second thoughts

I had my first daughter when I was 17. It was the hardest thing i have ever done and the scariest. I too had no support and there were some times i didn't think i'd make it but i kept her. 3 years after that i got married, got pregnate and went throught a nasty divorce. My only option was to give my baby up for adoption. I knew there would be no way I could raise her and my other daughter alone knowing that her dad wouldn't be there. I won't lie to you, it was very hard but it was the best decision i ever made. I chose to have a open adoption so I got to know the adoptive parents very well. They were even in the delivery room when I had her. WE always keep in touch, talk on the phone, send pics. They are the nicest people and I knew I did the right thing. I am also adopted and 3 years ago I met my b-mom. We are very close. JUst make sure you chose the right people and that they would be open to your child meeting you in the future. I feel as thought my daughters parents are a part of my family. It's a nice feeling. JUst do what you feel is best.

33 years ago my wife and I adopted a little boy, and 2 years later adopted another boy. About a month ago, the birth mother of the younger son made contact with him, with his permission. This has raised questions for him, but also for us, hisparents, as well. We knew that this day might come sometime, but now that it is here, we must deal with it. How is the best way for us to be supportive of him and of his birth mother. I have e-mailed her several times, and want to be as supportive as possible. Any suggestions? Thanks for your help.

I had a similar problem cause that is what it becomes.
But it's because we get jealous and want everything for ourselfs ( hope your getting the picture ) but I had to cut some slack and left her to decide what she really wanted. At this very moment she is married has two children and the kids have 5 great grandparents. Just keep your hopes up.



(forgive my spelling )

well you have now learned a lesson not to screw around with out regards to what happens in the future go and seek help there are many single mother programs so you can have your baby and keep him or her they will help you. do what you think is right and go back to school and get the power to change your life,and dont have anymore kids unless you can afford it

Hi,
It's a little late to "preach" to you, cause you already have learned a great deal from being pregnant, no place to go, no income, etc.
I do wish you would talk with a support group near you for unwed mothers, or pregnant women. I am sure if you check out the phone book in your area, there is some kind of support group.
You really, really need to talk with someone, to help you see you are not alone, and decide what you want to do.
There is absolutely nothing I can offer as a suggestion; cause it's up to you.
If you talk with others, in a group, or even some type of counselor, it will help you to make up your mind.
Also, you didn't mention if you are a spiritual person or not, but you might consider going to a church, maybe some minister, etc, you know; and ask for advice. Until you talk with others, you might continue to have the feeling that nothing will work out right.......which is wrong; it WILL.
Best of luck,
fredg

Nowadays most adoptions can be arranged so that the natural mother can be a part of the child's life. It is the most unselfish and loving thing that you can do, to allow him to be adopted by a loving family that is able to give him the upbringing that he needs. Please don't have any second thoughts when it comes to this. Talk to your attorney or social worker for further information.

KEEP YOUR BABY!! go on welfare if you have to. it's not about money.. it's about LOVE.

Hi,
The other post saying "keep your baby, go on welfare" is something I hope you will not try to do.
Since you don't have a "steady or stable home", as you put it, how in the world can a baby have a stable home in your environment? It can't.
The other post about visitation with your baby is a good one. When you put the baby up for adoption, talk with the agency or person in charge to see if some arrangements can be made for you to visit.
How do you get over this? You can't. The best you can hope for is to accept your dilemma, talk with other girls who are pregnant, in the same situation, maybe through a group effort (should be phone numbers in your local phone directory about free group talks), and just do your best.
You will always remember this, and nothing will ever completely get it out of your mind. But, time will help heal all of this. You are not alone. At least 40% of all American girls are pregnant before the age of 20 !!
Find a group, and talk with others; it can and will help you talking about it with those in the same situation.
I do wish you the very best,
fredg

Adoption is NOT the answer.. never was, never will be.

There are pregnacy help centers... go to them. they can help you set up a place to live with your baby... help you with clothes for the baby, and things needed.

Open adoption has also turned out sour for most girls. they always start off open.. then the adopters leave the country without imforming you.
If you adopt your baby out.. you will never see it again.
If you have hopes of seeing/being part of your babys life... then DO IT NOW. not later.. later will never come for you.


take it from someone thats been there... done that.... and still sorry for it to this day.

Jas1st.