please i need help i reasently got pregnant, i cant keep it, im in law school in my first year and my bf will leave me.. how can i get rid of it besides abortion... im scared.. and i really dont want it..

passmeby

Synnen, if you read my post, I said 9 months that you have to CARRY the child. I am smart enough to know that no matter what you decide to do after becoming pregnant, the choice itself and the consequences remain for the rest of your life. I feel the way I do (pro-life) because abortion is absolutely permanant. There is no coming back from that, there is no chance to change your mind, to right the wrong - if you end up feeling that you did wrong by that choice).

I'm not trying to tell anyone what to do, only praying that she might calm down and think it through. I have kids and I've also had an abortion. Any choice is hard. Any choice sticks with you and possibly haunts you forever. At least if you choose to give it life, you don't have that issue hanging over your head.

Of course no one should just do what someone on a message board says, but she came here for opinions and advice, and that's what she will get. Would it be constructive for everyone to respond 'Weigh the options and make your decision"...obviously, that's what she will do. But in order to get the full effect of the options, she would need different opinions and advice. Who knows who or what may change her mind?? And that's precisely why we all responded, because we thought we had something to say to this girl.

samantha777

Hey..i dont know if your up for it this way but i would be willing to take that baby off your hands for you girl..it would be a miricle for me trust me..i was pregnant and 19,twins, but a cancer tumor formed and i lost both of the babies. after that i went through two brutal years of chemotherapy; 4 days in 3 days out of the hospital every week for that two years..unfortunatly at the time my boyfriend was abusive and he eippd my clothes off of me in his parents garage while they were out of town, and hosed me down with the hose in the middle of winter.. untill the neighbor finally heard me crying and screaming and they called the cops..the result of that was i ended up with pnemonia and started to choke and i guess sorta swallow my tongue.i dont know..it was all a blur to me at that point...i didnt feel much of anything anymore back then....they did an emergency hysterectomy to save my life..they made the decision for me after they stablized me from the pnemonia how ever it was in my eyes a failed attempt to save my ability to try to have another..now..as far as the crazy type of cancer it was, it was so very rare that there was only one doc. in the west U.S. that had treated it before..she said it was more frequent in china where she was from, and usually it stuck the very young or the very old during the early parts of pregnancy..soo...that is my story..and to be honest i and my fiance' would be blessed if you would just consider this option for us..you and your baby would be the blessing.the miracle..im 33 and im getting those feelings of needing to be a mother..its all i think about anymore...if you are even considering this..please..let me know.

-i-love-my-boyfriend

hey thank you, it mean alot..
could you please help me find someone for this child.. im only 3 weeks pregnant and very much scared. none of my family knows, and my bf will leave if he does find out xx

Synnen

How in the WORLD do you think he's NOT goign to find out?

Pregnancy isn't exactly invisible, you know. Are you even thinking this through at this point?

I think right now, you're scared and you're REacting, not being PROactive.

You need to get yourself more information about all three choices before you start just panicking and letting someone else make your choices for you. Regardless what you choose, you WILL have regrets.

I see myself in you, 16 years ago. While I sympathize with people desperate to adopt (believe me, my husband and I have been TTC for 7 years now), I really don't think that they are the people you should turn to for advice right now. THEY are the ones who will get a happy ending out of it, not you.

While it probably wouldn't have made me decide NOT to choose adoption 16 years ago, I wish that someone had talked to me about the realities of being a birthmom instead of the rosy, happy, you've-made-a-couple-very-happy side.

But....you're still at the stage where you just want someone to make it all better for you, and there's nothing I can do to help you with that. NO ONE can make it all better for you.

The only other piece of advice I have for you is to get rid of a boyfriend that won't stick around for the tough stuff. Sounds like you're just a piece of a$$ to him if he doesn't care about you enough to help you through the hardest choice you'll ever make. Do you really want to be around THAT for the rest of your life?

George_1950

I know someone who went through this about eleven years ago; she was a little younger than you. She knew she did not want an abortion and decided to keep her baby, who is today a beautiful and talented ten year old daughter. Thank you for posting your question and reminding all of us that our choices sometimes have colossal consequences.

dollface_93

I went through this myself I was a little older at the time 21, was goign to give the baby up for adoption, because I personally believe that abortion is murder... needless to say I grew attached to my son and kept him, there really is never a good time to have kids and it isn't as difficult as you may think it is. I would also like to point out and you may not like this... you are both very young and there is a very good chance one of you will end up moving on, you probally won't be with him forever, thats just the way the world is now... make a decision for yourself, one that will make you happy not him. I do think you need to talk to him about it tho.
if you need to talk or have any questions just write to me.
I will keep you in my prayers.

christinacraig

Please let this baby be born and then if you decide you dont want it then give it to someone who cant have a baby. You are old enough to know what having sex without protection can became. further more coming from myself I left my husband 6 years ago because he didnt want the baby, any"man"can lets say make a baby but it it takes a special MAN to be a daddy. sadly the little boy , my baby boy is nolonger with me today and my life is a greater place because I got to know this little baby that grew inside of me for 9 months. I have a 3 year old little girl now and going back to school to get a degree it is not as hard as people say you just dont have time for yourself to "party or have more sex but in hey that could be a good thing. I cant have anymore babies , I almost lost my life to have my daughter so do be thankful you can have more babies and give your baby at least a chance to have a great life. Rather or not you keep the baby he probley wont stay anyway. when I called my ex husband that "Our" baby was no longer here who he never did hold and saw only for about 15 min once and he only lived 30 min away his comment was "if i cared i'd be there. " know this that if you decide to keep you child then you wont regret it when she/he takes thier firs step says thier first word,ect and you will find a great man that deserves to be in your childs life .

passmeby

Hey, dollface, you said something quite wise that I was thinking too.....that there is a great chance that these two will not be together forever. They are so very young, and this girl is holding all the burden here and is possibly making a decision that will appease the BF. She really needs to think for herself, damn the BF. This choice is most definately, 100% going to be there with her no matter what she chooses...keep, adopt, abort....that never goes away. The BF, however, more likely than not, will be gone eventually. I'd hate to see someone get an abortion or give up the child just to keep the guy happy only to have him leave later on and have her in even more pain and guilt.

When I try to think back to who my BF was when I was 18....I gotta tell ya, I'm drawing a blank. i couldn't bear to think I made such a life altering decision based on what he wanted at that time. I have done many dumb things for BF's before, like quitting an amazing job, moving, loaning money....all of it was mistakes. I know at the time, you think this guy is your world, and it's hard to see it any other way. But truth be told, most relationships don't last. The most important thing is, do what YOU want and nothing less. You are the only one who will absolutely, positively have to deal with the decision till the end of time. It would be a serious mistake to let the BF's happiness make the decision for you.

danielnoahsmommy

is she legit. 18 and 1st year law school. what happend to the other 4 years of college?

templelane

danielnoahsmommy, it's a different system in the UK and Ireland!