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beanster · Feb 17, 2007, 09:10 PM

Here are the symptoms
Erratic behavior,wears sun-glasses all the time-even indoors,he seems to have aged decades,hair long and unkempt,teeth discolored,weightloss of fifty pounds or more in a few months,sometimes he seems paranoid,anger outbursts,cut himself off his family,new and strange friends and several affairs going on simultaniously.We are separated but I have tried to tell his friends and family that he needs professional help but they all buy into his story that it's all my fault.I forgot to mention that his hands sometimes shake so badly that he has problems doing simple things.
You tell me...

l99057j · Feb 17, 2007, 10:03 PM

Definitely cause for concern. If he is, he isn't getting it for free... have you noticed any changes financially? Money missing or anything like that? Have you looked through the house thoroughly for any paraphernalia?

beanster · Feb 17, 2007, 11:14 PM

He never has money although he has a steady job.I should also mention that several people have told me about the drastic change in his personality to erratic and unpredictable.

beanster · Feb 20, 2007, 11:13 AM

I read up on meth addiction and it fits him to the T.All the symptoms match!It is pityfull to watch,really...

isabelle · Feb 22, 2007, 09:35 AM

It takes a very rich person about year to be on the street. I don't know what kind of a job he has but it won't be long until he is on the street. I know it is hard to watch him decline, but it sounds like you can do nothing about it.
This is hard to say but you need to get away and take whatever is left to take. You can not help him but you can go down with him.

beanster · Feb 22, 2007, 10:36 AM

I agree but since I called the police when he became violent he has moved out.I asked his friends to get him professional help but they don't see the problem.He is moving to another city altogether.I am however still struggling with the years of abuse that I could not explain.

isabelle · Feb 22, 2007, 03:50 PM

I know it is hard, but having him leave your town will make it much easier on you. Sometimes we need to say.. there is nothing I can do. I think that is a very brave and hard thing to do
Perhaps with him gone and you know it was drugs.. . now maybe you can begin to heal. Remember you are not alone. There are so many. Why don't you try to find a good support group?

beanster · Feb 22, 2007, 04:25 PM

I am looking for one in my area but a lady from the police called me who follows up on abuse reports and she was very helpful.I have friends,thoug,who are helping me.

Melena · Feb 27, 2007, 03:43 PM

Originally Posted by beanster

Here are the symptoms
erratic behavior,wears sun-glasses all the time-even indoors,he seems to have aged decades,hair long and unkempt,teeth discolored,weightloss of fifty pounds or more in a few months,sometimes he seems paranoid,anger outbursts,cut himself off his family,new and strange friends and several affairs going on simultaniously.We are separated but I have tried to tell his friends and family that he needs professional help but they all buy into his story that it's all my fault.I forgot to mention that his hands sometimes shake so badly that he has problems doing simple things.
You tell me...

My ex husband is a meth addict and that is why we are divorced. You are describing him perfectly. The sad thing is he won't change until he is ready to change. He will lose everything he has if he doesn't realize he needs help. The only thing you can do is stay strong in your convictions that he has a problem. If you have children with him then you need to talk to an attorney about him not getting visitation. Be very careful when he is angry this is usually when they are coming down and he could become violent.

Jack_Jack 238 · Feb 27, 2007, 03:47 PM

My opinion I think he is myself because one of my family members used to do the same thing and found out and wore his sunglasses inside and also when it was really dark. And there was a lot of anger problems to.

beanster · Feb 27, 2007, 04:04 PM

He is on his way to New Mexico and seems more together but I will see how it goes.I did tell him about my suspicions which he of course denied.Yes,I will be better off.I feel better already!Even physically!I had no idea how that was affecting me..

hazzzzzzza · Mar 1, 2007, 10:10 PM

Sorry to hear that seems like he needs a lot of help there are support groups and detox places where he can get help

beanster · Mar 2, 2007, 12:13 AM

Yes,there are but he is running away to another city.His brother confirmed my suspicions.I talked to him yesterday.

J_9 · Mar 2, 2007, 05:26 AM

Beanster,

Let me start by saying I am so sorry you are in such a terrible position. I know it must be hard for you.

Yesterday I did my alcohol and drug rotation at school. We spent the entire clinical day in a D&A reha center in Missouri in the men's dorm. Many of those men were addicted to Meth and described their actions prior to rehab almost identical to what you are saying of your husband.

I read that your suspicions were confirmed, however it may benefit you to find some support groups in your area for YOU. There are groups such as Al-Anon and Narc-Anon that support the family rather than the addict.

I understand that he is leaving and moving away, however these groups me still be beneficial to you in helping you cope with all aspects of your husband's addiction no matter if he is in your house or on the streets.

Addiction is lifelong, although he may quit the drugs he will always be an addict and it would be in your best interests to join a support group to help you understand that you are not alone.

l99057j · Mar 2, 2007, 09:25 AM

***** HUGE THUNDEROUS APPLAUSE FOR BEANSTER ******

You recognized the symptoms, looked for help, and got yourself out of a bad situation. Do you know how many people are too weak-willed or scared to do the same?

Congratulations. I know, unfortunately, it isn't over... there will be more fallout I'm sure. But take a while to be proud of yourself for handling things the way you did.

Best wishes, beanster!

beanster · Mar 2, 2007, 09:44 AM

I will do to the court and ask for a total financial separation as he is not able to take care of money and I don't want that on my credit records.I am aware of addiction.I know that some people just are addiction prone and he is.He wrote about psychological problems twenty years ago in his journal which he left behind so it's not a new thing.

isabelle · Mar 6, 2007, 05:55 AM

Beanster.. it sounds as if you are doing all the right things, but be prepared for his come back. When he hits bottom he will be back. Now is the time for you to strengthen yourself for this. Your life is separate from his now and you know you can not help him.
Stay strong but be prepared.

youngGirl1607 · Mar 15, 2007, 09:43 AM

Originally Posted by beanster

Here are the symptoms
erratic behavior,wears sun-glasses all the time-even indoors,he seems to have aged decades,hair long and unkempt,teeth discolored,weightloss of fifty pounds or more in a few months,sometimes he seems paranoid,anger outbursts,cut himself off his family,new and strange friends and several affairs going on simultaniously.We are separated but I have tried to tell his friends and family that he needs professional help but they all buy into his story that it's all my fault.I forgot to mention that his hands sometimes shake so badly that he has problems doing simple things.
You tell me...

yup,
if money is missing randomaly, cuts himself outa the family

I did meth and it mad me happy but everyone else's high is different.

it should most def be a concern

whiteladybug2002 · Mar 15, 2007, 09:48 AM

My ex husband is a meth addict and Melena is right, he will only change when he is ready to change! The best thing for you to do is worry about helping yourself and let his family worry with him. There is nothing you can do for him right now. If he needs you, he will come to you, but be very careful!

Good luck and God loves you!

missgallucci · Apr 22, 2007, 10:57 AM

You should try to become friendly with him, tell him you started doing it or something and see what he says. Unless that wouldn't be believable because when it comes to meth heads they always try to find a way out always making excuses and its really hard to give them help. REally hard...