I wasn't exactly sure whether to put this in the dating thread or this one. I'm 22 years old and I'm a virgin- never been in a relationship, barely dated. The problem is that every guy I meet who's my age (and I'm not interested in anyone more than say 5 years older than me) treats me like I'm the strangest person to ever walk the earth. I'm very attractive and nice, so guys have trouble believing I exist the way I do. I'm not religious, so they're always trying to figure out the mystery of why I haven't been in a relationship before- and the truth is, I don't know either!
All the guys I meet are scared away once they find out that I'm a virgin. I have learned not to tell anyone until I feel like I'm close enough to them, but at the same time, I'm not going to hide it when I'm interested in a guy. Then inevitably they make me feel like I'm inferior for not having much experience. They seem to be afraid that they're going to break me and see me as younger than my age. I feel like I scare away every boy that I like eventually. Sometimes it makes me feel pretty bad about myself, and I kind of dread telling a guy about my lack of experience. My sister and I joke that I have amazing virgin powers to drive boys away. I know its irrational but all this makes me feel like a big freak. Why do guys treat me like this? What is it about our society that everyone is supposed to lose their virginity in their teens?

sveltskye

Thanks Skell! ^_^

nicespringgirl

YOu are complete right and responsible for yourself. I think that's a shame if they think you are...
I think you are the best!!!

partydemon

Look my dear, firstly, forget about the guys that that scares they are not with you for the right reasons. I waited as well to lose my virginity but it was different, most guys wanted to be my first because it was a thrill in their eyes due to how special that moment is. It honestly shouldn't make a difference to the guy that you are in a relationship with. Sex is an exprestion of ones love to another in my opinion and wheither you have done it once or 100 times before that particular person it is just as special because you belong to each other. Don't bother trying to have someone understand why you are still a virgin because that shouldn't be the issue, the reason why you are a virgin is because you have never been with anyong special enough to share that with. It's normal.

Angel eyes22

heya, im 22 and well i was a virgin till a couple of months ago my boyfriend is older, he did kinda have a problem with it. it seems to be something to do with experience and commitment and some guys are scared of that. i agree that if a guy is mature enough he will respect that fact , usually an olderguy would probably find that more appealing coz ur special to them. i somedays have regrets but others none at all. make sure you meet the right guy and dont be scared of being you. i know lots of people who havent slept with anyone of our age both guys and girls and they are very attractive people too. the right person will come along soon unexpected good luck and dont feel pressured and rush into it! seriously though it aint nothing big!

E3317

Some men are horndogs, but I'm willing to bet some of the men you dated saw how important being a virgin was and knew they didn't want a very seriuos relationship and decided to walk and leave you intact down there. I don't see anything strange about a 22 year old virgin. I guess it is a big deal becaus of all ther responses. If dated a girl that was a virgin and only wanted to give it up after marriage I would leave her as soon as I realized that I didn't want a serious relationship. Sometimes the mood is right and you end up sleeping with someone without planning it. That could be the reason they are treating you differently. They don't want to take your prized posession.

sao2

I have the contrapositive problem. I attract virgins like moths to a flame. Or maybe it is vice-versa. Something about me looking at a girl with desire and her getting flustered. Maybe, I don't know. Somehow my last 2 serious girlfriends were both Virgins. Incidently they were both older than you when we started dating and it's not like I go after virgins. I went after them, and then found out.

In my case, I will be apprehensive about dating a virgin in the future. After 2 years one girl was still insisting she wasn't ready. Not to be heartless but in an adult relationship, it is not the only thing, but it is important. If I were to contemplate dating a virgin I would want to at least understand why it is important to her. If she told me "she was waiting for it to be right" and after a few months it didn't happen I would have to leave the relationship. I might want to spare myself the heartbreak of getting attached and then the accusations of "you were only interested in sex". We actually broke up over unrelated reasons, but whenever I brought up the sex issue she shut down and accused me of only being after one thing. After a while that argument goes out the window.(I'm a little bitter with her right now)

In the other case, we did have sex. We broke up because life took us in different directions and I was not ready to do a long distance relationship. I don't think she ever regretted her decision.

snotbubble

i admire you for keeping it for so long. I always wanted to save mine for marriage but lost it when i was 19. There are actually guys your age who are virgins, find one and it'll be so perfect to lose it together.

when i was 18 i only wanted to date a guy who was a virgin, so they wouldn't expect sex. but i found myself, liking a guy simply because he was a virgin, um so don't do it just for that reason :P

anyways, i don't know if it would bother you if you lost your virginity to a guy who had already been with another woman, but it sort of bothered me. but i do know that most respectable guys will love the fact that they will be the only one you have been with. and you have no baggage- which is perfect for a long serious relationship.

sveltskye

I'm not sure if anyone cares, but I was just looking over this thread again and was surprised and somewhat amused to see this still accumulating posts about my "virginity" when its really irrelevant to me now since I've had a boyfriend for about three months now and we've slept together by now. My sincerest apologies to anyone on this thread that I've dissapointed (and that means you Chuff LOL

He wasn't a virgin, and really is a much better guy than the dumbasses that I was complaining about on this post- y'all we're completely right. As for what you said, snotbubble (lol about the name), it didn't bother me that he wasn't a virgin because I'm his first girlfriend and I think the first girl he's been in love with so it still felt special. For him, it wasn't really an "honor" or anything I don't think, he just didn't mind one way or another. He wasn't phased at all when I told him, he was just like "oh, really?". Anyways, we're still together and things are going great.

I found it really interesting that I think I was totally ready to have sex by the time I finally got the chance. Some people lose it and feel like they made a mistake but I think in some ways it was a good thing for me to be as mature and ready for a real relationship as I was before I had sex. I didn't wait super long to take that step when I finally found someone because I knew I was ready. I kind of feel like I skipped all the dumb preliminary steps to having an adult relationship. I used to feel like I was cheated because of that, but I think I was just scared that I wouldn't be able to really make that step into romance because it was such a big one. I think I was already mature and acting my age when I wrote this post, but I have to admit, I feel like I've finally stepped completely into adulthood now that I'm in a real relationship.

I still think people make to big a deal about whether you're a virgin or not. After all, having sex doesn't make you automatically mature, and I think I was as or more mature than a lot of non virgins out there when I was a virgin.

I really appreciated all the wonderful comments I got on this thread. It was so nice to feel appreciated for something I kind of felt as a curse. It really had been getting me down for a long time, whether because of societal pressures or just my own self deprecating thoughts (probably both). But its so great to see so many people having such a supportive attitude. And I will too if I meet someone who felt like I did in the future. ^_^

nicespringgirl

Oh, no! How dare you!!
Do you realize how much trouble you make to me! Now I am the only virgin left, Chuff is texting me!! and I have to block him,LOL j/k.

I am 23, just like you, never had a bf, I am still a virgin. I want to keep it to my Mr. Right in the future.I know it might drive guys away from me, but that also helps me to see clearly who are "one of those guys'!
I respect on your decision, wish you the best!

Btw, Did that hurt???

sveltskye

You're awesome, Nicespringgirl! I'm glad there's someone to comfort Chuff now that I'm taken

I'm sure you'll find someone soon. I can see from your avator you're very pretty.

To answer your question, well we had a little trouble the first time, technical difficulties because I was well... such a virgin that he couldn't move very easily. Just a word of advice before you make the same mistake I did: use lube your first time. But it didn't hurt in particular more that time than any other time. See, for me it is still hurting occasionally depending on the day and how much foreplay there was. But its never like "ow take it out!" kind of pain, and it goes away after a few seconds.

Hopefully that wasn't TMI. ^_^