please i need help i reasently got pregnant, i cant keep it, im in law school in my first year and my bf will leave me.. how can i get rid of it besides abortion... im scared.. and i really dont want it..

ChihuahuaMomma

You can have the baby and give it up for adoption. Other than that, there is no way other than abortion. And I'm sure to be so blunt, if your boyfriend would leave you for being pregnant (which is partially his fault) then he's a jerk. And you should leave him.

passmeby

Please, consider giving the baby up for adoption. It's only 9 short months out of your whole life that you will have to carry the child.....that's nothing!! At least one month has already gone by probably, maybe more....There are some wonderful people out there that would just die for a baby and think how much of a great thing you could do for them!! I have some family members that adopted and they are forever greatful. Start talking to adoption agencies and adoptive families, many times if you are in financial trouble or need a place to live and food and all that, they will pay for your living expenses and Dr visits as well. They will take good care of you!!

I hope you're not asking of a way to harm yourself in order to hurt/kill the baby, that would be very dangerous. There is nothing you can do besides have a professional perform an abortion. There is nothing you can eat or drink that will kill the baby but not kill you in the process. Please be safe, whatever you decide. I pray that you decide to give birth to the baby and please trust me that you will be taken care of, all you have to do is seek and ask for the help you need. If you decide you can't go through with it, then a legal professional abortion is the only way.

And to echo what the other poster said, if your BF will leave you for being pregnant, then he's a real jerk and doesn't deserve to be with you. He had sex with you and he is not willing to face the consequences. That's not cool.

ChihuahuaMomma

I just want to point out that there is a third alternative, only if you became pregnant less than three days ago. That's the Emergency Contraceptive pill.

Otherwise, adoption and abortion are your only options. And please don't let other's beliefs or opinions sway you one way or the other. This is a decision that you and only you can make.

I do however, agree about the bf. He's not worth your time. You say you are in law school. You are a smart girl. Don't let him weigh you down.

I want to say something else as well. If he would leave you if he finds out that you are pregnant, and you are willing to do something to end the pregnancy and not tell him about it. You have a trust issue in your relationship. This is something that you should be able to share with him. If you are scared of his reaction and the consequences, this doesn't seem like a healthy relationship.

Sorry to be so harsh and straight forward, but these are things that I think you need to face.

-i-love-my-boyfriend

hey thanks alot, it means alot but im just nervous to loose him because i love him, hes only 17 and just finishing school. do you know any adoption familys or companys?

ChihuahuaMomma

The Adoption Authority of Ireland

I hope that helps.

Synnen

ONLY 9 short months? are you out of your mind?

You then have the rest of your life to live with people telling you that you must not have loved your child that you could give it away. Or the flip side of that is people telling you how "wonderful" and "generous" you were to "give a couple" the child they always wanted --when really, you're giving your child the parents you aren't able to be at that point in time.

After carrying a child for 9 months, you're generally rather attached (haha), and there's a LOT of pain and heartache that you go through during relinquishment. It's not like having a cold for 9 months and then being relieved when it finally goes away!

To the original poster: Get counseling. Find an independent (by that I mean one NOT associated with an adoption agency) counselor and talk to him/her about ALL of your options, and about your rights as they pertain to your child. Don't let anyone coerce you or convince you - YOU must make this choice, because you alone have to live with it for the rest of your life.

Wildsporty

The only advice I will give is think about talking to your boyfriend about it, it is his child also and he should have a say. If you do not it will cause problems later in your relationship if he finds out.

Now it sounds like you need someone to help you with your decision as it is a huge life changing one and not to be taken lightly nor is it something that you should allow anyone else to make for you.

You have 4 choices, marriage, adoption, abortion, single parenthood

There are centers that you can go to , live at until the baby is born and than give it up for adoption or keep it. No one will know about it unless you tell them. You would have to take some time off to go there before you are noticeable in your pregnancy. You will be safe, well cared for and the baby will find a good home.

I put the lifecall.org site on there and the Mary Weslin.org site to help you in case you are interested.

I also put in the planned parenthood.org site in case you are seriously considering abortion. (it is your body, it is your choice)

Here are a couple of good websites I want you to go check out:

Young & Pregnant: What Are Your Options?

Unplanned Pregnancy. Pregnant, Teen, Adoption, Abortion Alternatives, Adopt, Parent, Choices, Crisis

Lifecall:
Mary Weslin Homes

Planned Parenthood Federation of America, Inc.

There may also be local resources wherever you are. You are 18, you can talk to doctors or nurses and they must keep it confidential, but they can often help you find someone to help you with your decision.

You want it to be the right decision because either way it will be with you the rest of your life. Make it wisely and seek advice.

Shirley

Synnen

michelleh1970 disagrees: you are not her, everyone is diffrent. A person shouldn't keep a child they do not want.

No, I'm not her. And yes, everyone is different.

I'm not trying to force her to choose parenting. If you ask anyone, I'm the biggest advocate of people making their OWN choice on this board, and I have no problem with anyone choosing what is best for THEM.

However--as a birthmom who DID choose adoption. I feel I have the right to point out that you don't just walk away from it and forget, like so many people seem to think. Even though I wasn't ready for a child, and absolutely knew I couldn't raise one, that didn't mean I didn't love the child growing in my body. I feel that adoption gets way too much spin from those "poor, poor couples desperate to have a child that would be happy to raise YOURS". Well, it's not all wine and roses. Too few people understand that you're not just giving up a baby, but a child, a link to yourself. And almost no one looks beyond the immediate problems of a pregnancy and a baby to when you're 30-something and wondering what your adult child is like.

I am just pointing out that adoption isn't as easy as people make it out to be. It's not even CLOSE to easy to hand over a child, even one you didn't want or didn't plan, without your heart breaking. And closure is next to impossible.

I'm not making her choice for her--I thought I made it explicitly clear that she had to make her OWN choice.

I'm just pointing out that depending on the timing of everything, a safe legal abortion might work better for her. Or parenting. Or yes, adoption. But she needs impartial advice from someone trained to give it, someone that had NO investiture in her child (which, like it or not, an adoption agency WOULD). She needs FACTS, and she needs OPTIONS, so that she CAN make the best choice, both for herself and for her child (if she decides to go to term).

Wildsporty

I don't know where you are, but if you should wish to give me your state I will look up some local resources for you.

I do not wish to tell my story, I will only say that I faced this when I was only 17. Nice people helped me along and I can never repay them enough. I spent several years volunteering with the Salvation Army.

I am now 59, was married for 30+ years, have a great career, and raised a beautiful family when the time was right. Life does go on and you will go on with it.
Please let someone help you deal with this challenge and figure out what is the right thing for you to do.

You need to know that no matter what anyone says different events affect different people in different ways. What is right or wrong for someone may not be right or wrong for you.

Each person is an individual and has separate individual traits that make them different from anyone else. There is no right way or wrong way to meet this challenge, only whatever way is the right way for you as an individual.

I sometimes volunteer to answer hard questions for others and have an email for that purpose that is not my personal email. If you wish to speak to me privately let me know and I will give it to you.

My thoughts are with you as you feel frightened, bewildered and so very much alone! I think that is the hardest part.

May you find comfort in knowing you are not alone...there are others out there with the same challenges they also must meet.

Shirley