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    babyd09's Avatar
    babyd09 Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Dec 10, 2008, 11:34 AM
    Is it all right that my boyfriend finishes in like 30 seconds?
    Okay so here is the story I am a lot younger than my boyfriend he is 33 and I am 21. When we have sex together it only takes him somewhere close to 30 seconds to . IS that Normal?? It is a big problem because I feel like he gets all the pleasure and I don't.. Please HELP ME OUT..
    450donn's Avatar
    450donn Posts: 1,821, Reputation: 239
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    #2

    Dec 10, 2008, 01:40 PM

    If he is making sure you are satisfied first then sure it's OK. Now if as you say he is just climbing on for a 30 second ride then that is no good. If he is unwilling to do what ever it takes to make sure you are happy first, I would suggest moving on to greener pastures. There are lots of guys that will do what ever it takes to make sure their girl is happy first.
    smoothy's Avatar
    smoothy Posts: 25,492, Reputation: 2853
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    #3

    Dec 10, 2008, 02:32 PM

    That's not usual. Its what we call a "minute man" as in he's on and he's off in about a minute.

    There are lots of things he can to to resolve this... the easiest being wearing two condoms to reduce sensation... the rest take work.
    wolfgangqpublic's Avatar
    wolfgangqpublic Posts: 189, Reputation: 29
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    #4

    Dec 10, 2008, 03:44 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by smoothy View Post
    Thats not usual. Its what we call a "minute man" as in he's on and he's off in about a minute.

    There are lots of things he can to to resolve this....the easiest being wearing two condoms to reduce sensation...the rest take work.
    Do NOT try this method unless you are also using the birth control pill effectively, as it increases the risk of breakage.
    neverme's Avatar
    neverme Posts: 1,430, Reputation: 270
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    #5

    Dec 10, 2008, 05:12 PM

    I had an ex that felt he came too fast.. we used those condoms, they helped a little but not too much.

    Like 450donn said, it's OK as long as your satisfied first. Take a bit of control.. make sure you are. Don't let him get on until your good and ready.. honestly though good a lover feels unsatisfied as much as you do, if not more, if s/he doesn't satisfy their partner.
    Kickprivate's Avatar
    Kickprivate Posts: 18, Reputation: 7
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    #6

    Dec 10, 2008, 07:24 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by babyd09 View Post
    Okay so here is the story I am alot younger than my boyfriend he is 33 and I am 21. When we have sex together it only takes him somewhere close to 30 seconds to . IS that Normal??? It is a big problem because I feel like he gets all the pleasure and I dont.. Please HELP ME OUT..
    This is not normal. There is a exercise he can do, it can be done alone or with a partner in any situation where the penis is stimulated.

    Have him play with his self until just before he cums, This is also know as the point of no return where the Gspot starts to contract and semen releases. Have him stop everything and let the contractions or sensations cool down. FYI the penis will contract 8 to 12 times before coming, just so you know. When the penis starts contractions count how many there are, take note.

    Keep repeating but do not pass the point of no return making sure to stop when things get to heated. Keep track of the contractions, if the amount increases, increase rest time between sessions. They go down then, well you are well on your way to success. Please note that it will take time and you do have to practice, but with a little fun and encouragement it can be a great exercise to better love making.

    Good luck,
    Kick
    Starbucks21's Avatar
    Starbucks21 Posts: 282, Reputation: 23
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    #7

    Dec 10, 2008, 08:23 PM

    It could be a medical issue and premature ejaculation may cause you problems... Might want to go and have him talk to a doctor. This isn't a uncommon problem
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692
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    #8

    Dec 10, 2008, 09:10 PM

    In the end, if he goes 30 seconds or 30 min often he will still need to use manual stimulation to satisfy you, often this can be done long before he starts. Also how does he do or last the second time.
    E3317's Avatar
    E3317 Posts: 103, Reputation: -5
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    #9

    Dec 10, 2008, 09:43 PM

    If you can't have one in that time then this is something you should talk to him about
    SimpleguyJoe's Avatar
    SimpleguyJoe Posts: 302, Reputation: 68
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    #10

