parents right to force minor to give baby for adoption

paynter167 · Feb 8, 2006, 07:13 AM

my 14 year old doughter is pregnant and wants to keep baby. me and my wife are 110% against this, do we have the right to force her to give this baby up for adaoption or does she being a minor have the right to keep this baby.

Stormy69 · May 6, 2006, 10:54 PM

I wish the OP would come back and give us an update on this whole situation..

fredg · May 7, 2006, 04:52 AM

Hi, Paynter,
If I were you, I would ask a Lawyer. I am not a lawyer, nor a professional in this area.
Your question did not ask for Moral issues; it asked for advice on "rights".
So, please talk with a lawyer, and find out the legal issues (if any), in your local area.
Personally, I agree with you. A 14 yrs old girl cannot support herself and a baby, so that means living at home with you; with you taking care of both her and a baby. I do agree with you, about putting this baby up for adoption.
Check with a lawyer, to see how if you need to do anything legally.
I do wish you the best, and good luck.

fairy-dust · May 25, 2006, 07:50 AM

NO YOU CANT, i cant belive you are even thinking of doing this, yes having a baby so young if not good but surely forcing her to give her baby up will break her heart and she will never forgive you for that, one of my friends felt forced in to an abortion she did it to please her parents but there isnt a day gose by when she looks at babys in the streets and wonders what her baby looks like or what she would of had etc. she stressed her out so much she become very ill andnow is pregant again but everyone around can see that she is trying to get her unborn child back, my best friend had a child young to her bf try forcing her into to aborting to lucky i talk her out of it and she tells me she is glad i was there to stop her from doing it. how would you feel if it was you in your daughters shoes ??????? the best thing to do is sit an talk to her about how you feel ask if she sure keeping the baby is for all the right reason if she still wants this baby then i would try and forget bout how you feel and help her through this tough time, she will need your surport and will feel much better for it

forgot to add i am adoppted and trying to find my real mum if i found out that this happened to my real mum then it would break my heart, not only you taking the baby away from your daughter you are taking a child away from its mother think of both of them, i am 19 and have a 7 month year old son my mum wasnt happy now she is thrilled to bits and loving bing a grandparent, if your worried that she wont be able to cope there is alot of help out there for all of you if i knew where you lived it would help, my sister had a child young to she still finds it hard to cope i had to take care of my niece for a while but now she has all the help she can get she has her daughter back and is doing wonderfully. pleae try and consider both side and the side of the unborn baby to

collinsmom · Jul 1, 2006, 09:42 AM

Dear Paynter167,
This is a very hard and difficult time for you and your family. Your daughter is going throught some very life changing things and needs all the help she can get. I would like to tell you that my husband and I adopted our son 4 years ago through open adoption. It was the best situation for us as a family. We went through many years of trying to have a child with no luck. We found the Independent Adoption Center in Indianapolis (where we lived at the time) that only handles open adoptions. This means that the birthmother (or birthparents) choses a couple that she/they meet and talk about how they would like to continue their relationship after the adoption. In our case, our birthmother (birthfather wanted no part of this process) wanted to get pictures from time to time and meet a couple times a year (usually in the summer and Xmas). We see her and her son along with Aunts, grandparents, cousins, and the birthfather's teenage daughters. It's wonderful for everyone involved. It's an additional family we didn't we wanted until it happened!! The adoption agency has mantory counseling for the birthmom. I would recommend that you and your daughter contact them to explore options. It's free and they have talked and worked with so many women and families, that they might be able to help you all too! It doesn't mean that you have to go through them for adoption or adoption at all, but at least they can help open some communication. They do have a website that you can goggle....
Take care of each other,
Erin

wynelle · Jul 2, 2006, 02:00 PM

It has been almost 6 months. The baby should be born or about to be born. Wish we had an update.

talaniman · Jul 2, 2006, 02:11 PM

I agree I've thought of this poor kid a lot.Ihope everything turned out okay.

valinors_sorrow · Jul 2, 2006, 02:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by paynter167

well i got my answer people i talked to a laywer and in nj the parent has the RIGHT to put the baby up for adoption if the child is a minor but not the right to force her to have an abortion.so if anyone wants a baby this one will surely be up for adoption

Q: Why are you asking this again when you already have your answer?

Bronica · Aug 12, 2006, 01:13 PM

well i can speak from both aspects.. i had a friend who had a baby at 13, her mother and the morman church put this baby up for adoption, much to my friends dismay. she went wild ran away did drugs and 2years later had her second child..though as an adult shes great she now has two children and a wonderful husband,but often is sad. then on the other had i had a neighbor who had a baby at 12! her mother decided there was no other option, the 12 yr old would raise the baby. and so she alone with no help from her parents other than a free palace to live, she did it! shes great too. shes not as well off as my friend but has two kids now 13&5 and married happy but w/reguret. i on the other hand had one at 17 i was married even before i got pregnant,short of a long story he left and my parents really helped out, keep in mind i was young and wanted to be free and do what the other kids were doing..so honestly often i would and leave my child w/my parents so in other words as hard as this is to admit now at 32 i can say that w/out my parents i never would have been able to do it. i was only a mother when it sooted me! now im married w/three kids 14,4,8mo. no regurets with all that in mind id be against giving the child up for many reasons raising this baby could really be joyful, but be prepared to be more then a grandparent at times..but go w/your heart. i dont know your child from adam and bringing a baby into the world is a big deal, and will require love,forgiveness,and understanding from all of you. if your ready to give up things and are a strong couple then id say tough love. "you made your bed now lie in it" but with only reguards to the wellbeing of the baby. or have you even thought about you as the grandparents about adoping the child? and where is the father? he has right too. maybe his parents could help if thats an option...

Jesushelper76 · Aug 12, 2006, 01:27 PM

I am hoping and praying that everything worked out for the teenage girl, her baby and family. I pray that she was able to keep her baby and was not forced to do anything she did not want to do. Adoption in my opinion if she did not keep the baby is the best choice. Especially is she wanted her baby to be safe from her neglectful and hateful parents.

Joe



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