I want to find my birth parents but am I out of luck if it's a private adoption in California in the 60's?
I am beyond dumb founded by some of these women who are angry due to their biological children seeking out them out!! I am going to try to remain composed. You say you don't want to be found and that is your "RIGHT". Well we as the given up were not given a choice. That choice was made for us and if you happen to be thinking about your child, you were gambling on a "better life" for your baby. I really don't think YOU have a clue what it's like to not know who your family is, what the medical history is etc. It was all taken away from the child. So please get over yourself and your almighty "oh you don't have a clue" if your not a biological mother.
Well try to imagine growing up wondering why wasn't I wanted? I don't care in the least what the circumstances were for the adoption. It really doesn't matter to a child. All they know is they were given away. Yes therapy can help, and yes maybe they had a better life (more often than not I'm sure) but the ache in the child's heart, a piece is missing, will never go away. Say what you will. Pain is pain!
Do you have a question, or do you just want to rant?
Do you question every little decision that your adoptive parents made for you when you were too young to make those decisions yourself. You know... like vaccines, or what school you went to, or whether to expose you to chicken pox or let you go to Disneyland or whatever?
Why do you question the ONE parenting decision that your biological parents made on your behalf then?
I agree that you should have access to your medical history. I also think that reunions done through reunion websites are GREAT!
I do not think, however, that you have the right to force yourself into ANYONE else's life, whether they gave birth to you. Many women only chose adoption because they were promised secrecy FOREVER.
Sorry, but you DON'T have a clue what it's like to be a birthparent, and to deal with the grief and pain and the worry that goes with it. I stand behind my decision to place my daughter for adoption. I was not in a good place when she was born, and adoption gave her access to a much happier and safer life than I could give her. It was the best and only parenting decision I could make for her.
It had nothing to do with not wanting her--and you have issues beyond adoption if that is what you believe. You should continue to go to therapy for them, because adoption is not usually a case of "wanting" or "not wanting", but a case of "not being able to do it". If you don't care what the circumstances were, then why do you care about finding your birthparents? And the terminology has changed--it's not "given away" for adoption, but "placed", like you'd place your greatest treasure, for adoption.
I'm sorry for your pain, but you still do not have the right to invade the privacy of any other adult without their consent.
Register on reunion websites and hope for the best, and receive therapy and counseling to help you understand why your family was not enough for you to feel like a complete person.