04:30 PM

Oh Wow, hunny! How insensitive is she? Wow! Sorry, I think she is asking, because she plans to do it. I can't believe she would even ASK that!
I think I'm in shock!

ScottGem · Apr 17, 2009, 05:11 PM

Make her a present of a collection of sex toys. You can probably order them online to ship to her. Send her a note telling her to use THESE to take the edge off.

Bonnie46 · Apr 17, 2009, 05:17 PM

Wow. That's very unfair to you. She needs to chill out with a vibrator and remember that she made a VOW to marry you for BETTER or for WORSE (which also means being FAITHFUL to YOU WHILE YOU'RE DEPLOYED!! ) Does she want to stay married to you? Is this her way of asking for a divorce? Wow. Wow. Wow. I don't have words. This is not fair at all - she should be ashamed!! Has she ever been unfaithful to you in the past? This seems disrespectful - maybe she sleeps around a lot...

liz28 · Apr 17, 2009, 05:36 PM

She can choose from a variety online. Maybe she can invest in porn as well but not cheating.

I can't believe she asked you what she did. Before married did the two of you have a talk regarding what would happen if you get deployed?

Synnen · Apr 17, 2009, 06:48 PM

She has her fingers and her imagination.

If she can't use THOSE to take the edge off, then she needs more help than an online community can give her.

Fr_Chuck · Apr 17, 2009, 07:21 PM

Save up for a good divorce attorney when you get back.
That would or should be the very last thing she would ask.

It shows a total lack of commitment or faithfulness

N0help4u · Apr 17, 2009, 07:46 PM

I agree with the others. If she can not wait for you she might as well divorce and move on.
By her wanting to be with other guys it sounds like she is not there for you emotionally. Even if she is where would her emotions be while she is messing with other guy(s)?
One word really seems to be missing here
LOVE
In its place
SELF
You deserve much better
Hope she wises up

DSM521 · Apr 17, 2009, 08:21 PM

Wow, I am so sorry to hear about your situation. This is the last thing you need on your mind while you are away from your family fighting for us and our country. I don't have any suggestions to add, I think the suggestions you have pretty much cover it.

I just want to offer my and all of our support. You know you can always come here to vent. I want to think you for what you are doing for our country. You have made a very unselfish choice and you are a true hero. What a sacrifice you have made to be away from your family for the betterment of all of us back here at home.

Thank you for all you do and good luck with this very difficult situation.

Stringer · Apr 17, 2009, 10:29 PM

Her question... her blatant narcissism is despicable, plain and simple. Once something like this occurs the foundation for love and trust has crumbled.

I know that she will miss you... and she should...

"All for one...one for all" God bless you, be safe and thanks for your service.

Stringer

smoothy · Apr 18, 2009, 10:47 AM

Originally Posted by kevinjacquee09

i am deployed its our first deployment together and my wife is really lonely and really deprived from sex just like me and she asked me if she could have sex with another man just to take the edge off. i told her no and my reasons are that it would not stop i dont think what is just once going to do other than just do more frustration to the issue. what are some suggestions?

I'll tell you I see so much wrong with her question its not even funny.

Tell her to just buy a dildo and pretend... if she won't listen Hide your assets and get any power of attourney she might hold revoked because something else is going on and you need to protect yourself.

artlady · Apr 18, 2009, 11:04 AM

People can and do live without sex for very long periods.
Her blatant disregard for you and your position is frankly,totally crass and immensely selfish.
Thank-you for your service and commitment!

nitelight198073 · Apr 18, 2009, 11:52 AM

Originally Posted by Altenweg

Tell her to buy a vibrator!

Are you kidding me? You're deployed and all she can think of is how she's missing out on sex? Wow, she's a sweetheart!

Marriage is more then just sex, it's commitment too. If she can't even keep her pants on while you're gone fighting for your country, then she needs help.

Good luck and stay safe.

Love the answer Alty but has to spread the rep

lighterrr · Apr 19, 2009, 11:56 PM

We can't wait to have you home safe and sound, and thxx for you totally unselfish commitment to making this world a better and safer place, my thoughts and prayers are always with our soldiers

Silverfoxkit · Apr 20, 2009, 12:06 AM

Chances are if she's asked she's going to anyway, if she hasn't already.

The entire situation is wrong on so many levels. Not only does she have the indecency to shatter the scared vows and trust of marriage and shows no morals or values, she has the guts to do it while you are putting your life on the line for your country. Marriage is a lot more then just sex and if this is a precursor to how the marriage will continue I have to agree and say save yourself the trouble and get a divorce lawyer now.

chrissymarie · Apr 20, 2009, 10:02 AM

How long have you 2 been married?

kp2171 · Apr 20, 2009, 12:24 PM

Kevin

Thank you for your work and your dedication.

Please, don't give in on this.

Its one thing to ask you about this when you are present.

I'm sorry you are in this position. I'm sorry she is missing your presence. But the honest truth is you both need to live up to the vows that you both took.

And I understand she is in a difficult place. So are you. You wouldn't choose to be away from her.

So...

Id advise against giving consent here.

It isn't easy... but marriage... or love... often isn't easy or convenient.

I hope she gets it. I think you do.

And... again... thank you so much for your sacrifice.

88sunflower · Apr 20, 2009, 12:53 PM

She asked you if she could have sex with another man?? Why don't you ask her the same question and see her response. I am not making light of this at all saying that. But come on! If she is asking you this then its possible she already has and she feels guilt and is trying to justify it. Please don't even amuse her with an answer. You deserve so much more then that kind of stupidity.

Please just be safe and come home. Thank you for all that your doing and know that your in our thoughts.

Xrayman · Apr 20, 2009, 03:49 PM

My response to that would be "Sure!", I'll find a nice woman over here as well, oh and when I get back, don't be there, Oh and by the way, the divorce papers are in the mail... "

Holy mackerel..