How do I find my biological parents when I was in a closed adoption?

1. Ask your adoptive parents for as much information as possible.

2. Contact the adoption agency used. You may be able to leave a letter or your contact information with them.

3. Contact the courthouse in the county where your adoption took place, and the county where you were born. Again, they may allow you to leave contact information or a letter for birthparents.

4. Register on online reunion sites. Probably the best one out there is ISSR, but adoption.com and adoption.org also have prominent reunion pages that you can register on.

5. Get counseling to prepare yourself for your birthparents NOT wanting a reunion. My experience seems to show that about half the people from closed adoptions want contact, and the other half do not---both birthparents and adoptees. If your birthparents do NOT want to have a reunion, are you prepared for that? Are you prepared to find out that you're the product of a rape and your birthmother just wants to forget that time in her life? Yes, in many cases it was just a case of bad timing and the inability to provide for a child that led to adoption, but in some cases it WAS a traumatic experience, and one that the birthparents may have already made their peace with and moved on.

I'm a birthmom in an open adoption--I know I want my daughter to come find me at 18 (all of my current contact is through her adoptive parents), but I know a birthmom who chose adoption in the 70s, and she absolutely, unequivocally, positively does NOT want contact with the child she placed. Her family never knew she was pregnant, her current husband and kids don't know about the adoption, and for her, it would just about ruin her life if her son just showed up one day hoping for a happy reunion.

Look--I am not trying to rain on your parade--I hope you find them! And I hope they are open to meeting you! However, you HAVE to be prepared to have them reject any contact with you if you do find them.