    Dec 10, 2008, 10:04 PM

    You have to ask is HE OK with going in 30 seconds if he is then he is just not a good lover plain and simple. Im guessing he just does not like to talk about it? Maybe bring it up a little more and go see a sex theripist together. He could fix his problem if he really wanted to.
    smoothy's Avatar
    smoothy Posts: 25,492, Reputation: 2853
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    #11

    Dec 11, 2008, 07:03 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by wolfgangqpublic View Post
    Do NOT try this method unless you are also using the birth control pill effectively, as it increases the risk of breakage.
    Can you present any evidence of that from any studies... why would two condoms be any more prone to breaking than a single one.
    ZoeMarie's Avatar
    ZoeMarie Posts: 2,049, Reputation: 468
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    #12

    Dec 11, 2008, 01:45 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by E3317 View Post
    If you can't have one in that time then this is something you should talk to him about
    Do you really expect that a girl should finish in 30 seconds? You ever heard that men are like microwaves and women are like a crock pots?
    smoothy's Avatar
    smoothy Posts: 25,492, Reputation: 2853
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    #13

    Dec 11, 2008, 02:10 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by ZoeMarie View Post
    do you really expect that a girl should finish in 30 seconds? you ever heard that men are like microwaves and women are like a crock pots?
    There really are guys that think that way... that don't have a clue how to really give a woman an orgasm... and its not that uncommon.
    NewlySaved's Avatar
    NewlySaved Posts: 4, Reputation: 2
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    #14

    Dec 11, 2008, 07:26 PM
    Everybody is wrong... If I had 10 condoms on and I was having sex with Mrs. Angie Jolie I would still bust in 3 min. But next time you hop in the sack wit you boy... tell him to stare at the wall and think about rosie o'donnel. He can even go as far as busting one before intercourse... lol
    skittles001's Avatar
    skittles001 Posts: 40, Reputation: 6
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    #15

    Dec 16, 2008, 10:07 PM

    Well, the sensible and most helpful thing would be to get him to last longer. Maybe Masturbation or some special help from you about an hour or two before you have sex might make hi last a little longer, as well the more sex you have the easier it will become, hopefully. The longer a male goes without sex the easier and quicker he ejaculates. Maybe an oral sex session for the BOTH of you (as to not leave you out) an hour or two before will help. Happy lovemaking.
    dreamgrl85's Avatar
    dreamgrl85 Posts: 1, Reputation: 2
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    #16

    Dec 16, 2008, 10:34 PM

    Dear babyd09,
    I know how frustrating it is not to feel satisfied by your partner. I'm having a similar situation. I'm 23 and my bfriend is 30. Unfortunately he is the one who usually has less enegry, passion and stamina in sex. I was veeeery angy and frustrated even though he's my first boyfriend, my first lover and first love I wasn't afraid to talk to him.[B] I have a simple recipe for you how to improve things. If he cares, he will do it, if you care you will have patience...
    1. He needs to change his lifestyle -sport/gym 3times per week - it makes miracles, no other medication is better!
    2. Quit smoking or eccesive drinking-it's a no one. Killer of the erection.
    3. Change diet look online, basically they say to eat simple: fruits, veggies, meat, fish, nuts (no fried, extra fat or salted stuff!)
    4. Do some activities together: walks on weekends, horseriding etc you never know what is going to happen in the shower;)
    5. Buy sexy clothes, stockings, candles, surprise him, have sex somewhere else spunk him! Let him feel that he's alive
    6. If nothing helps, go to the doctor/consultation. You never know if it sits in his body or thoughts maybe?

