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kmt1986 · Dec 29, 2007, 07:41 PM

I live in PA. Im not married yet & haven't had my child yet. I have one month to go. However, my x, who's child I'm pregnant with is a total dead beat. Him and I no longer speak with one another. Im in a very good relationship right now with a man I love and we have an apt together. Im on maternity leave & he is paying for everything. He is paying for all the stuff I need for the baby & helping me take care of her when she arrives. What if some day we decide to get married? Would I be able to not put a fathers name down on the birth certificate now & he be able to adopt her in the future? The biological father seems to have no intentions on being apart of her life as of right now. Hopefully that won't change. What steps would I have to take so that my boyfriend could eventually adopt her?
And until then what do I tell her when she asks where her daddy is? Do we call my boyfriend daddy? How could I possible explain all of this to such a young child?

George_1950 · Dec 29, 2007, 11:23 PM

Truth is the best policy. It is just a guess, but I believe you will have to disclose the name of the father. I do not know what they will say to you if you answer, 'I'm not certain'. You might give that some thought. If the natural father does not support the child, then you will have almost automatic evidence to prove that he abandoned her when you petition to have his paternal rights terminated. After the baby is born, I would send him a copy of the birth certificate and a letter informing of the arrival of his daughter. Send it certified, return receipt requested; keep up with his address so you can have him personally served with the petition at the appropriate time. Also, get a lawyer and have a will prepared.

brown_eyes_3546 · Jan 1, 2008, 04:20 PM

You can put whoever you want on the because in all honesty. My little brother has his moms husbands name on the because... he isn't the father. Or you can leave the place blank and send for a change later although it is more trouble than its worth. Or you can put the real father on there and at least have his name there if the child ever got sick it would raise options for transplants and things like that. Or if he is on the cirtificate you can go for child support seeing as it is his responsibility. It is up to you but keep in mind your child will probably want to meet its dad one day no matter how much of a skeez he is.

Fr_Chuck · Jan 1, 2008, 04:42 PM

Putting the biological father one or not on the birth certificate does not take away his possible rights, IF you do not list him, he will merely have to requiest DNA tests though the court. The biological father will have to sign his rights away for the new perosn to adopt. Lying is never the right thing, honestly about the persons parent is correct, and also showing how much this other person did. The real parent is the one who raises you, not the sperm donor.

Until then of course if you ask for child support, if he is a dead beat he will be normally glad to sign his rights away so his child support stops at adoption