I am trying to find a direction or path to take to find out more about my Birth-mother, birth-father I have waited 21 years to find out who they are and it is a closed adoption I just would like to know the path I need to take to find out who they are thank you Jacob

BusyJ

I have an older sister and an older brother that were given up for adoption. I posted all the information that I knew on different web sites that put adoptees with family members. I figured if they were looking I would find them. I did find my sister in about 6 months after the first post. My brother is still out there. He may not even know he was adopted. Try that first. My sister spent a lot of money on private detectives and they never found her birth mom (my mother). Try the internet, the sites I went to were free and worked for me. Just make sure this is what you want. It is a big decision. Good luck in your quest.

Fr_Chuck

Often there is no way, remember the people that raised you are your real parents, they were there for hurts, to teach you to drive a bicycle and more. Have you discussed this with them, and how they feel about this.

JacobHenderson

Yes I love whom my parents are now and they are the ones that brought me the information so I am still seeking to find my birth parents chuck

FauxClaud

Hi there,
Since your parents are assisting in your search, I imagine that you have any information that they had recieved? You will also will want to talk to them and see what they remember. Any little silly facts can possibly help, though you really can't beleive everything that was passed on by an agnecy or social worker. In anycase, you will want to start making a list of things you are told..ie: mom was in art school, dad was army and od irish desent etc.

Then, if it was an agency adoption, go back to the agency. Often some will have search services, or have the files right there too..and can iniate contact. They can also supply you with your non idenitfing information or direct you to the state agancy that has that. You will want to get your non ID..as that can have more clues though it will not have names unless you live in one of the 6 states with unsealed original birth certificates. BUT many states also currently have open records legislation in the works too..so it is a good reason to write your local state reps!

Most states DO have some sort of reunion registry...you will want to sign up with those..though they do not have really good track records..so don't stop there! The best and biggest most susseful registrey is the ISRR..so you definalty want to go there: Also Adoption.com has a good search site..remember that when you are looking, dates may be slightly off..or you might find someone who alsmost fits the bill but goes against what you think you know...always inquire anyway!

You can also enlist in the help of a search angels ( list of some here ), or get a PI to help ( Kin solving is one) but many can complete a sucessful search with out having to pay for it..so I would advise saving that for a dead end.

WHat is also VERY important is to NOW start reading the stories of other people who have searched and the stories of relinquishing parents. You want to prepare yourself and be emotional ready as you can be for whatever possible outcome may happen. I strongly recommned reading The Girls WHo Went Away by Ann Fessler becasue the voices and stories of the moms in that book really do echo the emotional feelings of adoption and will help you understand your mother. At 21, ( so a early 80's adoption) her story will have some differnces, but the foundation will be very much the same. Hearing the voices of other adoptees and moms is very helpful..so try the blogsTaking to other adoptees also will help...Adoptese and Soul of Adoption are great places to get support and understanding.

Google will be your best friend..there is so much out there and on line now. But the links here will get you into the world adoptionland online.

Good luck..and try to have no expectations, and be open minded to what you might find...it is not called an rollar coaster ride for nothing. Be prepared for the emotions..they are al very normal..though intense!

lynnfarnham632002

Where was the adoption taken place? I am loking for the two boys I gave up for adoption. One in 1986 and one in 1984. Both in the state of Maine.