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Hmoore · Dec 5, 2007, 09:52 AM

I have a son on the way and the father wants nothing to do with my child. He has asked several times for a document to waive his rights. I am still deciding whether I need to press him for child support. If he waives his rights does that mean he is not eligible to pay child support? Also, if I cannot have his rights waived and one day I get married and my husband wants to adopt my son, would I then have to seek the birth father and waive his rights? Or if he hasn't been involved from the very beginning will it be easy for adoption to take place? I am confused and frustrated and feel like I am running in circles. My birth father waived his rights but I still had the opportunity to contact him, however he chose not to reply. It hurts, but I know its for the best and I have an amazing father now... please help

ScottGem · Dec 5, 2007, 10:02 AM

There are many threads here that discuss this issue. A court has to approve any termination of parental rights whether it be voluntary or not. And generally courts will only approve it if there is someone waiting to adopt or if the parent presents a danger to the child. They will NOT approve it just to let a parent off the hook for support. Even in the unlikely event that they grant termination, that does not relieve the parent of their responsibility for monetary support.

So I suggest you tell him just what I said and that if he doesn't want to be part of the child's life that's his choice and his loss. But that he can't legally divorce himself from his child, nor can he get out of his responsibilities towards that child.

And yes, if your future husband wants to adopt, you will need, at that time to get a relinquishment of rights from the bio father. But since, that will end his responsibility for support, I'm sure he will go along.

And you SHOULD file for support. If you need to get public assistance, they will require it.

Mikarleana · Dec 13, 2007, 08:23 AM

Originally Posted by Hmoore

I have a son on the way and the father wants nothing to do with my child. He has asked several times for a document to waive his rights. I am still deciding whether or not I need to press him for child support. If he waives his rights does that mean he is not eligible to pay child support? Also, in the event that I cannot have his rights waived and one day I get married and my husband wants to adopt my son, would I then have to seek the birth father and waive his rights? Or if he hasnt been involved from the very beginning will it be easy for adoption to take place? I am confused and frustrated and feel like I am running in circles. My birth father waived his rights but I still had the opportunity to contact him, however he chose not to reply. It hurts, but I know its for the best and I have an amazing father now...please help

If he don't sign the birth record, then he don't have rights anyway. That means no support either without DNA testing. To me your better off without him now since he wants nothing to do with the baby... it will only be worse in the future that also leaves adoption open for when you get married. If there is no fathers name on the birth record, then it makes it easier for adoption. That's what I was told by my husbands lawyer. Good luck!!

ScottGem · Dec 13, 2007, 08:33 AM

Originally Posted by Mikarleana

If he don't sign the birth record, then he don't have rights anyway. That means no support either without DNA testing. To me your better off without him now since he wants nothing to do with the baby....it will only be worse in the future that also leaves adoption open for when you get married. If there is no fathers name on the birth record, then it makes it easier for adoption. Thats what I was told by my husbands lawyer. good luck!!!!

That's not quite accurate. Just because the bio father doesn't sign the birth certificate doesn't mean he can't exercise his rights sometime in the future. Yes, it would require a DNA test to establish paternity, but once established the rights are established.

You can't say she would be better off without, she may need the financial support. And, if she needs to get public assistance she will have to reveal the father.

And when it comes time for adoption the courts will prefer there be a relinquishment of rights and will require that effort be made to get it.

Mikarleana · Dec 13, 2007, 12:11 PM

OK so I know you are going through all this in your personal life right? Well I am and so is my husband (with his "child"). Who really wants to be on public help? And if a "dad" wants a DNA test, it's really up to the mom. I only say this because right now we are going to court and my husband wants a DNA test dpne his ex girlfriend cheated so much and the judge asked her if she was willing and she said no. So my husband HAS TO PAY FOR A CHILD WHO MIGHT NOT EVEN BE HIS... with no visition rights. Now tell me that any mom in her right mind would let a man who wants nothing to do with her child give him that privilege?

ScottGem · Dec 13, 2007, 01:42 PM

Did your husband sign the birth certificate? How old is the child? If he signed the because then he acknowledged paternity and that's why the judge left it up to her. If he didn't sign the because then I can't understand a judge ordering him to pay support without proof of paternity. That should be appealled.

If your husband is being designated the legal father, then he should be able to get visitation. If he has a lawyer who has allowed these things to happen, he needs a new lawyer.