    Try this. I tried, because I didn't want my first relationship to fall just because of sex. Try to convince him. The rest of the task ia upon him. If he really loves you, he will do anything to make you happy and for sure he will be happier too with all this situation. Be positive and encouraging! It works!!
    Flesh's Avatar
    Flesh Posts: 24, Reputation: 7
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    #17

    Dec 18, 2008, 11:48 AM

    I can tell you that I used to and still do on certain occasions have very quick orgasms, and it can put a strain on a relationship if you do not talk about it and work it out. First you need to tell him (even if you are not) that its OK, make him feel secure with you during sex, that no matter what happens its cool,that helped me almost 100%, I lasted longer and did not feel like a loser when I did not, but also tell him you have sex because you want an orgasm too, and you need to tell him what you like... I have had girls that got off in 5mins of stimulation, I have had girls that needed there asses slapped, needed to be talked dirty to... he can not read your mind, maybe he will never be able to give you the best pentration sex, but he can give you hot sex that makes you orgasm (aka the reason you have sex other than babies) you just have to tell him what turns you on, and really think about that, what do you do to masturbate? Tell him, my ex would hump pillows lol, for real. You have to talk about it, it really is WAY more mental than physical, I know that when me and ex first got together we had long lasting sex with penatration, but when the relationship was sour, and I felt judged by her, that I would bust in like 3 minutes, Its sublime and I can not explain it, but if you make him feel OK, and start to make sure that you get yours too, no matter what you need to do that your sex life will get better... 30 secs is really short though... he could have a med condition you need to check that out first because nothing will work if it is a med condition.

    I know from experience that when a man cums fast he feels bad,embarrassed, and a lot of other negative things, also actually he does want to talk about it, he wants to know that the partner is OK with it, but that it needs to get fixed, he wants to know that he has someone that is willing to work with him and that loves him no matter what, and do not forget the empathy, put yourself in his shoes. If you are having trouble talking to him about, you need to change your approach... if when you say something about it your like, this sucks what's your prob, he is not going to talk about it, but if you say, hey its OK, but we need to find a solution to this because it is causing me trouble than he will listen, because you came at him like a partner not a dissatisfied woman. You have to let him know he is not alone in this, and that it can be solved, there are so many things you can do, its not really as big as a deal as you think it is, and let him know that he is not the only one roughly 20-40% of males have trouble lasting. You also need to tell him that having satisfiying sex is important to you, it will pull on maybe he does not care, because it is his prob, but if you make it yours as well he will care, if loves you.
    Also does he just like say Im cool after he bust? And stops... I know that when I would fast that I would give my girl the look like oops sorry, and than we would switch what we were doing and than I would wait 10 15 minutes and be ready again, if she had not had an orgasm in that time. If he is just quitting on you that is weak, and he may not be ready to deal with it. I know that it started with me in my 20s, I was fine before than... something just changed and it was hard for me to accept or talk about it.

    For me I was just in shock, I was like ? I look good, Im sexy, I know I can pull any chick I want... but I can not have sex for more than 5 minutes, it was really hard on me, and took me a long time to deal with it, and I still do to this day, I still have encounters where I bust fast, but its just much much less than what it was. The thing is that if you suppress this or hide it, its just like anything else it just gets worse, I know that once I admitted I had a prob, and was open and honest with the girl before we had sex, that I would feel that weight lifted off me, and perform better.

    I hope my ramblings help you see things under a new light, or give you some insight into a males perspective on this.
    Choux's Avatar
    Choux Posts: 3,047, Reputation: 376
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    #18

    Dec 19, 2008, 03:06 PM

    He's too old for you.

    Sounds like he knows you won't go anywhere, so he is doing just what he wants to do to please himself. He can do this with a naïve young girl who won't speak up for herself.

    YOu are going to have to fight hard for a pleasurable sex life with this guy. :)

    Good Luck!
    artlady's Avatar
    artlady Posts: 4,208, Reputation: 1477
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    #19

    Dec 19, 2008, 03:26 PM

    It happens and its normal but if he was a considerate lover he would make sure to bring you to orgasm before he does and he can also put off his orgasm by pressing firmly but not to cause pain in the perineum , the area between the scrotum and the anus.This will put off orgasm and many men say when they do orgasm after using this technique it is more pleasurable.

    You may also want to get on top as then you will have more control and can stimulate yourself as well as him.

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